Neighbourhood kids in my house

[Heysham1]

I recently moved into a house with my three young children (6,4 & 3). Nice house, nice street, loads of kids. So far, so good.
However, recently, my house has become the 'hub' for all the other kids living on the street to visit. The age range is from 3 to perhaps 14 years old. Most of the time the kids all play together on the street.

The children are always reasonably polite, but seem very street-wise, something my children aren't.
They will often walk into and around my house without my knowledge and there have been occasions where a 3year old has been wandering around my house without me (or anyone else) knowing where she was. They will walk into bedrooms to take toys to play outside with and generally treat the place like their home.

The parents of these kids (from three other families) do not know me - apart from the odd hello, so it seems odd to me that they should be as lax as to allow little ones to do this.
Another issue is a 10year old boy who seems quite old for his age - as I type this he is lying on my couch watching a DVD with my kids. I didn't invite him into my house (but my kids are happy with him to be there), and he is asking my kids to cuddle him.

So, my questions are such:
Do I have a rule that no other kids are allowed in the house (this seems to be rule for the other houses) - or is that unreasonable and unsociable?
Should little children be left to wander around my house - do I inform the parents?
How do I stop the 10year old from cuddling my kids without causing embarrassment to my kids?

I am often 'responsible' for 9 kids (including my own) running in and out for the house and across the road immediately outside).
Help - am I being taken for a ride!

OP, I am in a very similar position, except I've lived here 12 years! I have had to start being very, very grumpy indeed and very strict with the kids in question. It's bad enough having my house invaded by children I do know! The final straw was when I got up one Sunday morning to discover the garden full of kids I've never seen before (mine were still in bed). I'd have a word with the parents if I knew who they were !

I've put a bike lock around the garden gate and have started locking the front door when I'm in too. When I get in from work with the DC (after school club and nursery) there's often a little queue of children wanting DS (6) to play out, it feels a bit like running a gamut of paparazzi to get in the house sometimes. We just have to be firm.

Nurnochkurz - well you never know! He is very sociable. But the kid next door is lovely too and they all seem to play out a lot.

Maybe kid next door is busier, they have a lot of activities they go to.

Ds1 has that rare quality of liking, and being liked by, almost everyone - even if I don't like a kid, and ds understands why, and agrees with me, he will still hang about with them

Never sure whether to encourage this or not!

Well for a start, the ten year old would be asked very firmly to leave my house and go home and watch his own television.
And your children are far too young to need to wander in and out at will. Keep the door locked, and if your children want to go outside to play they ask first. That way no random children can just wander in. If someone does manage to come in just say 'sorry but you can only come in here if your mummy and me both say it's okay, so you'd better go home now'.
Small kids don't take offence the way adults do.

Some interesting feedback - thanks.
I think this has crept up on me a bit, as the kids couldn't play outside at our last house.

The new rule of no kids (other than min) in the house was implemented yesterday evening and worked well. I might also have a word with the mum of the youngest child in the street, as the girl is running across the road constantly, which scares me to death - I feel very responsible, as I am the only adult watching all the children.

I also had a good talk with my 4year old girl re cuddling other children and we went through a list of people that it was appropriate to cuddle (me, nana, aunties etc), but the 10year old boy will not be allowed in the house again. If I feel that anything is in any way inappropriate, then I feel confident to send him away and will speak to his parents if necessary.

Just need to toughen up a bit and take control - while still promoting outdoor games.
I find this old parenting lark a bit tricky sometimes - so good advice!

that they should be as lax as to allow little ones to do this
I think it is probably the case that the parents are unaware that their children have not been invited round. Eg. If one of mine asked to go to see their friend across the road, I would assume they had already discussed it with said friend and only needed my permission. I also would assume that if said friend's mother did not want my child around, they would not hesitate to tell them no.
Really the fault lies with you IMO. The majority of the children seem too young to understand the social etiquette of an actual invite being required, and therefore take you not saying anything as permission.

The cuddling is probably of the 'oh you are so tiny and cute' variety.
DD(1) finds small children so adorable and is so nice and kind to them. She will hug a child who responds extra well to her.

Fair point Ellegrace - I agree that I need to take responsibility, but also, the child I mentioned, that I found in my house, was only three. I personally wouldn't assume (as her parent) that she had asked my permission to be in there.
Also, her family have no idea of my home-life, ie whether my house is safe, whether I have a husband/partner/lodger - the child is just allowed to play outside and will wander into a house.
So yes, absolutely agree that I need to do something now, but I also think there is responsibility on both sides.

If you are sat outside with your children why don't you take your keys and then shut the front door. They don't need an open door policy if you are sat out with them do they. If they need anything from inside you can then let them in with your key. That's of course if you actually are sat outside with them in the first place.

Fallout -'That's of course if you actually are sat outside with them in the first place.'

What would be the benefit of me not being truthful about sitting outside?
If I didn't care about the safety of my children, I would sit inside and shut the door and let them get on with it. I probably wouldn't bother asking for advice on a public forum.

We have a similar problem, the back of our house and the surrounding houses are very open. If I let my kids into our garden other kids seem to see it as an open invite to come over, it sounds mean but I just want to watch my kids, give my kids treats without feeling tight for not handing them out to everyone. One neighbour even took a swing from our garden "you were out so I didn't think you'd mind". I told her a did mind and have moved it but I wish I didn't feel like I had to

I think you should be able to have your doors open without children assuming they can just swan in whenever they like.

I agreebippity - how horrible to have to lock your door when you're sitting right outside it, and unlock it to let your child in to use the toilet or get a drink of water (how does that pan out - do you lock them in? Or round up all your kids from their games and make them stand in the corridor behind a locked door until their sibling finishes peeing. .. then troupe them out again til the next one needs the loo. ..? How dreary and kill joy).

OP has brought in some ground rules - hopefully that's all that's needed! If you live somewhere pleasant enough to play out the prison camp mentality is unnecessary.