Neighbourhood kids in my house

[Heysham1]

I recently moved into a house with my three young children (6,4 & 3). Nice house, nice street, loads of kids. So far, so good.
However, recently, my house has become the 'hub' for all the other kids living on the street to visit. The age range is from 3 to perhaps 14 years old. Most of the time the kids all play together on the street.

The children are always reasonably polite, but seem very street-wise, something my children aren't.
They will often walk into and around my house without my knowledge and there have been occasions where a 3year old has been wandering around my house without me (or anyone else) knowing where she was. They will walk into bedrooms to take toys to play outside with and generally treat the place like their home.

The parents of these kids (from three other families) do not know me - apart from the odd hello, so it seems odd to me that they should be as lax as to allow little ones to do this.
Another issue is a 10year old boy who seems quite old for his age - as I type this he is lying on my couch watching a DVD with my kids. I didn't invite him into my house (but my kids are happy with him to be there), and he is asking my kids to cuddle him.

So, my questions are such:
Do I have a rule that no other kids are allowed in the house (this seems to be rule for the other houses) - or is that unreasonable and unsociable?
Should little children be left to wander around my house - do I inform the parents?
How do I stop the 10year old from cuddling my kids without causing embarrassment to my kids?

I am often 'responsible' for 9 kids (including my own) running in and out for the house and across the road immediately outside).
Help - am I being taken for a ride!

I am pretty speechless that your 6,4 and 3 year old have free access to your house hence you needing to leave the door unlocked.

They are SO young!

Fuck me.
Lock the Door to stop the free access. It's obviously not working cos your own 3 year old wanders I and out .
By all means if the Back garden is Enclosed and safe then leave the back door open. But front door, kids
Need to ask if they can come in and
Out.
You need to deal with this now before your kids are teens And think it's fine to come and go at all hours

Think I have answered questions re 'free access', I made it sound too lenient. They are always in clear sight of me (as I'm outside) and close by. It's just that I keep the door open, so they can come in the house if they want to. They aren't going off to the shops or anything!

op so when your sitting on wall watching why dont you just tell the kids no in the house before they even enter?

Exactly ghost

I kid myself that I am not judgey, but I think maybe I am.

I shiver to think of all the vacuuming/cleaning you need to do by your front door at the end of the day.

You should stop the kids entering your house if you are indeed out there all the time.

As for a ten year old you don't know wanting to cuddle your very young children, just no. Why would you even put them in that situation?

How did the mystery three year old get into your house without your knowledge if you are always out there?

I can't get my head round the 'free access' to such young children and a myriad of other peoples children you don't even know. I would never do it in our street, so perhaps this colours my view.

'I want my kids to play outside, so this is what I need to do. My kids don't cross roads, go out-of-sight, go into any else's houses etc - so this seems quite a safe situation.'

You allow a 3- and 4-year-old 'free access'? You sit on a wall the entire time and yet these kids are coming in your home? No, OP, this is not a 'safe' situation. It is not safe to let 3 and 4 year olds roam unsupervised. It's irresponsible and negligent.

Hmmm. So you sit on your front step and watch your kids at all times. What these kids hop over you to go into your house?
Sorry but I'd never let a 3 year old just play in the street. HTH.

OK - couple of scenarios to clarify things...

Just taken my 3year inside to change his shoes, my other two are playing just inside the front door - finish changing the 3year shoes and find a 10year old in the front room and a 8year old in the play-room.
Another one - take my 4year old into the bathroom to put a plaster on her knee (the 3 year old is watching TV, the 6 year old is in the garden). I finish in the bathroom and find two other young children watching TV.
Judge away!

That doesn't clarify anything. If you need to go in the house and cannot watch your children, take them with you and shut the front door! Then you won't find randoms!

It sounds like Heysham is happy with the advice she's been given, but I'm just going to add my view, because it's a bit different to what everyone else thinks. (please feel free to ignore!)

When I read the OP, I thought "oh, how lovely for your DC... How lucky they are to live near kids they enjoy playing with. And if your home stays as "the hub" you'll always know where they are".

So my suggestion would have been to confirm with your DC that they're happy for all of the children who are in and out to be there. Don't let your DC be bullied, of course. And make sure they know they can always come to you and put more boundaries in or take them away from a specific individual at any time.

I do agree it needs to work for you - that you need to set boundaries as others have said. And yes, under 5 is INCREDIBLY young to be out and about unsupervised.

But I think it sounds nice, TBH. A nice summer for your kids.

I think it would be well within your rights to get mobile numbers of parents of kids who are in your house, so you can always contact them in case of emergency.

But I do accept no one else on here feels like I do.

When you 'find' these children in your home, you say, 'Back outside, people! On you go!' and you shoo them all out.

Keep your young children in your back garden and lock your front door.

They are too young to be out roaming.

Tbh OP, it is quite easy to judge in this scenario. The set up sounds pretty reckless to me. We are talking about very young children here. 3!

It doesn't sound a nice area to me tbh. Most 8 and 10 year olds I know wouldn't just wander in to someone's house and start watching TV or playing.

They are not roaming unsupervised! What does HTH mean?

Expat nailed it.

You have 3 children. There's a little gang right there. They play in your back garden, you sit out there with them if you want. No other children have the opportune to wander in to your home without your permission. Sorted.

Then you bring them all back in, because a 4-year-old is too young to be out that front door unsupervised, and you LOCK the door behind you whilst you deal with things.

'So my suggestion would have been to confirm with your DC that they're happy for all of the children who are in and out to be there'

Yeah, because 3, 4 and 6-year-olds are really able to rationalise who should be in their home and who they are/remember names, understand what bullying is . . .

I think people are being a bit harsh on the OP.

Whats so wrong about a 6 year old playing in their own front garden? By free access the OP meant that they can play in the house or go out to the garden if they please. They are not out roaming the streets.

OP you are going to have to be firm with the kids. Just tell them to get outside and lock your doors if you are inside.

You sound like a young teen "minding" younger DC! as PPs have said, woman up, boot other people's DC out of your house and lock the door! DC don't need to be in and outside the whole time to get lots of outdoor time if you want that.

Why would a 14 year old & even a10 year old want to play with such young kids ??
Is this just at the weekend or everyday ?

It's a "coronation street" style with "tiny front garden" . I doubt the 6 year old is playing in the front garden.

Thanks again all - I may have painted a picture of my feral kids roaming the streets unchecked. It is slightly different from that! I love the fact that my kids can play outside, I don't have a back-garden, so it is lovely that they can play at the front of the house. I will make some new rules as per suggestions - I guess I just wanted some confirmation that this was the right thing to do, but I will certainly continue to encourage my kids to go outside.
Just to confirm - all my three kids are now safely inside with PJs on!