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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about leaving bagged dog poo to collect later?

171 replies

SquigglyLine · 14/06/2015 07:41

I am partially sighted and have recently (a few months ago) got my first guide dog. We have a routine where he 'spends' (i.e. poos) at home before we go out. He needs to go twice in the morning.

Occasionally he's not ready to do his second one before we set off on the school run, or occasionally needs to do an 'extra' one. It happened quite often when I first got him, but as we've settled into the routine it's only occasional - it happened last week, but hadn't happened for over a month before that.

Anyway, when that happens, I bag up the poo and leave it out of the way, up against the wall, to collect on my way home. There are no bins on the way to school (residential streets) and I can't take it into school with me. I always take careful note of where I place it (as my sight's not good enough to just notice it on the way back), and I always collect it on the way back.

On Thursday there was a dog walker coming past when I was bagging up the poo and putting it against the wall. The DC said that he stared at me and said something but they didn't hear exactly what he'd said. I didn't notice him.

On my way back, the poo bag wasn't there. I know it definitely was missing and not just me not seeing it, because DC2 was with me (not well enough to go to school but had to walk with us). I am now a bit worried that the dog walker (or someone else) thought I was just abandoning the bag!

AIBU for bagging and leaving to collect on return? It is always well out of the way tucked in where no-one would accidentally tread on it, and not left for very long.

OP posts:
SquigglyLine · 15/06/2015 12:30

For the poster upthread who asked why it is harder to carry the bag to school and back than to pick it up on the way home, I'll try and explain here. Apologies if I am being long-winded or telling you things you already know.

Working with a guide dog is quite a complicated business. You're not just holding a handle and being towed along to where you want to go. It is a business of continuous communication. As I hold the handle to the harness, I'm feeling information from my dog about where to go, and about how he's feeling/behaving. I can tell when he's a bit uncertain, or distracted or bothered by something. I can tell if he's sniffing about, or uncomfortable. Simultaneously, through the handle, he is getting information from me, about how comfortable I am, how fast I want to go, and whether I am uncertain/distracted/bothered. Or whether I've dropped the handle completely (signal to him to stop).

There is also a lead connected to my dog's collar, which I also hold. Mostly I am holding it in the same hand (left) as the harness handle, but at times I need to transfer it to my right hand (to signal my dog to turn right, or to slow down, or to calm him if he is nervous or distracted - he knows which of these things I want to do depending on the simultaneous voice command or foot position.

I also do hand signals for different commands (forward, right/left turns etc.) Again, this is simultaneous with hand positions and voice commands.

All of this takes a lot of continuous, sustained concentration on both our parts.

My dog doesn't know where I want to go, he's not a sat nav system. He might guess (or have his own opinion where I should go, i.e. park!) But I have to give him the commands at every point about when to turn. I have to concentrate hard to make sure I know where we are (how many roads we've crossed / turns we've taken etc.) I also have to decide when to cross roads (dogs cannot judge traffic) by using the remaining sight I have and listening. My dog is responsible for staying in a straight line as we cross the road and meeting the kerb straight on. I have to concentrate to make sure that I can feel if he starts veering off, and straighten him (voice command/hand signal/taking lead in right hand etc.)

All this means that tying poo bags to the harness or the lead are a no-no. The feel of something attached to the harness or lead would bother my dog and distract him from working. Similarly, me holding a poo bag in my right hand - seeing it swing about in the corner of his hand distracts him (I can't carry anything in that hand) and potentially prevents him from following signals and commands. The awkward feel of having to hold something there it would also distract me and make my movements more awkward.

On the way to school, I have my young DC with me and am responsible for their safety as well as mine and my dog's. I can't see them alongside me, so I have to maintain conversation with them in order to keep track of where they are at all times. It takes a lot of mental energy to do this as well as keep the communication channels open between me and my dog. I have inadvertently trained my DC to follow the same commands as my dog, which helps! (Stand and Wait / Forward / Stay etc!) Grin

On the way home, when it is just me, I am more able to manage the awkwardness of carrying something, and it is for a shorter time, as well. Also, my dog tends to know he is on the way home, and is more focused and needs less direction than on the way to school (which is also the same route to many other places, including the park!).

The only solution that's been offered on this thread which would work for me is to put the poo bag in my rucksack/the DCs school bags and carry it into the playground that way. This is what I am really unwilling to do, because it just feels wrong to me to take dog poo into school, and it makes me feel disgusting, and I would feel that other parents are shunning me even more than they do already. I would much rather leave it tucked away against the side of the path for 20 mins until I return.

This is only likely to happen a handful of times a year, I think maybe once every 2-3 months at most, because my dog is trained to do his business at home before we leave and I'm rigorous about his routine, so it is increasingly rare for him to need to go elsewhere.

However, I can see that the majority of posters on this thread feel it's unreasonable, so I will have to think about that, as I am already suffering a lot of general anxiety about the general public's attitude towards me and my dog.

Thanks, and particular thanks to the posters who responded empathetically, which was very kind of you.

OP posts:
SquigglyLine · 15/06/2015 12:32

Sorry! Didn't mean to write such an essay!

OP posts:
LongDistanceLove · 15/06/2015 12:51

Op in your situation you are not being unreasonable at all.

It seems as though some people have completely missed the part of your post that explains that this is a guide dog, it's not just any dog. I know this is aibu but some of these reactions are ignorant and just rude.

I second the poster who said to hide this thread, I wish you well op Flowers

CMon · 15/06/2015 12:58

OP, that's a really informative post. I've always been in awe of guide dogs and their owners and now I shall be even more so.

I'm sure almost all the posters who originally considered you to be Unreasonable will now have changed their minds. I have.

KoalaDownUnder · 15/06/2015 13:01

Thank you, OP - that was very interesting and informative.

It has also confirmed my opinion that anybody who thinks you are being unreasonable can sod off.

Fudgeface123 · 15/06/2015 13:06

I think YABU, if you can pick it up then there's no reason whatsoever you can't take it with you until you find a bin. Tie it to the dog's lead, your bag, one of the kids bags, it can't weigh that much.

Guide Dog's poo still gets stuck in shoes, on pram and wheelchair wheels, it's not special poo.

You asked if you were being U, I think you are.

Completely different matter if you couldn't pick it up.

KoalaDownUnder · 15/06/2015 13:12

Fudgeface123 - have you actually RTFT?!?

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 15/06/2015 13:14

The only solution that's been offered on this thread which would work for me is to put the poo bag in my rucksack/the DCs school bags and carry it into the playground that way. This is what I am really unwilling to do, because it just feels wrong to me to take dog poo into school, and it makes me feel disgusting, and I would feel that other parents are shunning me even more than they do already. I would much rather leave it tucked away against the side of the path for 20 mins until I return.

Washed peanut butter jar & put it in the rucksack?

TBH, the above is just due to personal preference - you don't want to put it in your pack or pocket.

If I'm out walking & know the poo bin is a while away it goes in my pocket.

Sometimes I find it there the next day!!

I get really hacked off watching the same old bags of shit slowly fall to pieces day after day - if I saw you doing it I'm afraid I'd say something, you could then update me, but I'd probably do what the person in your OP did & take it away....

KoalaDownUnder · 15/06/2015 13:14

if you can pick it up then there's no reason whatsoever you can't take it with you until you find a bin

Nope, no reason at all. Hmm

Are you serious?

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 15/06/2015 13:15

It has also confirmed my opinion that anybody who thinks you are being unreasonable can sod off.

Having stated my point of view & having no interest in debating with you, I shall gladly sod off!! Grin

Fudgeface123 · 15/06/2015 13:19

I have read the full thread yes and I stand by my comments. OP has picked up the dog poo, surely it can go in a bag or a pocket until she finds a bin/gets home. I carry a small bag with me with poo bags, a ball and treats in it, if I'm not near a bin I'll double bag and put the poo in there until I get home.

catsrus · 15/06/2015 13:19

people who are registered blind, as you are, are not required to pick up after their guide dogs OP. picking up is causing you huge stress, I would suggest not doing it. Can you steer the dog to the curb when you know he has to go to the loo? Before picking up became law we were always told to train ours to go in the gutter where it would get washed into the sewers. I had one dog that would only go to the loo between two parked cars!

If anyone says anything to you then it would be great if you felt confident enough to say something like "as you probably know, guide dog owners are exempt from picking up poo because we can't see it. I do have a spare plastic bag you could use if you wanted to do it though?"

I'm sorry you feel there are negative reactions to the dog from people you meet - I'm shocked to be honest, I've only ever come across positive views about the amazing work all assistance dogs do.

Do you think it would be helpful for someone to offer to pick up for you? knowing that you might get some stupid negative comments makes me inclined to offer should I ever see a guide dog going to the loo in the street. Is it something people with guide dogs generally worry about?

catsrus · 15/06/2015 13:21

you clearly didn't read the OPs explanation of how she needs both hand to control the dog though fudgface. The exemption to the law exists for this very reason.

KoalaDownUnder · 15/06/2015 13:22

I carry a small bag with me with poo bags, a ball and treats in it, if I'm not near a bin I'll double bag and put the poo in there until I get home.

Yes, good for you. But you're not blind, are you? Confused

Fudgeface123 · 15/06/2015 13:23

I did read it catsrus and I think if OP can pick up the poo then surely it can just be popped into a bag as easily as it can be popped on the floor?

CrohnicallyInflexible · 15/06/2015 13:26

Thank you for explaining so clearly why it makes a difference whether you are going to/from school.

I have to admit, I thought you could just tell a guide dog where to go and if they'd been there before, they would know! (Think I got that idea from the book Emma by Sheila Hocken)

I also hadn't thought about the mental strain of keeping track of dog, children, where you are etc. only about the physical aspect.

I know posters on here often get fed up of raising awareness and educating others about disabilities or SNs. So thanks for taking the time to write that post.

And for what it's worth- from now on if I see a guide dog owner out and about carrying a poo bag, I'll ask if they want me to take it to the bin for them!

Fudgeface123 · 15/06/2015 13:29

No Koala, I'm not blind you're right.

I live in a house with a footpath down one side which leads to fields, nearly every morning I have to remove full poo bags from my garden...are they coming back for them?

I appreciate the OP is blind but she's able to pick up the poo which she does, I just don't understand why that poo can't be placed in a bag on her person? Surely that would be easier than trying to place it on the floor?

KoalaDownUnder · 15/06/2015 13:32

I just don't understand why that poo can't be placed in a bag on her person? Surely that would be easier than trying to place it on the floor?

Right, so you haven't read the update on this page?

Fudgeface123 · 15/06/2015 13:35

Yes I've read the update.

KoalaDownUnder · 15/06/2015 13:40

So because a bunch of unrelated people leave poo bags in your garden, you think the OP, in her special circumstances, is unreasonable to leave a poo bag up against a wall on the odd occasion for half an hour?

TheSortingCat · 15/06/2015 13:46

That was a really interesting description of working with a guide dog, OP. I hadn't thought about how much mutual communication and concentration there is.

Ignore the previous posters who have given you a hard time - you are not doing anything wrong by dealing with the dog poo as you have been. (And hopefully it will happen less and less as the dog settles into life with you.)

Also, on the anxiety about how other people perceive you front - one of my colleagues has a guide dog and I never thought anything much about it at all. I am used to him coming to meetings with his dog and no-one thinks or talks about it (the dog settles down and sits quietly/naps when we are actually having the meeting).

I certainly don't think badly of people who have guide dogs, and now I know how much work goes into it, I'll probably only be thinking about that! Smile

Fudgeface123 · 15/06/2015 13:46

Koala you are entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to mine.

BrendaBlackhead · 15/06/2015 13:47

I encountered the thorny (or smelly) etiquette problem of a man with a big boxer stopping me as I had just scooped up a big pile of poo. He charmingly offered to take my poo with him as he was headed to the poo bin and I didn't want to be carrying that around with me. It was very nice of him, but I live in dread of seeing him again as I don't want to have to carry a big bag of boxer poo around with me to return the favour...

I know that the OP is obviously not in this category, but we were told at dog training class that walking a dog to school (to kill two birds with one stone) is not fair on the dog or the kids. Some people don't like dogs, some dogs don't like people or are tempted to jump up, and in the morning especially it's not unlikely that the dog will feel the need to do a poo on the way there and there is no option but for the bag of smelly poo to be dangled on a wrist along with a bookbag.

SoupDragon · 15/06/2015 13:51

there is no option but for the bag of smelly poo to be dangled on a wrist along with a bookbag.

When I take SoupDogg out, I have a plastic box in my dog walking bag that I can put the poo bag in. Far better than swinging it in one hand :)

SoupDragon · 15/06/2015 13:55

On a completely different note, I can't tell you how disappointed i was with "My dog doesn't know where I want to go, he's not a sat nav system"

Whilst knowing it couldn't possibly be true, I always want to believe you tell a guide dog where you want to go and they lead you there.