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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to do a massive u-turn on the kissing your DCs on the lips debate.

21 replies

Bumpandkind · 13/06/2015 08:15

I used to stand very firmly in the 'it's weird' camp and said I'd never kiss my Ds on the lips. Now he's an affectionate little toddler I don't always have much say in the matter as he likes to plant a great smacker on my lips and follows them if I turn my cheek to him..... And it doesn't feel odd at all! I come from a very loving family but we don't really show or vocalise it. E.g my parents would never say I love you to me, my siblings or our children but there's no doubt they do.

OP posts:

afreshstartplease · 13/06/2015 08:16

Why on earth would it be weird

2catsfighting · 13/06/2015 08:18

how lovely that you are publicly announcing this! I know I had all sorts of preconceived ideas about lots of things before I became a parent, and had change forced upon me!

Original poster

Bumpandkind · 13/06/2015 08:35

freshstart because if you have only seen kissing on the lips and experienced kissing on the lips as part of a sexual relationship it can be quite an adjustment!

OP posts:

lostindubai · 13/06/2015 08:39

Toddler kisses on the lips are awesome! Glad you're enjoying it.

CasperGutman · 13/06/2015 08:45

I'm right with you, Bumpandkind. My just-turned-three-year-old will tell me off if I kiss him on the cheek - "no Daddy, on my lips!"

It's a sad reflection on society's attitude to gender roles and children that I seriously considered not posting this as it seemed somehow "wrong".

RufusTheReindeer · 13/06/2015 08:48

Weirdest thing I think I've ever said was

"No tongues when you kiss mummy"

So wrong

Both boys still kiss me on the lips, they are 12 and 16

SophieHatters · 13/06/2015 08:50

Its nice but I am always wary of people doing it with a cold sore. We've been lucky so far not to get those but if I did, I would tend to avoid this.

Wishful80smontage · 13/06/2015 08:50

You can't beat a big smacker on the lips from your little one best feeling in the world when she gives me a kiss and says 'I love you mama' :)

ShiftyFades · 13/06/2015 08:50

Oh a big smacker on the lips is brilliant, I'm glad you've seen the light. It's just affection, never shy away from it.

ScarlettDarling · 13/06/2015 08:53

Yes, nothing beats a big sloppy smacker from your little people! Apart from when they're, erm...flavoured! Tomato sauce and fish finger kisses not so good although I like the chocolate ones!

silverglitterpisser · 13/06/2015 08:56

Nothing better than a big smoochy, moochy, sloppy number from ur toddler . Enjoy them, OP.

mrschatty · 13/06/2015 08:56

My family have always been loving but lip kissing moved to cheeks around my teenage years naturally

DH family on the other hand are BIG LIP KISSERS. I met DH when he was 23 and even now kisses his mum and dad goodbye and it's just not weird with them! His family also had a v open healthy sexual attitude and I think that helped to separate loving family kisses to anything 'dirty' because to them there is no dirty in the sexy! Liberating!

roundtable · 13/06/2015 09:24

I understand op.

I'm from a family that does not show affection through touch. We have upgraded to hugs to leaving and it's an awkward pat on the back from my dad accompanied by a cheek pressed to the top of my head. I think that's his version of a kiss.

I found families kissing each other on the lips weird and revolting. My parents had always said it was something couples do which I now know was a croc of shit.

Since having my own dc I've realised it's not weird at all, neither is telling your children you love them.

I do feel sorry for my parents though, they are trying to become more affectionate, it's just not natural to them. My dh comes from a very affectionate family and bounds straight up to my mum and gives her a kiss, not on the lips though, and a cuddle. She was shocked but now she's waiting with her arms open. She loves it!

I have once seen a grown woman sitting on her dad's lap, his hand tucked into the top of her trousers, her arms around his neck giving repeated kisses on the lips. I still find that weird because it is.

LaBette001 · 13/06/2015 09:44

My nearly 4yo DS loves to kiss me over and over again on the lips when I'm drying him after the shower; it's lovely but after a while I have to ask him to stop as it can go on forever. The other thing he does when he's holding my hand is kiss up my arm like men did to women in old movies!

Mind you all that affection is liberally peppered with Hulk Smashing and fighting too. I've spent a lot of time over the last few months as a "She Hulk" locked in combat with him.

So it all balances out in the end

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 13/06/2015 09:53

I'm 41 and still kiss both my parents on the lips, it never occurred to me that someone would find it weird - they are my parents for goodness sake! They made me, they reared me and they supported me, I'll be damned if someone else's misconceptions alter how we say good bye.

Anyway, toddler smackers are the best, I got a few this morning and it makes for a lovely start of the day.

Fugghetaboutit · 13/06/2015 10:07

I still kiss my mum and dad on lips at 29, who gives a fart.

SingingSands · 13/06/2015 10:17

Oh I love a big lip smacker kiss! I do it to the kids, DH, my parents, my friends, DH's friends. My dad virtually crushes me with a bear hug and a big smacker when he sees me (only a few times a year).

We don't do this with DH's family though. No no no. VERY reserved. So we respect that and graze hands lightly instead!

Our DS has a peculiar quirk that he's had since tiny - two kisses. It's his thing. Two lip kisses in quick succession when saying goodbye at school or goodnight or whenever. You can't get away with one ever, the call of "two kisses!" follows you and you go back for more

fiveacres · 13/06/2015 10:18

I find it rank so I don't do it. Don't care what other people do although I prefer them not to do it in front of me.

EponasWildDaughter · 13/06/2015 10:27

Lip kissing DCs here too. Four DDs - 22, 20, 17 and 16 months They are all quite huggy too.

It just happened naturally. Members of my family and my XHs are not touchy feely at all, and i hated being told to ''kiss Auntie so and so'' when i was young, so never pushed this sort of rubbish on them. However i was and am always very tactile with them as their mum and i think it's just continuing on now as the older ones are quite touchy feely adults.

DH (the older 3's step dad) says it always makes him laugh to see them swoop straight in for a hug and kiss on the lips when leaving.

littlejohnnydory · 13/06/2015 10:37

I don't like it. I'm very affectionate with my children but it wouldn't feel appropriate to me to kiss them on the lips. I tell them I love them all the time though and we're very cuddly as a family.

Dreamiesrcatopium · 13/06/2015 11:10

I kiss all my family on the lips. I'm 36. My best friend and I do it too. Never occured to me it was anything but a normal affectionate thing to do. DH's family are lip kissers too I think? Its not something I have taken notice of.. They are huggy so probably. Theyre coming over in a bit I shall take note

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