To feign illness to duck out of special family party

[PearTree201]

I'm 6wks pregnant and it's my SIL's 40th birthday party coming up. They're having it at their house.

No one knows (about me being pregnant) and I want to keep it quiet for a few weeks yet. I'm not feeling the best and it would definitely raise suspicions if I turned down a drink as I have never been known to do this before!!

I don't particularly want it coming out at the party since we'll be celebrating her special day and because we want to wait a while. But my DSis will be upset and probably annoyed if we don't turn up to SIL's party.

WIBU to pull a sickie or any suggestions of how I could hide this??

Could you make up a reason for taking antibiotics? That seems to be what some people use as an excuse

Can't you be the designated driver?

Yeah just go and tell them you're on ABs for an abscess or something.

Go. Pretend to accept drinks but really just hold the the same one for several hours of pass it off to you partner every so often.

Could you accept a drink when you arrive and pretend to sip at it through the evening? Will anyone be tracking what you're drinking once they've all had a couple? After a while leave it somewhere and if anyone asks if you want one, just say 'I've got one thanks, I just put it down over there.'

I would go with pretending to accept drinks. No one watches. The antibiotics would be a dead giveaway.

I always just said oh it's ok, I'll get a drink later, offered to get drinks for everyone or DH went for them.

That way I could pretend I was drinking vodka and a mixer without suspicion.

Good luck with the pregnancy! x

I'd also go with the stealth drinking approach. If you come across someone acting like drink police just tell them that you already have a drink and every so often sneak of to the bathroom or offer it to someone who is empty-handed.

The AB excuse is pretty much the excuse of the century regardless of what a person would be trying to cover up. And problem with being the designated driver is that you could in theory have a drink without being over the limit. So just use the driving excuse together with some collusion with your DH.

"I've got a raging hangover, I'm going to have a coke now and then I'll have a proper drink afterwards" is a good excuse. By the time you've drank the coke, no one will notice that you're not on the booze.

What's your usual tipple?

Fake drinking is the way to go. No-one is paying that much attention really.

Just wet your lips if there are setpiece toasts. A few tiny sips really won't cause harm.

I'm liking the stealth drinking idea

I have already given this some thought... I have an empty pinot bottle that I was going to fill with non alcoholic wine and take that along with an actual bottle of pinot. Drink the non alcoholic wine and then by the time I go onto the hard stuff no one will notice when I stealthily pour it away or disappear to the toilet with it...

I agree the antibiotics thing wouldn't work.. I think not accepting a drink would set off alarm bells no matter what excuse I give.

I was secretly hoping you'd all say it's fine not to go but I accept that's not the right thing to do, I'm just not looking forward to being surrounded by all the drunken merriment while I'll be feeling dog rough and concerned about not blowing my cover!

I'd either go with stealth drinking or acquire a fake illness a few days before, saying then you think you might be too sick to go, then "struggle along" on the day (without any make up on so you look a bit shit) and refuse drink, quietly saying to Dsis that you still aren't right but didn't want to miss SIL's 40th, but really aren't recovered etc. this also means you can leave early.

say you've had a migraine earlier in the day and you're not drinking in case it comes back then you can leave early cos the migraine came back....!

The one time I had a urinary tract infection and was on antibiotics (and strict instructions not to drink alcohol anyway as it's acidic and makes your pee even more painful) everyone kept asking me if I was pregnant. Really annoying since I didn't really want to share about my infection, but if you're not shy you could go with the UTI excuse!

When people give lots of excuses, thats when its obvious. Simply accept a drink and hold it in your hand, nobody pays attention to whether you are actually drinking it.

You can drink on almost all antibiotics, the minute any woman throws that one around they might as well just shout that they are pregnant.

Buy a bottle of wine, screw top if poss. Empty it out and rinse out. Fill with non alcoholic wine and take to the party. No one will be any the wiser

I did this last year. I could never say I wasn't drinking, so we decanted some alcohol-free wine into a bottle and I drank from that. It was a bit touch and go when my brother poured himself a glass and almost spat it out as it was so vile lol but we got away with it!

There is genuinely one antibiotic where you can't drink. I had a southern comfort and lemonade while on metronidazole a couple of years ago and was so poorly as a result of it I thought I was going to end up in hospital.

I'd go with the "fake drinking" excuse though.

Antibiotics is code for pregnant. DH has had the snip and people who know this still assume I'm pregnant if not drinking. Stealth drinking but not the alco free bottle as someone else will try it and old felix will be out of the bag. what do you both usually drink?

I normally drink wine, DP drinks beer then goes onto vodka. I drink vodka too which is easy to disguise as a soft drink but not so easy when everyone is hovering in the kitchen and pouring you drinks or when I'm trying to not poor vodka into my glass.

Hopefully everyone will be too steaming to notice what I'm doing..

Worried about the non alcoholic wine now in the normal wine bottle! There aren't many other wine drinkers, mainly my DSis who normally sticks to her own then goes onto vodka.

I'd go with the raging cystitis excuse

Go. Have half a glass of wine with you at all times. Just don't drink it. The half a glass is essential; people don't necessarily top you up, and it's noticeable if you always have a full glass.

People will notice less than you think.

Go with the migraine - or hangover, if everyone knows you don't get migraines. Claiming to have a 'bug' might freak out anyone with a delicate immune system (especially if anyone else is also a few weeks pregnant and keeping it quiet )

Half glass is the way forward.

A friend of mine got her DH to fill up brown beer bottles (she always drank Budweiser) with water.

Have a glass of wine in your hand. Periodically get your dh to out some in his glass or pour a bit into a flowerbed. Nobody will know you aren't drinking as you have a drink in your hand!