Phrases/sayings that irrationally annoy the life out of you

[Candycoco]

I cannot stand it when someone is asking about what to use in a certain situation, and people say "... [Such and such] is your friend" argh I hate that!

Or when people describe something as their "go-to" product .

Don't know why but I just hate those phrases! Anyone else ?!

People on the X Factor who plead that this their 'last chance' to make it in the music world. No it isn't, you're 22 you doofus!

People on FB who brag about how they've 'blitzed' the house 'from top to bottom'.

Anyone on FB who asks rhetorically - "Cheeky glass of wine?" Then adds: "Don't mind if I do!" Well I mind if you're going to talk like that!!!

People who say 'his' when they mean 'he's' - I've seen that a lot online.

"I'm just a big kid me!"

"I'm just being honest!"

"Sorry I'm a bit late". Either apologise or don't.

"It is what it is" - what else would it be?
"Call him/her out on it" - call them out? On it? Makes no sense whatsoever to me.
"Nom nom" - what is that even supposed to be?
"Utterly" - overused, and, often incorrectly, used.

"Loves ya" - why not just say "love you"? Even my mum has started saying/typing this and it makes me cringe.

Words such as: emosh, totes, adorbs, awks etc. Full grown adults should be banned from using these words.

People telling you "these things happen" or similar when something awful happens.

Any Facebook status with a hundred emoticons
Inbox ya after posting something cryptic and attention seeking
My bad
Sexy lil man when referring to their own son
Cheeky as in cheeky cocktail / beer etc ... Urgh
Range instead of range rover
Loves ya
Love you all the world.... Wtf
Love you to the moon and back
Love you all the world and a penny
My girlies

God there's loads .. bound to think of more

I really hate it when people are on a rant, and say 'Because (a) blah blah blah blah.......' You're left hanging on, waiting for the next point in their argument, and (b) never arrives. There is no (b). If you are going to talk in bullet points - which is bloody pretentious in speech anyway, outside a lecture theatre - at least (a) make sure you label them correctly, (b) have more than one point to make and (c) make sure they're clear points not inane drivel.

I hate the emoticon.

"luffs" - yuk

Boak - yuk

Take a chill pill. So many reasons why this irritates the living fuck out of me.