Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To speak to the housing association about my neighbour.

123 replies

livedtotellthetale · 08/06/2015 11:36

I live in a small block of 5 flats, have lived there for 5 years they were new build when I moved in. 3/4 of the flats are private and our 1/4 housing association, about 3 months ago a new neighbour moved in opposite me a young man aged about middle 20s, first thing that worried me is that he has a fairly big dog in the flat (pets are not meant to be allowed) but it hasn't caused me any issues as noise smell its not aggressive and he seems to care for the dog and love it and we have plenty of palks nearby that he takes it for walks. So I have just left it.
he now has put a big union jack out on his balcony plus a big stuffed toy (that looks like his dog) that stay on the balcony, we aren't allowed washing etc on the balcony's, it looks terrible and really makes the flats look bad, also its a really multicultural area and feel it could be seen in the wrong way. Also this is my concern me and my dd have seen young boys aged about 10 11 coming from his flat and him saying if you want to visit the dog come any time, I am not assuming anything bad is happening but it just doesn't fee right.
I have spoken to him briefly a couple of times just neighbour hello asked about the dog etc and get the impression he might have leaning difficulties or some other problems. I don't know what to do, would you raise these concerns or just but out.

OP posts:
Original poster
livedtotellthetale · 08/06/2015 12:29

And its in the buildings manual (not just the housing association rules) I think I will leave it for the time being or mention it in passing when next speaking to H/A

OP posts:
cosmicglittergirl · 08/06/2015 12:29

I can see why you wouldn't like the flag and stuffed dog, it looks shit, but I wouldn't personally say or do anything about it. I'd be more concerned about children hanging around in an adult's flat. If you have any reason to be worried about that, that would be certainly be worth a mention.

TwinkieTwinkle · 08/06/2015 12:31

I understand that OP but why are you worried about it being a Union Jack? That's what I don't get.

SistersofPercy · 08/06/2015 12:33

Most HA's will have something in their tenancy agreement about flags not being allowed. It's more to do with the odd unhinged tenant who would use them to harass neighbours or to make a statement so if you contact the HA they should make him remove it.

That said, I'm very much in the 'live and let live' camp.

SunnyBaudelaire · 08/06/2015 12:33

well it depends where the OP lives re the Union Flag.
Our next door neighbours put one up during world cup, quite honestly it was downright offensive as we live in deepest rural Wales...
In South Wales or England or London I would not see the problem.

TwinkieTwinkle · 08/06/2015 12:37

sunny why did the Union Jack offend you in Wales? It is the flag of the UK, not England. Confused

cosmicglittergirl · 08/06/2015 12:37

OP said it's a multicultural area: Union Jack flags have long been associated with BNP and the like. I'm guessing that's what she's worried about.

hedgehogsdontbite · 08/06/2015 12:38

There are rules about putting flags up. It's not allowed in lots of places/circumstances. National flags are now exempt though, precisely because of a case like the OP's. A council stopped tenants doing this, there was an outcry, and the law was changed to protect people's rights to put their flags out.

MissJoMarch · 08/06/2015 12:39

DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO HIM ABOUT THE FLAG. Ok?!

If I were in your shoes, I'd be pretty wary by now. Bloody big dog, patriotic flag waving & unaccompanied minors? I live in a world where drug dealers, child theft rings and general crappy behaviour are a reality.

Keep your head down, if something else happens call housing association but don't for gods sake talk about wanting faults looking 'naice' it just weakens the legitimacy of another other complaint

TwinkieTwinkle · 08/06/2015 12:39

They have longer been associated with the Union. BNP hijack our country's flag and because of that tiny minority the majority shouldn't hang it? No. Just no.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 08/06/2015 12:40

How are 1/4 of 5 flats HA?

SunnyBaudelaire · 08/06/2015 12:40

yeh thanks I know that twinkie.
If you knew our village, you would know why it was offensive, flag of the linguistic oppressor etc. Plus Wales is not represented on it, only England, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

SunnyBaudelaire · 08/06/2015 12:40

but yes I agree with you, let the haters have the St Georges flag if they want one.

TwinkieTwinkle · 08/06/2015 12:41

sunny is your neighbour not welsh? Did they move there from England or something?

The5DayChicken · 08/06/2015 12:42

He's obviously not to fussed about the HA rules if he's keeping a dog when he's not supposed to so there's no reason he'd be bothered about being told the flag is against rules.

I think it's a bit sad that a man showing national pride makes you nervous. And a bit sad that him having children over obviously makes you uncomfortable.

But, being in a HA flat myself (coincidentally, I also have a neighbour with a secret dog), I can just about relate to not wanting your home seen in a scruffy setting.

If it really bothers you that much, I'd suggest reporting the dog, not the flag. My HA wouldn't lift a finger about a flag (against rules or not) but would pay a visit about the dog. And they'd see the flag when they visited. And if he ends up having to get rid of the dog, the children are likely to stop visiting.

It's underhanded and pretty nasty. I don't agree with it myself as I don't really think this man is doing anything that should either concern or bother you. But if you are genuinely concerned about the children visiting and desperately want the flag removed, that'd sort it.

SunnyBaudelaire · 08/06/2015 12:42

yes exactly twinkie....they moved up from Kent...

TwinkieTwinkle · 08/06/2015 12:43

Ok, I understand now. Was slightly confused. Apologies Sunny.

SunnyBaudelaire · 08/06/2015 12:46

no problem twinkie, I should have been clearer!

isntthatafont · 08/06/2015 12:49

Live and let live.

Also, if he's just a patriotic chap and someone "takes it the wrong way", you should take exception to them, not him.

Icimoi · 08/06/2015 13:01

Why do people say he is flying a flag? Surely he would only be doing that if he had put a flagpole up, and I think if he had done that OP would have mentioned it - plus it would certainly have needed permission from the building owners. What I suspect he is doing is draping a large flag over the balcony, which is no different to draping a sheet which seems to be forbidden. However, in your shoes I wouldn't report that to the HA, they will probably find out for themselves.

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 08/06/2015 13:03

YABU. I hate it when flats have rules about not hanging washing out 'because some small minded people think it doesn't look nice'.

Where the fuck are people supposed to dry their washing? Inside and it takes up space and causes damp and tumble dryers ruin clothes, cost money and are environmentally wasteful.

And so what if he has stuff on his balcony - stop looking at it if it offends you. As others have said, England must be the only country in the world afraid to fly our flag for fear of appearing racist (yes I know it's a Union flag that the neighbour has not an England one, but no-one ever complains about the Scots or Welsh flying their flags, just the English).

You may be reasonable to complain about the dog if it is causing a nuisance or not being looked after/walked properly, but it doesn't sound like it is the case, and if the dog is taken away from him, it just leads to another homeless dog, when there are far too many anyway.

Original poster
livedtotellthetale · 08/06/2015 13:08

The five flats are housing association plus one bigger block opposite me, Then there are more private blocks the other end, the private and housing association flats are not mixed up. I have lived there for 5 years and had a some noise from neighbours, other neighbours have pets ect and never complained or been concerned and let bygones be bygones, I live with two teenage DDs who must have pissed the neighbours off in time. But some thing doesn't feel right about this neighbour, but think I will leave it for now.

OP posts:
Wiggywam · 08/06/2015 13:24

Op it sounds as if you have it in for your new neighbour. If the dog and flag are against the rules then you could report, but as you specifically they are not causing any issue (other than the flag being unsightly) I would leave well alone.

How you feel about this man really doesn't matter, he is your neighbour, not your husband.

TwinkieTwinkle · 08/06/2015 13:38

now we're at the crux of your problem. The flag, dog etc are an excuse for you because something doesn't feel right but you don't know why.

InstitutionCode · 08/06/2015 13:47

I live in a very multicultural area and the place is awash during the World Cup. Most people of immigrant stock fly the Union Flag and their home country's but there's no doubting where their loyalties lie for those few weeks. Although I too have no idea why the Union Flag would be offensive in Wales.

It is the Women's WC ATM, maybe it will only be there for a week or two.

I wouldn't like the flag either, unless it's for a specific short-term reason and that is probably easily dealt with. As is the dog, although as it's not bothering you, the pleasure it's bringing is worth turning a blind eye to.

The boys, I would worry about. It is probably all innocent, but at the very least, I'd try and find out if their parent's know they're visiting. Too many terrible things have been allowed to happen because it was no-one's business.

Swipe left for the next trending thread