To ask how often you and your DH/DP fall out

[downthekingsway]

Mine seems to be at least twice a week and then he sulks after so unless I sort it out it seems like we are always fallen out :(

Well, those of us in reasonably happy and stable relationships aren't going to be posting that, are we? A soap opera based on mty family would be very uninteresting.

ha - yes mine too Hag. Very little drama round our gaff and that's the way we like to keep it. In fact my whole family and DH's are pretty much drama free. It's lovely. Some people's lives sound exhausting.

thegreylady your relationship sounds much like ours. My first marriage was fireworks and drama all over the place - very stressful and absolutely not sustainable in the long term. we were very young though - I think that accounts for an awful lot. Thankfully we put one another out of our misery before we had any children. Most of us grow out of volatile relationship and realise that they are utterly exhausting, demoralising and pointless. i feel sorry for the ones who never reach that realisation - what a way to live.

Yes, I'm another one who had a volatile relationship with lots of fights when I was young (18 to 2 1) followed by a happy stable marriage.

My 20 yo DS has just split with his GF of 2.5 years and they were like this - thank God they saw sense before they had a baby. He was really upset at first and wanted her back, but once he became accustomed to not having her there out of habit and insecurity he realised he was happier than he had been in ages and it's like a massive weight lifted from his shoulders. I think people become codependent even if they know it's not healthy and have a fear of being on their own.

Lovely to see so many harmonious partnerships

Once in 23yrs.

I was annoyed at something, & called him a sanctimonious git.

Then we burst out laughing.

That was it.

One a month! I have a vile temper for one week every month, even at the time I know I'm being ridiculous, but there is nothing I can do to make it stop

Very rarely, if we go to sleep and I'm still angry I always wake up in the night and nudge to apologise, followed by breakfast in bed in the morning.

We've only ever had a big falling out a few times.

We argue and bicker constantly, mostly light hearted grumbling which is soon forgotten/made up

We do both get quite aerated on certain subjects and will have the odd spirited debates where insults including 'poo head' are flung around

I'm a bit hot tempered, he just says "yes dear"

Very very rarely

My exH was a sulker. It is a vile tactic to use. And it means that nothing EVER gets resolved.

He needs to address this and stop or you will be miserable

Sulking is passive aggressive and immature.

I think the best thing to do is never to reward sulking with extra attention. Just ignore it and pretend you haven't noticed the sulking.

We've only ever had two or three "rows" in 15 years. We might have cross words occasionally, perhaps once every couple of months.

I hate to say it OP but your situation doesn't sound like a recipe for a good solid relationship.

Once a month or so- about the state of the kitchen?

When we first moved in together it was a lot more- u think it's quite a big adjustment- so if otherwise things are good, things settle down...

We snap at each other sometimes but only really argue maybe every two years. I grew up in a house with loads of conflict and it was awful and I'd hate to inflict that on my own kids.

We are happy bumbling along together so not many arguments here - never a row - though I do remember once saying coldly "Don't talk AT me like that, I don't like it" about 15 years ago... All the more memorable for being infrequent.

We bicker, mainly because dh can be really lazy and has been known to act like a great big man child. We've got a one year old and the changes to our routine and roles at home have been challenging to say the least, but where there's been tension it's mainly been because resentment has built up about the way one of us behaved. Sometimes the bickering escalates into raised voices (usually if I think he's done something stupid), and occasionally a full on argument. There's never any sulking though, I can't let things fester if we argue in the evening, even if it means a late night working things out.

We have however just come out of one of the roughest points in our (long) relationship, where we both allowed various niggles to build up and inferred things that weren't meant, or snapped at really little things. For that reason I'd say to the op that it could be really beneficial to work out a way for you both to sort out his sulking now, as lingering issues/gripes underpinning a relationship can easily build up over time and could become quite toxic and start to affect the way you deal with future arguments/disagreements/bickering.

Regularly, but not seriously. Never about anything major - we agree on the big stuff in our lives, but he always leaves the kitchen in a mess, and he is inexplicably a member of the Liberal Democrats, with a tendency to be patronising and pompous on occasion which gives me the rage.

Never any sulking for more than about 10 mins - we always have way too much to say too each other. Never go to bed mad with each other (we always stay up.and fight, ha ha). I think it's good for the DCs to see that we don't always agree about everything, but that a bit of 'debate' isn't alarming and doesn't change how much we love each other.

We bicker four days out of seven. Proper argument every fortnight or so.

We have a big argument few times a month and silly bickers every other day. We are fine but both just sparky, opinionated but sensitive people and have completely open relationship in terms of communication and sharing everything which can lead to rows. OP- if this is in the minority and the other time you are content, don’t listen to those who say its not healthy etc., all relationships are very different so can be annoying when those who don’t ever argue try to paint those couples that do as being really odd/ unhealthy. Most of my friends who are very honest and upfront share that they also argue pretty frequently, but make up pretty soon after too.

thistime sounds identical!

We've been together 14 years and had about 3(?) major rows in that time. Rest of the time it's absolutely fine, we might snap or bicker occasionally but not that often, if I was rowing every week then the relationship wouldn't be working for me.

Very infrequently. I also grew up in a house where my parents would have a blazing row when I went to bed and I would lie there listening to it which isn't particularly nice. I can't stand sulking though, would much rather have it out and then make up.

Looks like arguing and bickering itself is not even such an issue - if both people are happy to do it. DH's first marriage was a very explosive one as well - the trouble is that he hates arguing, and his ex hated that he didn't react. We are much more compatible and hopefully ex will also find someone who enjoys regularly 'clearing the air', so to speak.

I don't think we've ever fallen out. Been together 8 yrs for context. We do have the odd snap at each other or periods where we are both so busy/tired we are like ships in the night but we don't have rows (yet).