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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

The toiletries bag (light hearted)

157 replies

ollieplimsoles · 06/06/2015 18:23

A stand- off is happening in my house.

I was unpacking the shopping in the kitchen when we came home and all the bath/ shower things were in the one Morrisons bag. I asked him to 'take this bag of toiletries to the bathroom'. He did, when I went upstairs however I chuckled to myself to see that he had simply put the large bag down on the floor of the bathroom and not actually unpacked it (classic DH). I told him I thought it was funny and that he should have unpacked it. He replied with 'you never asked me to unpack it.

Over the following days the bag has remained on the floor, only DH has taken what he needs out of it as he needed it! So I started doing the same! Now only a few items remain in the carrier bag that has been on the floor for almost two weeks.

Dh won't move it because...he doesn't want to. and I won't because I unpacked all he other bits of shopping!

We are both well aware of the bag and tension around it is building, who will crack first? I know I didn't tell him to unpack it, but who leaves a shopping bag unpacked on the floor!

AIBU to ask for your similar stand- off stories?

OP posts:

Sgtmajormummy · 08/06/2015 10:01

Hello Lettherebecupcakes. We live in a very small flat and keep out-of-season clothes boxed up in inaccessible places. Wardrobe changeover time is when Summer is finally here and we get rid of bulky clothes. 38 degrees on Saturday, so the time had come.
But yes, we do have a wardrobe each.

upthegardenpath · 08/06/2015 10:25

RackofPeas - sheer brilliance!

shovetheholly · 08/06/2015 10:45

My DH is a diamond, pulls more than his weight around the house and garden, and is endlessly supportive.

He cannot, however, turn the TV off at the switch rather than leaving it on standby. It is genuinely that he simply cannot hold in his mind the need to do it.

He also pulls jumpers, tops etc out of the neatly-stacked piles, scattering clothes everywhere.

I, however, have a habit of leaving tissues in the washing, with predictable results. And I am also terrible at putting the hoover away. I get it out, hoover, but I don't put it away again. I have no idea why.

Fortunately, we are both pretty good at compensating for each other in these particulars!

BadgersBum · 08/06/2015 10:59

I have discovered, since being married, that I am better than everyone else in the house at getting the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. Win that one everytime!

DH brought the recycling down from the bathroom yesterday (toothpaste box from when he'd admitted defeat and got a new one out, toilet roll tubes etc.), without being asked, wonder what he wants?

TheOddity · 08/06/2015 11:26

We have a beer bottle stand off. DH brewed his own beer and I said I thought it was a great idea but I won't be cleaning the bottles because I hate that job and I am not getting the benefit of the beer because I am pregnant. What happens? Every morning when morning sickness is at its peak, I have to look at a beer bottle he has left to "soak" in the sink. Day 2, 2 bottles, day 3, 3 bottles. You get the picture. I don't cave though, I let them pile up on the counter in a neat row. It annoys me way more than him though . In fact I might starting chucking the bottles on day 3....

LetThereBeCupcakes · 08/06/2015 11:27

Osquito · 08/06/2015 11:37

This thread has made me so, so, so very happy because I thought it was just my household...

Recently an empty bag of Doritos lived on the (otherwise bare and tidy) kitchen counter for nearly 3 weeks. I cleaned around it every day, but was determined not to give in and throw it away because I am not a bloody maid. DP did eventually get rid of it, not sure if he realised I was fuming or if he just suddenly noticed he had left rubbish on the counter THREE WEEKS AGO.

I also do not wash any dirty laundry that isn't in the basket. It simply does not exist to me.

cjt110 · 08/06/2015 11:42

we regularly have bin-gate. He will just keep ramming stuff in the kitchen bin rather than empty. On occasions out of spite principle i do then same, then ask him to empty the bin and smirk am astonished when the bin liner has ripped and he has to struggle!

Tinklewinkle · 08/06/2015 11:48

Oh, we have bin gate too.

We have a kitchen bin with a handle that always gets in the way when you empty it and as DH insisted on buying the bloody thing, he can empty it.

When it gets to the point that I simply can't fit another thing in there, I start a new bin by hanging a carrier bag on the under sink cupboard door handle

Pipbin · 08/06/2015 11:55

We are all busy complaining about our DHs and assuming this is a male problem - however I think we are all to some degree surrounded by a SEP (someone else's problem) field.

Where I work is mainly female, and proper grown up women at that, yet just this morning I witnessed about 3 people going to the urn, realising it was empty and then sitting down. I filled that bastard thing. The number of people who will take the last thing from a packet and then leave the packet on the table is about 99%. I bet half of them will have stories like this about their DHs, yet when they are in a place where they are not the default adult they act like someone else will do it.

Pipbin · 08/06/2015 11:57

we regularly have bin-gate. He will just keep ramming stuff in the kitchen bin rather than empty. On occasions out of principle i do then same, then ask him to empty the bin and smirk am astonished when the bin liner has ripped and he has to struggle!

I have that, DH complains that the bin is too full to empty - the idea that if he emptied it when it was full rather than completely fucking full has never occurred to him.
Emptying the bins is his job and I refuse to do it.

Lauren83 · 08/06/2015 12:16

We have a tiny bathroom pedal bin for things like wipes and cotton buds, drives me mad when he fills it with huge things that take up the whole bin, like packaging off something he opened in the bedroom he will go and fill the whole tiny bin with it when the kitchen bin is downstairs with reclying bins

Original poster

ollieplimsoles · 08/06/2015 12:31

Pipbin

Oh this sort of thing happened all the time when I worked in a shop with all women. To be fair to my lovely DH I am the worst for leaving empty cardboard loo rolls on the bathroom shelf, I just cant take them downstairs for some reason! But he leaves empty bottles in the shower/ bath!

TheOddity

3 beer bottles, sitting in the sink
3 beer bottles, sitting in the sink,
and if 3 beer bottles should accidentally fucking smash against a wall,
Then theres NO fucking bottles sitting in the sink

OP posts:

TheOddity · 08/06/2015 14:08

ollieplimsoles

Momagain1 · 08/06/2015 14:36

I bet half of them will have stories like this about their DHs, yet when they are in a place where they are not the default adult they act like someone else will do it.

That's because we are the fucking default adult at home and if you want to be the martyr at work, more power to you.

Jazzle37 · 08/06/2015 15:51

Pipbin SEP - have you been reading Douglas Adams?

My DH does many of things mentioned. For example, I asked DH to put the washing in the dryer the other night, which he did. When I came to check it it was still sopping wet. His response: "Well, you didn't ask me to put it on". He thought I would go specially into the garage and switch it on, after he had loaded it. Silly me...he also, if asked to empty the dishwasher, he empties it but doesn't put the stuff away in the cupboards, he leaves it on the side.

Thing is, if I give him proper, step by step "Do this, then this, then this" instructions he doesn't like it, but if I don't and he only does half the job, its my fault!

Pipbin · 08/06/2015 16:12

That's because we are the fucking default adult at home and if you want to be the martyr at work, more power to you.

I don't think putting an empty packet in the bin is the same a being a martyr.

Very much so Jazzie

Momagain1 · 08/06/2015 16:24

The example was of filling the hot water urn at work. Which sounds a bit more effort.

Fatmomma99 · 08/06/2015 17:14

lots of these are funny!

The other side of this coin is, I have a friend who's DH is VERY organised and VERY clean and tidy. Currently, she works, he is SAHD (she earns more than he could). This worked for quite a while, but their DC are now all in secondary school - and a good way into it. My friend feels that SAHD could get a job now, even a small one.

In the meantime, he's turned almost OCD. Their house is IMMACULATE. EVERYTHING is put away IMMEDIATELY in it's special place (things in cupboards have labelled areas). I'd rather have my slob than this....

MrsKoala · 08/06/2015 17:18

I think i can trump most of these. My DH once knocked a dining room chair over in our tiny 1 bed flat (it had a 1 room lounge/kitchen/diner so it really was small and we also had packing boxes stacked up full of stuff we had nowhere to put). He just stepped over it. I was so cross i left it. FOR 5 DAYS. He just kept stepping over it. It was in the middle of the floor and took up all of the floor space He didn't even notice it there or when it wasn't there - he didn't care.

He would never ever throw anything away when it was finished, unpack anything (he has no idea where anything lives), pick anything up. He actually likes his stuff all over the floor so he can see where it is.

Fatmomma99 · 08/06/2015 17:26

I take back my previous post... Just been upstairs and DH has put all his dirty washing ON rather than IN the laundry (i.e. not lifted the lid)
(a) I do all my washing over the weekend, so the pile will sit there for 5 days now
(b) his dirty washing includes clothes he has worn to the gym so v sweaty, v v stinky.

I may make a play for my friend's OCD man after all....

AuditAngel · 09/06/2015 06:50

We are currently in a mug gate stand off. DH has taken a coffee mug (my favourite one, although actually his) into our bathroom and left it there. It is on day 3

LetThereBeCupcakes · 09/06/2015 07:38

I threw DH a little test last night and asked him to "deal with the clean laundry", which referred to the basket of clean, dry, but mixed laundry in our bedroom.

He did everything apart from the 2 Tea Towels, which would have required a trip downstairs to put away, so he left them in the basket. That's not bad though, really. I reckon 9/10?

ahbollocks · 09/06/2015 09:29

We had bin gate - dh would regukarly dribble thibgs down the side/over stuff.
So one day a few months ago I picked up the whole bin and put it in the wheelie bin.
We do not have a kitchen bin anymore

BlueBananas · 09/06/2015 10:11

I love these type of threads, makes me feel so much better about the half-a-job-bob I live with!
Sunday he stripped our bed (only because he spilled on it and I went out refusing to deal with it, otherwise bedding washing is not on his radar atall!) anyway I took the dog out and brought her back around 3, the bedding was sat in the washer, washer finished just sat there. I went out again and when I came in at 7 it was still sat there. I asked him what he thought was going to happen to that wet washing that he'd left in the washing machine and he looked genuinely baffled! He actually had no idea what would happen/what he should do!
This is just one of many many examples but I'm learning to accept that he's just really really dumb and he doesn't mean to piss me off!

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