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AIBU?

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Original poster

The toiletries bag (light hearted)

157 replies

ollieplimsoles · 06/06/2015 18:23

A stand- off is happening in my house.

I was unpacking the shopping in the kitchen when we came home and all the bath/ shower things were in the one Morrisons bag. I asked him to 'take this bag of toiletries to the bathroom'. He did, when I went upstairs however I chuckled to myself to see that he had simply put the large bag down on the floor of the bathroom and not actually unpacked it (classic DH). I told him I thought it was funny and that he should have unpacked it. He replied with 'you never asked me to unpack it.

Over the following days the bag has remained on the floor, only DH has taken what he needs out of it as he needed it! So I started doing the same! Now only a few items remain in the carrier bag that has been on the floor for almost two weeks.

Dh won't move it because...he doesn't want to. and I won't because I unpacked all he other bits of shopping!

We are both well aware of the bag and tension around it is building, who will crack first? I know I didn't tell him to unpack it, but who leaves a shopping bag unpacked on the floor!

AIBU to ask for your similar stand- off stories?

OP posts:
CycleChic · 07/06/2015 14:11

Those of you waiting for dh to put things in the laundry basket: just leave it where the clothes pile up :)

Gummygummygumdrops · 07/06/2015 14:20

We are currently having the same situation with a primark bag full of empty toiletries at the top of the stairs! I asked DH to tidy bathroom.... Bag still remains! Hmmm

RachelWatts · 07/06/2015 14:26

DH and I had a standoff about a blob of toothpaste left in the sink.

Turned out DH was not convinced I was cleaning the sink as often as I said I did, so left a toothpaste blob to test me.

I thought "Dirty bastard" and wiped around it for three weeks.

ememem84 · 07/06/2015 14:29

cycle if only the clothes piled up in one place...

there is about a 2ft gap between dh's side of the bed, and the wall. i have just noticed a pile of tshirts/pjs/and socks. thy must have been there for ages.

sigh. another secret place.

JUST PUT HTEM IN THE WASHING BASKET!@!!!!

(and breathe...)

londonrach · 07/06/2015 14:31

Lol...dh is now trained to remove tissues from his jeans before putting them in the basket. Its not my fault that the times he does forget the jeans get washed on their own and he has to pick tissue bits off his jeans... Grin.

CadleCrap · 07/06/2015 14:37

Blush I am the guilty one here for tissues in pockets

MarthaMonkeynuts · 07/06/2015 14:54

My tactic evolved as I was fed up of the 'stuff' in my face, washing, wet towels, clothes to be put away etc I have put a bin bag down the side of the bed on his side. It all goes in there now and I don't have to see it anymore, but I will not pick up and put away after another capable adult. No one speaks of the bin bag though... Hmm

paddypants13 · 07/06/2015 14:59

Cyclechic - the clothes stay where they are until he runs out of clothes and washes them himself or I get fed up and put them all in the bin.

He's an adult, he should be able to use a laundry basket. It's just selfish thinking it's ok to make a mess of a shared room.

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst · 07/06/2015 16:38

Roussette as I sit here on the couch, there is a red shiny Xmas decoration twirling gently over my head - I didn't put it up (not mad on Xmas decs) so it's not my job to take it down!

Also, when I take clean washing upstairs, I sort it out on our bed in piles - me, DH, DS and DD. I put the kids' stuff away, and do mine and DH's too. If I don't get time to do it before he goes to bed, he puts his own away and carefulky piles everybody else's washing on the table at the end of the bed!

Let's not talk about how we've lived in this house for nearly fifteen years and he STILL doesn't know where clean cat food bowls live ....

Roussette · 07/06/2015 16:42

Porcupino love it! I'm not the only one with a christmas dec up in June then!

I've just called out to him "have you been in the loft" (we need to get something down before tomorrow). Let's see if the fetching little robin on a twig with baubles goes back up....

NeedsAsockamnesty · 07/06/2015 16:47

About 8 years ago my estranged husband and I had a stand off over cleaning the house we spent weekdays in.

I had been working away he had trashed it thought it was womans work so wouldn't sort it.

I was working 70+ hours a week he was working 30 (no parenting duties for him) and he had a hissy about either of us paying for a cleaner.

It did not get sorted out ever a year later I just decided to sell it and did.

BasinHaircut · 07/06/2015 16:49

Right, so what are we leaving and where for this great social experiment of how long before DH/DP notices?

I'm suggesting a lone sock on the upstairs landing. Or is that to unnoticeable? Should it be something more obscure?

BasinHaircut · 07/06/2015 16:49

*too

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst · 07/06/2015 16:58

How about a duster on the stairs - so it's not only something that needs to get upstairs, it will obviously have a purpose when it gets there - a double challenge! Ignore thing on stairs, and ignore need for domestic duty!

Can you tell what's on my stairs at this very moment?!

Ain626 · 07/06/2015 17:41

Ha! I love this thread. Not only has it made me laugh it has made me realise that my DH is not the only man that is unable to see the mess in front of his face!

I feel like I do most of the cleaning. Every so often I try stopping doing it to see if he will pick up the slack... Doesn't work!

Loving the idea of a social experiment. Let's give it a go!

Pipbin · 07/06/2015 17:52

Well the cleaner is coming Tuesday so everything will get picked up then anyway. I might drop a pair of socks as I take the washing upstairs.

BeaufortBelle · 07/06/2015 17:54

When my children were very very small I decided to leave the hoover in the hall, as a hint, just where DH would have to walk round it to hang up his coat and put his bag down. He walked round it and put his bag behind it for two weeks and then said "darling, you do realise this hoover is in the way don't you, can you put it away before I come home tomorrow please". he even said please, I remember it even now. I. Did. Just. Put. It. Away. But we got a cleaner very shortly afterwards.

AuditAngel · 07/06/2015 18:29

We have this every year with DH's skiing clothes. We used to ski together. The last time I skied was 11 years ago whilst pregnant with DS. For dome reason, I am supposed to want to get his ski clothes out of the lift. I am supposed to choose what he takes, and I am supposed to pack it. I am then supposed to wash it, dry it and put it away!

This year I washed and dried it (eventually) it was then put on top of MY chest of drawers? I moved it to the top of the air con unit. It keeps being put in front of my chest of drawers. I keep moving it away. Last week he moaned that I still hadn't washed it. When I pointed out that I had, he said it was all dirty again from being on the side in our bedroom for 6 months (actually about 4.5).

I think I will just take it up to the loft and put it back in the bag. If I hadn't moved the kids rooms around while he was skiing, and wanted to put the toddler bed in our room, the bag would still be there (like last year)

elementofsurprise · 07/06/2015 19:09

This thread is making me a bit annoyed! Why STILL so many DP's who think it's the woman's job to wash their clothes?

I can understand the other stuff a bit more - they just don't notice/care about mess/random stuff lying around... I mean, it's infuriating but not actually insulting!

Mainly Grining though, love belle's "Darling, you do realise this hoover is in the way don't you"!!
Not sure about leaving a duster on the stairs Porcupino - bit too complex/cryptic, surely? I wouldn't get it either, but then I'd have already dusted I mean, we're talking at the level of not moving a bag from the middle of the floor even after it has tripped you up! Perhaps something a little simpler? Wink

MotherFluffer · 07/06/2015 19:43

I have this with mine and food packaging, for example, things in jars and cereal being the worst offenders. He will use the last 'measure' of something, leaving just a little scraping in the bottom that nobody else can realistically use, and happily pop it back in the cupboard. He CLAIMS to be planning to use them when I lose my temper and throw them away, but they can sit around for YEARS, piling up until nothing else fits in the cupboard and he still won't throw or use them and THE WORST SIN is when he BUYS A NEW JAR OF IT AND OPENS AND STARTS USING THAT INSTEAD!

And breathe.

FretYeNotAllIsShiny · 07/06/2015 19:52

I have no dh here but I do have adolescent children and this describes them to a tee. I already have a strict 'if it aint downstairs, I'm not washing it' rule, but I then pile up the clean laundry either into piles, or into large bags to go back upstairs and be put away. Well, mine goes upstairs, the kids tend to pull out of the bag what they need and forget the rest. I'm pretty sure I could get rid of all the wardrobes in the house and replace them with Aldi bags for life.

Also, this would totally happen with a carrier bag of toiletries. Even if the kids deigned to take it upstairs, it would not get unpacked.

CanIGoToBedNow · 07/06/2015 20:00

Apple core - 2 weeks on a side table........

He did move it, but only when I'd told him I'd taken a picture of it and sent it a friend to show what a lazy sod he was.

AuditAngel · 07/06/2015 20:09

Element to be fair we have a cleaner who does the ironing and putting away and often outs laundry on to wash as well, but the ski things have to be washed without fabric softener, and this wouldn't happen.

He also pays for said cleaner.

ttc2015 · 07/06/2015 20:22

I think i'd move it and steal his shaving foam.

Original poster
ollieplimsoles · 07/06/2015 20:37

Right ladies, I've planted something that he can't possibly ignore and has to move! (bag is still fucking there btw)

He has two bags for work, one he prefers to use and one he only uses when he can't find/ use the other one. I have taken the preferred bag and placed what I call some 'fiddly' washing of his in it. A white t shirt with a bold pattern on it (he will have to ask me if it goes in the dark or light wash, thus more effort for him) and some socks and boxers. he will assume these are clothes he has worn at work.

The bag has been placed in clear view, in his office by the door. Now he can either move the bag and sort it out to use it for work, or he will be forced to use the one he doesn't like much, and complains about using it.

Lets see how long he can really last without sorting this out... (he will expect me to do it because I usually do but I'm 5 months preg with pgp so he will presume I'm not in any 'condition' to sort the bag out.)

Wine
OP posts: