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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with my able bodied neighbour?

89 replies

imnotafeministbut · 06/06/2015 17:47

A neighbour of mine, a lovely elderly lady, who I was very fond of, passed away last Feb. Her daughter 40 ish, moved back in with her about a year ago. The elderly lady quite rightly, had a disabled badge on her car. Thing is - since her passing her perfectly able-bodied daughter has been driving around in her mums old car and has kept the on disabled badge and is even parking in Disabled parking bays. WWYD?

OP posts:
IcaMorgan · 07/06/2015 13:32

There is one way to tell who the badge belongs to or at least their age. Their date of birth is included in the badge number (normally the month and year as 4 digits) so if the date is from 66 up then it belongs to the daughter and if it's in the 40 (eg) then it would be the mothers

An example would be 0665 which would mean the holder was born in June 1965

This number is below the expiry date.

If you check this number and it turns out to be the daughters you can leave her alone.

IcaMorgan · 07/06/2015 13:34

Grr it removed some of the stars from my example 0665

IcaMorgan · 07/06/2015 13:36

For some reason it won't accept all the stars. It should be 6 1 0665 then 5*

TheFairyCaravan · 07/06/2015 13:44

DH got told once that I couldn't possibly be disabled because I had makeup on! Hmm

At the doctors once, where there is one disabled space, I came back to my car to a note saying "this space is for REAL disabled people, ie the elderly" Shock! I took it in to the receptionist who said, quite loudly, to the busy waiting room it was for all disabled people regardless of their age!

TrashcanMan · 07/06/2015 13:54

Whiskwarrior, I'm also someone who has learned a lot from reading threads like these. I would have been a silent judger about things like this before, and I am very grateful to posters like those on this thread who have shown me how wrong that is. Thanks for all people who struggle with this issue.

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 07/06/2015 14:10

I've seen you post that before, fairy, about make up. Shocking.
I regularly get told that I'm not properly disabled, just fat Sad. I was quite slim before I got arthritis.
I also get the indignant charging across the car park to berate me for pulling into a disabled space.

MrsDeVere · 07/06/2015 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moreisnnogedag · 07/06/2015 15:01

Can I just ask what the problem with reporting would be? The OP has made no mention of going up to the woman, just reporting her. So if she reports and the woman still uses the blue badge then she obviously has one herself. If not, then she'll stop fraudently using a BB and freeing a space.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 07/06/2015 15:08

I agree with Norah , get a bloody lifeHmm honestly, you are resenting someone using a parking space . Ffs have a word with yourself!

Do you have any idea how stressful it would be for her if you got it wrong and she actually had her own blue badge? Keep your sticky beak well and truly out!

morage · 07/06/2015 15:10

To those saying disabled people can be entitled to a blue badge and able to walk and run fine - if you now apply for a badge, the rules are much much tougher. I can't do those things, and am not entitled to a blue badge

emmelinelucas · 07/06/2015 15:15

What is the problem about reporting ?
If she is entitled, nothing will happen anyway.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 07/06/2015 15:16

I have had a BB for the last 6 years. It's due to be renewed next year. I am dreading being turned down as it is so hard without it, in fact I would become a lot less independent.

RiverTam · 07/06/2015 15:22

If the house is up for sale then this will sort itself out soon enough. You really don't know if she is entitled to use the space or not.

ATravellingCircusCame · 07/06/2015 15:22

If you have a blue badge, but have a condition whereby you have good and bad days, shouldn't you still park considerately? So, if you don't actually need to park in a disabled space that day, even though you are entitled to, wouldn't it be more considerate to park elsewhere?

wonkylegs · 07/06/2015 15:33

I have been told over the years that I cannot possibly be disabled because
I'm too young (main one)
Work
Am a mum
Look too healthy / don't look sick
Can walk
Can swim
Am married (wtf!)
Can drive
Don't use a wheelchair (well I do just not all the time)
Don't use walking aids (again I do just not all the time, sometimes I can't use them because my wrists, hands, elbows and shoulders are buggered too)
Don't claim DLA / PIP
Go on holiday
Went to university (again wtf!)
I have a chronic disease that most people think can only be for old people, people don't realise how serious it is or the effects of it and how the medication that I take to keep me going is a fine balancing act that can also make me very ill or may even kill me one day.
I've had it since I was 19, people's assumptions used to upset me and properly make me weep, now as I head for forty I have developed a thick skin but I still despair at the crap people come out with.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 07/06/2015 15:36

A travelling - what makes you think people don't do this? Remember, the OP is making huge assumptions and has no idea if the neighbour has her own badge.

emwithme · 07/06/2015 15:37

If you have a blue badge, but have a condition whereby you have good and bad days, shouldn't you still park considerately? So, if you don't actually need to park in a disabled space that day, even though you are entitled to, wouldn't it be more considerate to park elsewhere?

I do this. On days I need to use a Blue Badge space, I use it. On days I don't, I don't (although the days I don't are few and far between).

My badge is currently up for renewal (end of the month) and I am worried about it not being renewed because then I'll be stuck in the house on "OK" days as well as bad days...and that will probably mean I'm able to go out once a week if that.

ATravellingCircusCame · 07/06/2015 15:47

'A travelling - what makes you think people don't do this?'

I didn't say people don't. I'm sure lots of people do. I do. I was just wondering about the neighbour at the supermarket. Even if the badge is hers and she is completely entitled to it, she probably shouldn't have been in a disabled space if she'd been skipping round the supermarket only minutes before.

A lot of people are saying 'just because she can run/go to the gym etc., it doesn't mean she isn't entitled to a blue badge', which is of course true. It's also true that if she can run round the park, she can walk to her car and shouldn't clog up a disabled space she doesn't need (at that time).

morage · 07/06/2015 15:48

Some local authorities now say that unless you get the mobility element of DLA or PIP, you can't get a BB. I can walk more than 20 feet, although slowly, so am not entitled to one.

morage · 07/06/2015 15:50

And I can't run or go to the gym.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 07/06/2015 16:16

I bet I look like I'm skipping around the supermarket some days when in fact I'm clinging onto the trolley for dear life. People should mind their own business.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 07/06/2015 16:25

Posts like this make me annoyed too. Yes, she could well be taking the mickey and using her mum's. But how are you to know OP? If you are that bothered then report her. I too have a condition that is, mostly, invisible (epilepsy in case you are interested). Unless I am having a seizure in the street I look perfectly fine and healthy yet whenever I use my disabled persons bus pass, a small part of me still feels guilty, as if I'm doing something wrong!! I have to remind myself that I have a condition that means that I can't drive and the law recognises that and helps me out by giving me free public transport. It is attitudes like yours OP that make me feel guilty and judged.

emmelinelucas · 07/06/2015 16:36

How is the OP judging anyone ? Honestly, its getting where you can't ask a question on here.
Fraud does happen, unfortunately

Iloveonionchutney · 07/06/2015 16:44

I could go the supermarket and park in another space but then find by the time I've got what I need I can barely manage to get to the space outside as i can change that quick. I never know if I'll still be ok on leaving when I arrive somewhere do is park in a disabled bay just in case.
I'm another one who looks absolutely fine. Report her if you want it looked into but just don't expect the situation to change.

hedgehogsdontbite · 07/06/2015 16:44

If you have a blue badge, but have a condition whereby you have good and bad days, shouldn't you still park considerately? So, if you don't actually need to park in a disabled space that day, even though you are entitled to, wouldn't it be more considerate to park elsewhere?

Many fluctuating conditions are affected by activity levels on good days. The more I do today when I am able, the less I'll be able to do the next.