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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pissed off at being called fat

83 replies

OneDoneOneBun · 05/06/2015 14:57

I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my second baby so almost 3 months and am still wearing size 10 clothes, your meant to show sooner with second pregnancies aren't you? Before I got pregnant the first time around I was bulimic and would puke up every single thing I ate and take loads of laxatives and was very skinny and ill, as soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped, it was hard but I wouldn't harm my baby in any way. Anyway it's took a lot for me to get here and I feel healthy, I don't think size 10 when 3 months pregnant is that bad but the doctor I went to see today made me feel absolutely shit saying "because you're overweight" I just think that it's comments like that that would have probably started me off being sick again if I wasn't pregnant.

OP posts:
Original poster
OneDoneOneBun · 05/06/2015 18:12

I am 9st 9lb and size 10. If 9st odd is fat then I'm fat, I am 3 months pregnant like, jeez

OP posts:
Original poster
OneDoneOneBun · 05/06/2015 18:13

Thanks Rack

OP posts:
SassyPasty · 05/06/2015 18:21

He then said that my doctor at the surgery had referred me because she was worried and he was going on about thrombosis and stuff saying that you could get it "because you are overweight" and that I need to give up chocolate for a week to see if the migraines improve.

Did he specifically say 'you are overweight' or was he listing the risk factors for thrombosis?

Original poster
OneDoneOneBun · 05/06/2015 18:24

"Because you are overweight"

OP posts:
BatteryPoweredHen · 05/06/2015 18:39

So you are indeed overweight, why would you be 'pissed off' at this being pointed out by your doctor?

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 05/06/2015 18:45

Have you told your doctors about your eating disorder?

Klayden · 05/06/2015 18:49

You are slightly overweight and that does not mean "fat". I know it's hard to hear, especially if you've lived with an eating disorder. I became overweight after recovering from an eating disorder and it was so incredibly painful and triggering to discuss with medical professionals. However, there are risks involved with being overweight, especially in pregnancy. Identifying it early on is key, so you can keep an eye on things.

awombwithaview · 05/06/2015 18:54

On the NHS bmi calculator it puts my height (5"2) as being healthy between 7st 3lb and 9st 11lbs ...I would look horrendous at 9st, I look my best at 8st and that's what I stick to which gives a healthy bmi of 20.1. I got to 8 st 9lbs once and I hated it, bloody horrible.

I don't want to sound harsh OP but as a fellow 'shorty' you are overweight at 9st 9lbs.

The high street size 10 is not accurate in certain stores - notably Next I've found are uber generous and I'm an 8 in there and have even got into the odd 6. M&S are also very generous.

The best advice I can give you, not that you've asked for it, is to go walking every day to lose weight; it's low impact and really works. Go out speed walking for half an hour or just normal walking for an hour.

awombwithaview · 05/06/2015 18:56

*edit - I was a Next 8 when I weighed more than I do now, so I'd probably get into a 6 now in there....I ain't a 6!

NeverGoOutOfStyle · 05/06/2015 18:57

If you're 9st5lb normally (as you said you're 9st9lb now and have gained 4lb since getting pregnant) then your BMI is 25.4 usually, and 26.2 at the moment, both of which fall into the 'overweight' category. Your doctor is referring to you as overweight in a medical sense, as in carrying too much weight can cause these complications that could be factors in your medical condition, he/she is not calling you fat.

jacks11 · 05/06/2015 19:05

As a doctor, while I would agree it could have been said more sensitively, I would also point out that what he said was essentially correct. Your booking BMI does fall into overweight category. This does not mean he called you fat.

As I'm sure you know, being overweight does carry greater risks in pregnancy, statistically speaking and is of importance when planning care. Obviously the significance increases as the BMI becomes greater. Gaining excessive amounts of weight in pregnancy can also cause problems.

In addition, being overweight can increase the likelihood of some types of headache- maybe this was what he was getting at? Not sure why he kept asking re chocolate when you'd told him you'd stop though.

Just keep eating sensibly and I'm sure you'll be fine.

WyrdByrd · 05/06/2015 19:23

FGS you're pregnant and that aside the only thing you seem to be suffering from is a bloody insensitive doctor!

I was a size 10-12 at 9st 2lb and 5ft 3, so I'd guess that you may be carrying a few pounds more than is strictly necessary at this point in your pg, but certainly not 'fat'.

Eat healthily, exercise as well as you are able and try to get some relaxation time and decent sleep.

Hope the migraines go soon and you are able to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy Flowers.

ragged · 05/06/2015 19:39

It doesn't matter if you are fat. Or even overweight.

You won't leave your eating disorder behind until you can shrug off those words as unimportant.

pearpotter · 05/06/2015 19:44

"Size 10 is HUGE"

FUCK OFF Angry

Original poster
OneDoneOneBun · 05/06/2015 19:53

Well I felt ok about my weight until I came on here Confused

OP posts:
LiDLrichardsPistachioSack · 05/06/2015 19:54

Jesus! Some of the responses on here! OP has an eating disorder FFS!
OP who gives a shiny rats arse if you're a few quid over the stupid bloody normal BMI. You're pregnant. It'll all balance out if you stay healthy.
(I had migraines when I was pg, it's shit. Cranial osteopathy worked wonders though.)
Flowers

LiDLrichardsPistachioSack · 05/06/2015 19:58

Oh and ps. Before I had a baby at my fittest, my bmi was 25.5. This was with a 26 inch waist and visible ribs and muscles. Bmi can fuck off.

BolshierAyraStark · 05/06/2015 20:06

I look great at a size 10 but i'm 5'7" so would think just over 5' is a different kettle of fish entirely, it's a difficult thing to judge.
I'm also not a doctor.

mileend2bermondsey · 05/06/2015 20:08

OP I can sympathise with you to an extent. My doctor once asked me 'why are you overweight?' I found it a bit bizzare (had nothing to do with why I was there). I responded by saying 'errr....because I consume more calories than I burn off?' Well, that's the only answer isnt it? Doctors can often be lacking in the compassion/sensitivity, but the simple fact is that you are medically overweight and it is your doctors job to help you be as healthy as possible, which you currently aren't. So sorry YABU.

Royalsighness · 05/06/2015 20:10

There are some really insensitive replies to this post OP, please don't let them direct you back to disordered eating.

Discussing your BMI on here and having it open to criticism and nasty comments is a bad road to go down, I am in a bulimia relapse currently after suffering from it for 10 years maybe more, I can't begin to imagine how it felt to have your weight mentioned in a negative way like this, it would have hurt me too.

If you need to talk privately I am here, be kind to yourself x

Royalsighness · 05/06/2015 20:12

Some of you women on this thread should be deeply deeply ashamed of yourself and your comments are absolutely disgusting. Horrible nasty witches.

Klayden · 05/06/2015 20:12

Having an eating disorder doesn't make you immune to having medical professionals express concern about your weight, whether you're under or over weight.

Klayden · 05/06/2015 20:13

I think people have been blunt and harsh but "disgusting"? Really?!

Royalsighness · 05/06/2015 20:15

Yea but having a load of tactless idiots on a parenting forum stick the knife in and twist it around doesn't exactly help matters does it?

Royalsighness · 05/06/2015 20:15

Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder or had it affect your family in any way?