To tell this woman to fuck off next time?

[duckyneedsaclean]

So, background - ds2 has severe developmental delays, gets middle rate DLA, likely genetic condition, currently in a clinical study to work out what is causing his issues. Had regular physio, SALT, brain MRIs etc etc.

He's been at nursery in a funded 2 year old place since January.

He's very recently started to begin walking. Holding on until last week, now can walk short distances unaided.

Now to the bitch.

A month ago at picking up time he walked towards me holding a staff members hand. They said very excitedly that he'd been walking a lot. Another mother butted in saying "oh! He just needed some time away from mum!"

I was more than a bit but thought maybe it was one of those things where you say something without thinking.

Today, two members of staff were telling me he'd walked between rooms on his own and been really proud of himself. He saw me, crawled towards me. Again she popped up and said "But he starts crawling when he sees mum! Haha"

Wtf? Is she unhinged?

[MsAspreyDiamonds]

Shut her down at the next opportunity because she needs to learn to keep her big gob shut.

Unfortunately once one idiot shuts up another one pops up to take their place, a bit like garden weeds.

My dc was a very early premature baby so was smaller than all the other babies & the amount of comments I got about putting him on solids early to bulk him out is unbelievable. It is a miracle that I haven't killed anyone yet.

[Welliesandpyjamas]

SOme people are just incapable of keeping their thoughts inside their heads and blurt out everything regardless of others' feelings. I have met a few people like that (particularly at nursery and school gates ha ha!). The most mature thing on your part would be to ignore her and talk with nursery staff about it, let them handle it.

Well done to your ds, he must be feeling great :)

[cogitosum]

I would go with something like justhavinabreak said. I think it'd leave her feeling worse than if you have a go at her.

[carabos]

Agree with wellies. Next time, give her the face and ask her if she meant to say that out loud. If she's doing it because she's thick, she'll respond with "what do you mean?" and you can explain gently. If she doesn't say that, ignores you or gives you a look back, you can rip her a new one.

[phoenixrose314]

I would just turn around and very calmly say that he has some developmental delays, has some additional needs and it has no reflection on your parenting whatsoever.

Well done to your DS for overcoming such a big milestone :)

[WeirdCatLady]

There always the MN Classic of 'Did you mean to be so rude?'

Well done to your son btw x

[findingmyfeet12]

It sounds to me that she was making a joke about kids playing up to parents. People use that one with all kids regardless of ability so she was treating your ds no differently to another child.

Confronting her will probably create a lot of tension. I can't understand why so many people are getting so angry on your behalf. She made a joke, it's just small talk IMO.

[Lovemylittlebear]

next time she makes a stupid comment just tell her, "im ever so proud of my son and how hard he has been trying to walk, please dont make comments like that as I find it upsetting". hopefully it will embarrass he infront of everyone and make her realise what a nob she is bejng! failing that just call her a NOB :) or following popular advice from an old thread...give her a creme egg ;) x

[ifgrandmahadawilly]

What a bitch.

[KeepOnTryingTilYouRunOutOfCake]

She sounds like a treat. Tell her she is being nasty and rude.

[SumThucker]

It's a fact of life some people are just out and out cunts.
Tell her to fuck right off

[Grumpyoldbiddy]

Those people who think she is trying to be friendly / amusing, there are far better ways than taking the piss, especially when you don't know someone.

I vote for 'actually my son is fucking amazing to be able to do this given the struggles he has with everyday life because of his disability' then spitting at her turning your back on her and walking away.
Or something like that.

[Grumpyoldbiddy]

Findingmyfeet - it's upsetting because when you have seen your child struggling to do things that other people take for granted, felt powerless, done everything you can possibly do to improve your child's life and they are able to do this amazing thing that has taken every ounce of physical and mental effort, you feel so proud of them. And then some woman who hasn't got a clue makes sarcastic throw away comments demeaning that effort it's fucking soul destroying.

[findingmyfeet12]

Ok, I'll revise my view. The only way to deal with this is to hiss at her and send her away with a flea in her ear.

[tethersend]

"Thanks for the comments, but this situation doesn't involve you"

You don't owe her any explanation at all.

[BubGal13]

ducky must be my time of the month as got bit teary imagining your sweet little DS walking and the excitement of him/nursery staff/you at this lovely development...then got to the weird freak woman. Fuming. Nothing clever to suggest saying though sorry, but if she says anything similar again you must say something to shut her up once and for all.

[Whatisaweekend]

Perhaps she is just a bit of a moron - does she know that your ds has difficulties? I think the next time she makes a comment, I would reply "You do know that he has developmental delays/sn/disabilities, don't you???? (whichever is your preferred term) and then fix her with a hard stare. Hopefully she will have the good grace to look mortified and apologise. More likely she will blush and babble yet more crap but I doubt she will do it again after that (if she does I think you are legally allowed to rip her a new one).

[BathtimeFunkster]

It sounds to me that she was making a joke about kids playing up to parents. People use that one with all kids regardless of ability so she was treating your ds no differently to another child.

Exactly.

I doesn't sound like she was taking the piss or trying to belittle a toddler's efforts to walk, but trying to find common ground with another parent.

[BrendaBlackhead]

With FindingMyFeet and Bathtime: it's just a thing people say to try to bond. You know, like how they read perfectly at school but make out they're a complete dunce if you make a move to get out the school reading book. I'm sure she didn't mean to be horrible and probably had no idea that he had additional needs. I can, however, understand how easy it is to perceive an insult.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I think I would say, "Do you think it is funny to laugh at a child who has developmental issues and is working so hard to overcome them?"

[BathtimeFunkster]

Yes, publicly humiliating someone who has misread a situation is definitely the way to go.

[ImperialBlether]

I would say what SDT said.

[rockybalboa]

Oh yes, if there was ever a time to crack out "did you mean to be so rude?" then this is it! Well done your DS!