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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Omg omg NEW 50 SHADES EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT

32 replies

MrPointy · 04/06/2015 20:40

For us "ladies"

linky!!!

OP posts:
ginmakesitallok · 04/06/2015 20:46
Grin
MrPointy · 04/06/2015 20:47

Bump!

Surely there are others excited by this amazing piece of writing?

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 04/06/2015 20:47

I can't read t the writing is awful!

ghostyslovesheep · 04/06/2015 20:48

very good - though not quiet awful enough to be convincing

ElphabaTheGreen · 04/06/2015 20:49

I'm biting my lip in anticipation and my inner goddess is dancing.

Hmm

I fancy suing EL James for the brain cells I lost to that piece of shit.

OurGlass · 04/06/2015 20:50

Why do you start your threads with Omg omg?

LavenderRain · 04/06/2015 20:51

What crap is this?! Hmm

CumberCookie · 04/06/2015 20:55

BWahahahahah!

ElphabaTheGreen · 04/06/2015 20:55

Actually...it's quite funny Grin

(Tis a spoof, "ladies")

Violetcloud · 04/06/2015 20:58

Brilliant, reading that turned Mr Grey into Sir Alan Sugar in my mind.

That's an image that will stay with me.

Koalafications · 04/06/2015 21:00

That's given me my first laugh in a few days

MrPointy · 04/06/2015 21:05

koalafications Smile

OP posts:
londonrach · 04/06/2015 21:06

Amazing piece of writing...op you are talking about the same book that i attempted to read. Its was very badly written and very boring. Some of the mills and boom (my name for it) which i read as a teenager were better than this book series in every way...

AnotherGirlsParadise · 04/06/2015 21:09

“Tell me, Miss Nubile,” I say, wealthily, “what brings you to my colossal edifice?”

I HAVE to start saying things 'wealthily' now! Grin

sweetkitty · 04/06/2015 21:12

I think I actually wet myself a bit reading that, the cabinet containing the Dead Sea scolls Grin

MrsEvadneCake · 04/06/2015 21:16

I kept hearing it in the voice that Rik Mayall used for Lord Flasheart. Woof!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 04/06/2015 21:20

FoxtrotFoxtrotSierra.

50shadesofshite nearly got us all killed on the péage. DW had the font jacked up to 24, I glance over, and I'm presented with the words "...as I took him deeper into mouth".

You can't unsee that stuff.

Seriouslyffs · 04/06/2015 21:24

'There’s something about her wittering immaturity, her pouting humourlessness, and her pathetically low self-esteem that I find deeply alluring.'
Hahaha

MrPointy · 04/06/2015 22:05

londonrach, honestly, this extract is a master piece. Read it. Smile.

OP posts:
MrPointy · 04/06/2015 22:07

ourglass coz I want to.

OP posts:
LurcioAgain · 04/06/2015 22:14

I'm confused ... (bites lower lip). Surely the bible didn't have a single author, so how could you have a signed copy? And I know American authors sometimes get things about Britain wrong (bites lip again in puzzlement) but DFS as a place where you'd get expensive trendy furniture? Surely publishers have fact checkers for this sort of thing. And didn't Van Gogh commit suicide? And having the floor perpendicular to the walls - that's a bit bourgeois and dull for cutting edge architecture, isn't it?

But the sex scene was really hawt - or should that be "smexy" (not quite up to date on my teen argot anymore) - my inner goddess is dancing the lambada too, now.

Yarp · 04/06/2015 22:16

Holy crap!

Yarp · 04/06/2015 22:17

All of you stop biting your lips. My fly swat is getting twitchy

CrapBag · 04/06/2015 22:19

That is very funny and possibly how the book may go. Grin

"I decide to tantalise her with a series of subtle hints about my extracurricular interests.

“I’ll have a crate of nipple clamps, a bathtub of lubricant and 39 enormous black dildos, please,” I say."

Grin
fourchetteoff · 04/06/2015 22:19

That is hilarious!!

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