Omg omg NEW 50 SHADES EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT

[MrPointy]

For us "ladies"

linky!!!

[TedAndLola]

I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. I wish Michael Deacon would rewrite the whole thing!

[BoreOfWhabylon]

Brilliant, reading that turned Mr Grey into Sir Alan Sugar in my mind.

Oh... just imagine The Apprentice with Christian Grey

[BoreOfWhabylon]

Thank you, OP!

[Timri]

Hahah, that's brilliant!

[Cocolepew]

[stoopstoconker]

More, I want more....

[NotBanksy]

This is amazing!

Gazey gaze

[fourchetteoff]

That is hilarious!!

[CrapBag]

That is very funny and possibly how the book may go.

"I decide to tantalise her with a series of subtle hints about my extracurricular interests.

“I’ll have a crate of nipple clamps, a bathtub of lubricant and 39 enormous black dildos, please,” I say."

[Yarp]

All of you stop biting your lips. My fly swat is getting twitchy

[Yarp]

Holy crap!

[LurcioAgain]

I'm confused ... (bites lower lip). Surely the bible didn't have a single author, so how could you have a signed copy? And I know American authors sometimes get things about Britain wrong (bites lip again in puzzlement) but DFS as a place where you'd get expensive trendy furniture? Surely publishers have fact checkers for this sort of thing. And didn't Van Gogh commit suicide? And having the floor perpendicular to the walls - that's a bit bourgeois and dull for cutting edge architecture, isn't it?

But the sex scene was really hawt - or should that be "smexy" (not quite up to date on my teen argot anymore) - my inner goddess is dancing the lambada too, now.

[MrPointy]

ourglass coz I want to.

[MrPointy]

londonrach, honestly, this extract is a master piece. Read it. .

[Seriouslyffs]

'There’s something about her wittering immaturity, her pouting humourlessness, and her pathetically low self-esteem that I find deeply alluring.'
Hahaha

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

FoxtrotFoxtrotSierra.

50shadesofshite nearly got us all killed on the péage. DW had the font jacked up to 24, I glance over, and I'm presented with the words "...as I took him deeper into mouth".

You can't unsee that stuff.

[MrsEvadneCake]

I kept hearing it in the voice that Rik Mayall used for Lord Flasheart. Woof!

[sweetkitty]

I think I actually wet myself a bit reading that, the cabinet containing the Dead Sea scolls

[AnotherGirlsParadise]

“Tell me, Miss Nubile,” I say, wealthily, “what brings you to my colossal edifice?”

I HAVE to start saying things 'wealthily' now!

[londonrach]

Amazing piece of writing...op you are talking about the same book that i attempted to read. Its was very badly written and very boring. Some of the mills and boom (my name for it) which i read as a teenager were better than this book series in every way...

[MrPointy]

koalafications

[Koalafications]

That's given me my first laugh in a few days

[Violetcloud]

Brilliant, reading that turned Mr Grey into Sir Alan Sugar in my mind.

That's an image that will stay with me.

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Actually...it's quite funny

(Tis a spoof, "ladies")

[CumberCookie]

BWahahahahah!