Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To think the school aren't really being fair here

79 replies

Southwestwhippet · 03/06/2015 19:53

My DD is in reception. Either myself or her dad collect her every day apart from Wednesday. On Wednesday, her nanny collects her.This has been the case ever since she started school. The school does not allow parents in the classroom so at collecting time the teacher 'posts' the child through the door one by one when she sees the collecting parent. If it isn't the parent collecting, you need to write this on the white board in the playground in the morning so the teacher knows who to hand child over to at the end of the day. All fine - background info to explain the school do know who is picking children up.

This half term, the reception class are doing a minibeast project. We were warned that we would get the minibeast bag home one night and have to find a bug, draw a picture then write an interesting fact about the beast before handing back THE NEXT DAY.

of course, DD gets the bag today, a Wednesday. She is dropped off to me after work at 7:15pm by her nanny with bag in hand telling me we have to do this project by tomorrow morning. Very upset when I say we really don't have time and she needs to go to bed. Mornings are difficult as, apart from the limited number of bugs out and about at 7:30am, she has her reading and music practice to do.

So in the end, I basically print a few pictures off google, write a paragraph about spiracles (all I could recall from a-level biology) and put her to bed late but at least happy.

AIBU to have a polite word with the teacher tomorrow to say that given she was one of only three children not going home with their parents today(according to whiteboard) it wasn't very helpful to have given her the bag tonight? And that she was sad we didn't have chance to look at the pack/use the special net/read the books? I know they have a lot of children to manage but they also have a lot to choose from and picking one who they KNOW isn't going home with a parent, who also goes home with a a parent every other night, seems really thoughtless.

Or is this just regular school crap that I have to just suck up? I'm a bit disappointed as I would have liked to do it with her. Happy to be told I am unreasonable but please, I am pregnant and emotional and feeling very sensitive.

OP posts:

Wideopenspace · 03/06/2015 19:56

She does reading AND music practice before school and is in reception...

HOW? What time do you blimming get up??

Buttercup27 · 03/06/2015 19:56

Why couldn't she don't with the nanny ?

Theycallmemellowjello · 03/06/2015 19:56

Yes I think that's off. They should give them more than one evening to do something like that.

Sandbrook · 03/06/2015 19:56

Could you have delayed her bed time by a half hour?

MrsNextDoor · 03/06/2015 19:56

YABU. You MAKE time. Or, you improvise a bit....if you can't find a bug, you find a picture of one....she draw it...that takes 10 minutes. The writing, either you help her do that or she does it...another 5-10 minutes.

In future, prime Nanny to do the homework with her.

NerrSnerr · 03/06/2015 19:58

Wouldn't it be the nanny's job to to the homework with her? If not, could she have missed reading or music for one morning?

Mrmonkey · 03/06/2015 19:59

Couldn't she lead the music practice for one morning? There are lots of bugs round in the morning and it would have taken 10 minutess to do! Do you honestly think the reception teacher wants a paragraph that's A level biology standard? Something along the lines of a ladybird has spots would be fine. As for getting it today maybe the teacher was really busy and it didn't get head or maybe she assumed your dd could do it with her nanny.

Momzilla82 · 03/06/2015 19:59

I don't know whether YABU- but you just hand it back and say we didn't have time because on a Wednesday she's with the nanny. Please could we have the bag over the weekend as I'd like to do the project then?!? Simple communication is your friend here. The teacher may have forgotten and not made the connection.

Mrmonkey · 03/06/2015 20:00

I'm so slow I've crossed posts with a few people!

PtolemysNeedle · 03/06/2015 20:01

I don't think you can expect the school to take into account who is collecting when they're talking about something that is completely unrelated. There's no guarantee that you would have had time to do it even if it had been a parent collecting. You are assuming that the teacher checks the board immediately, for all you know she doesn't look at it until five to three when the children are getting ready to go home, which is fine as long as the children are handed over to the right person.

If anything, the problem is that they have only given one day to do the work.

NRomanoff · 03/06/2015 20:01

Yabu. Completely.

cornflakegirl · 03/06/2015 20:01

I think I would have assumed she would do any homework with the nanny.

If you knew this would happen, and would need to be done overnight so everyone could use the stuff, maybe you should have asked the teacher to make sure you didn't get the bag on a Wednesday.

Why don't you speak to the teacher, explain that your dd didn't get the chance to do it properly, and ask really nicely if there might be a slot for her to have another turn?

FernGullysWoollyPully · 03/06/2015 20:02

I think you are being a bit unreasonable about this. I agree that one night isn't much but itt's not a huge project to undertake in the time she had and could have been done by your dd and Nanny.

wibbleywee · 03/06/2015 20:02

surely she doesnt need reading and music practice every morning before school??

TheFairyCaravan · 03/06/2015 20:03

Could you imagine how much harder a teacher's job would be if they had to keep track of all parents' work and childcare arrangements?

YABU.

edwinbear · 03/06/2015 20:04

The nanny should have done the project with her, all the nannies I know do this as part of their remit.

MrsHathaway · 03/06/2015 20:06

It sounds like a class bear type project and OP was probably trying to match the efforts of previous parents children.

I think it's pretty unreasonable to set "overnight" homework at any age. It sounds like you're in the kind of naice area where most families have a SAHP though.

I agree the nanny should have done it. She could have foreseen the trouble you'd have.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 03/06/2015 20:06

If you have time to do reading and music practice in the morning then you could have dropped those on this occasion and done the homework. I'm sure the teachers have no idea what your DD does with the nanny on a Wednesday, why on earth would they know that the nanny doesn't drop her to you until 7pm or that the nanny couldn't do the homework with her?

HopefulHamster · 03/06/2015 20:07

I have a reception age child - err, am I supposed to be reading and music practice in the morning? I consider it a job well done if we're fed and dressed in time!

HighwayDragon · 03/06/2015 20:07

Music AND reading at age 4/5?!

Sirzy · 03/06/2015 20:07

Yabu.

Why couldn't she have done with with her nanny?

Why couldn't she have skipped music practise for one day?

I very much doubt the teachers have time to consider the ins and outs of who it goes with when. Just like sometimes class bear comes home on a night you could do without, uou just grin and bear it whilst being relieved that bit is over

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 03/06/2015 20:08

Mrs next door all very well you sitting there smug throwing your closed minded "You make time comments, but how do you pluck time from mid air please, ask clocks to stop ticking!
I do agree though why the poster that said why couldn't the nanny do it with her but I do think the teacher should give more time than just a few hours. Because rushing an activity just takes all the fun out of it.

flora717 · 03/06/2015 20:08

Something like this on a Tuesday would be a challenge in this house, even though I collect them every day. The teacher cannot track what EVERY child does am/ pm. Plus, music practice, every morning. That could flex for urgent work, with catch up later in the day?
And the bug thing could have been the reading. Think round the routine, it sounds very inflexible.

NoraRobertsismyguiltypleasure · 03/06/2015 20:08

I'm guessing Nanny is the grandmother and therefore maybe didn't feel comfortable doing homework with her. I agree with pp, just skip reading or music one morning - she's in reception it's not going to make a big difference.

MrsNextDoor · 03/06/2015 20:09

Nora I think you're right but OP needs to ask her to check the bag in future and make sure there's nothing to be done for the following day.

Flip

1 2 3 4