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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school aren't really being fair here

79 replies

Southwestwhippet · 03/06/2015 19:53

My DD is in reception. Either myself or her dad collect her every day apart from Wednesday. On Wednesday, her nanny collects her.This has been the case ever since she started school. The school does not allow parents in the classroom so at collecting time the teacher 'posts' the child through the door one by one when she sees the collecting parent. If it isn't the parent collecting, you need to write this on the white board in the playground in the morning so the teacher knows who to hand child over to at the end of the day. All fine - background info to explain the school do know who is picking children up.

This half term, the reception class are doing a minibeast project. We were warned that we would get the minibeast bag home one night and have to find a bug, draw a picture then write an interesting fact about the beast before handing back THE NEXT DAY.

of course, DD gets the bag today, a Wednesday. She is dropped off to me after work at 7:15pm by her nanny with bag in hand telling me we have to do this project by tomorrow morning. Very upset when I say we really don't have time and she needs to go to bed. Mornings are difficult as, apart from the limited number of bugs out and about at 7:30am, she has her reading and music practice to do.

So in the end, I basically print a few pictures off google, write a paragraph about spiracles (all I could recall from a-level biology) and put her to bed late but at least happy.

AIBU to have a polite word with the teacher tomorrow to say that given she was one of only three children not going home with their parents today(according to whiteboard) it wasn't very helpful to have given her the bag tonight? And that she was sad we didn't have chance to look at the pack/use the special net/read the books? I know they have a lot of children to manage but they also have a lot to choose from and picking one who they KNOW isn't going home with a parent, who also goes home with a a parent every other night, seems really thoughtless.

Or is this just regular school crap that I have to just suck up? I'm a bit disappointed as I would have liked to do it with her. Happy to be told I am unreasonable but please, I am pregnant and emotional and feeling very sensitive.

OP posts:
BeeInYourBonnet · 03/06/2015 20:21

YANBU. Overnight homework is ridiculous, and is a potential nightmare whether you WOH or not. If you had a few DCs who were all at different clubs til late on the particular night you had the homework, what are you supposed to do?!

Pp who said 'just find the time' are unbelievable!

edwinbear · 03/06/2015 20:22

In answer to your last paragraph, it is, I'm afraid, regular school crap that requires sucking up. Imagine my delight when I mentioned to ds teacher that he wouldn't be able to make after school football as we were dashing across London at 3pm, to catch a train to Cornwall, complete with 3 yr old sister and 3 suitcases. Out he trots, no word of a lie with a rocket made out of cereal packets and loo rolls, the size of him accompanied by a huge stone, painted like a lady bird, for me to transport along with everything else, by train, to Cornwall and back. Grin and bear it.

LIZS · 03/06/2015 20:22

Lol @ writing a paragraph for a reception child. Think the teacher may just suss that mummy has done it! A bad habit. Surely all they want is a quick pic and something along the lines of x has 6 legs. No 5 yo needs music practice every morning and reading can be done at bedtime or breakfast.

wigglesrock · 03/06/2015 20:22

To be fair to the school - parents were warned that this would be a one night homework and it sounds as if the homework being one night was a one off - as people have said a bit like the fecking class bloody irritating bear. It happens - it happened to my daughter this week too (she's a bit older), with regards to a piece of homework - she stayed up 15 mins later.

Sparklingbrook · 03/06/2015 20:24

I would have left it in the playground edwin. Grin

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 03/06/2015 20:25

Overnight homework should be banned until they are old enough to do it themselves

Original poster
Southwestwhippet · 03/06/2015 20:26

All the other paragraphs were written by the parents by the way. And were quite long. I didn't write anything complicated, just that butterflies breath through holes and that this wasn't a very good way to breathe which is why they are small. Another parent had written something similar about worms TBF.

Thanks for helping me put it it on perspective, I so want to get it right for DD at school I sometimes get a bit PFB which is why I posted to check.

OP posts:
DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 03/06/2015 20:28

I agree with previous posters that teachers can't be expected to keep track of domestic arrangements but it's really annoying when overnight homework is given. especially when it's something that needs printing and you have to drive to Tesco to buy a fucking ink cartridge

Wideopenspace · 03/06/2015 20:28

OP - PLEASE COME BACK

Those of us with reception age children need to know if we are inferior for only managing to sling children through school doors awake, with minimal breakfast in hair and not having practised anything...

edwinbear · 03/06/2015 20:29

I couldn't really sparkling he was so proud of it. Came in handy when it fell off the overhead luggage rack and speared a drunken youth from a male vocal choir in the head, on the way home mind.

LynetteScavo · 03/06/2015 20:29

Overnight homework is a big ask for any child... Who knows what's going in in a DCs life...visiting grandpa in hospital/granny's birthday. There are going to be times when next day home work is going to be tricky. That is the issue here, not who was collecting your DD today and whether the teacher gave it any consideration.

Original poster
Southwestwhippet · 03/06/2015 20:31

Wideopenspace - please, I don't think that is fair, I didn't post this to make anyone feel inferior. I just do what I do, I'm sorry if it has upset so many people. To be honest I don't talk about it in RL but it seemed relevant to the post. Sad

OP posts:
pieceofpurplesky · 03/06/2015 20:32

You were warned in advance. Am sure nanny could have gone on a bug hunt with her

Wideopenspace · 03/06/2015 20:33

southwest - don't be daft, I was teasing...I forget that sometimes tone is difficult to interpret via text.

:)

blink1552 · 03/06/2015 20:34

YABU to expect school to avoid sending the thing on a weds just because she is going home with someone else.

But homework with a one day turnaround is ridiculous. One day a week my DD goes from after school club to 2 hours of gym, and is late to bed. Homework just ain't happening on a thurs.

Next time there's really no need for you to write a paragraph. Either get her to do something, however minimal or inadequate you may think it is, or hand it back and say you just had no time.

Mistigri · 03/06/2015 20:35

Homework for the next day for a child who is too young to do it themselves is always unreasonable. If schools want parents to cooperate, then they need to be aware that not all kids skip home at 3.30pm to a SAH parent ready to do their child's homework for them!

I would have a word.

edwinbear · 03/06/2015 20:36

OP it makes a lot of sense to do reading in the morning, if you have time, because they're not so tired. DS goes to a childminder and is always so tired when he gets home that he often finds it hard to concentrate when we do his reading before bed. If it works well that way for you, keep doing it.

Original poster
Southwestwhippet · 03/06/2015 20:36

Ok, sorry wideopenspace, I was braced to be told I was by regarding talking to teacher but the practice stuff has derailed me a bit! I did warn I was pregnant and highly hormonal and sensitive Smile

OP posts:
Pico2 · 03/06/2015 20:38

I think that overnight homework is unreasonable. It isn't unusual to have hobbies or working parents which makes it very difficult to do homework in one night.

PenguinBollards · 03/06/2015 21:44

YANBU about overnight homework for reception-aged children that's ridiculous.

But reading and music practive every morning, and she's 4/5? That sounds pretty extreme to me. I appreciate that you say you have autistic traits, but couldn't she have missed these practice sessions just for one morning?

[as an aside, I've seen 'autistic traits' referred to on here a few times recently. Genuine question: what does it mean? Does it mean that you have been diagnosed as being on the ASD spectrum? Or is it an informal way of describing certain personality traits?]

ragged · 03/06/2015 21:54

It quite narks me that the homework was to "find a bug, draw a picture then write an interesting fact about the beast before handing back"

so the parents are printing off pictureS from the internet (why can't child draw something?!!) & writing a whole paragraph (5 words copied from parent would be okay with me). WTF. Homework supposed to be extension for children not parents. ARGH.

DeidreChambersWhatACoincidence · 03/06/2015 21:57

Agree with Mistigri 100%.

But then I am lukewarm about homework at this age anyway.

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 03/06/2015 22:06

I have quickly learned that the DCs homework schedule does not remotely tie in with my own weekly plans. Unfortunately you have to suck it up as you cannot expect the teacher to cater for 20+ parental schedules when doling out the home works.

As for practice in the morning - Shock.

Fair play to OP, you have realised you were BU and sound lovely. Good luck with your pregnancy.

ashtrayheart · 03/06/2015 22:10

Even if the teacher had noticed that it wasn't you picking dd up today, how would she have known you weren't due home til late anyway? You might have been home an hour later!

maddening · 03/06/2015 23:09

If I were paying for a nanny I would have expected her to help dd with her homework.