To ask how old your dp was when you had your last dc?

[SweetCharlotteRose]

I've just discovered - after three years and much failed fertility treatment - that I'm pregnant. I'm only 4 days late so obviously there's a good chance it will all go horribly wrong.
Even though I'm 'only' 32, dh is 40 and I've been reading all this terrifying stuff saying that if the male partner is over 40 the miscarriage rate is around 40%. Male factor is our issue as well, dh has had hardly any normal forms on sperm tests and low motility (can't swim, they've got two heads).
I've convinced myself there's no way this will turn into a baby and I reckon it's pretty much our last shot.

In addition some research suggests that the time taken to conceive can raise miscarriage risk and I'm a type 1 diabetic which raises it again, I must be practically at 100%!

Please humour me by telling me many stories of how you had successful pregnancies with partners over 40.

I don't think this is a good idea, tbh. It won't change what's going to happen and probably stress you out even more. Surely your medical team went through all this with you.

Men have been known to have kids well into their 80s don't worry too much, it won't help.

Congratulations! I hope everything goes well for you. My dh turned 40 a few weeks after our dc1 was born, and was 41 when dc2 was born. He is 8 years older than me, and is diabetic. Hope that helps!

I (male) was 45, DP 39 and 51 weeks 362 days when we conceived our first (and only).

She's a happy healthy 7 Year old now.

Risks are just that - risks, not certainties, else everyone would die as soon as they lit a ciggy (I don't smoke, but you see what I mean).

DP was terrified, but we were fortunate.

My dh was just shy of 40 when my four year old was born. I was 34.
I've never heard or read anything about male age affecting miscarriage rates. Step away from Google-it is not your friend in the first few months of pregnancy.

sorry I meant 362 days (not both)

DH was 41 when ds was born and 43 when dd was born. Both are perfect

DH was 43 then 45, no issues.

DH was 30, so a veritable youngster, but I have plenty of acquaintances who have older husbands and had their last child when their DH was 45 (usually second marriage).

DH was 40. All was fine. Fingers crossed for you.

DH was 38 with baby no. 3.

DH was 44 when our first child was born and will be 46 when our second is born. I am 32.

DH's father had a baby at 68 (long story). That baby is now a bright and healthy 8 year old.

Good luck OP - sending you lots of good luck vibes.

ps I think I want a third so with any luck DH will be 48/49 for our last baby...

My dh was 33 when our youngest was born, bil was 37 when his youngest was born and my uncle was 47 when my youngest cousin was born, all are happy and healthy children aged 2 to 6 now.

I agree with pp though in that what happened for others won't necessarily happen for you. All you can do is try to stay positive l, hard as it is, and stay away from Google.

My DH was 41 when DC3 was born. (I was 30.)
All went smoothly :-)

Dc1 due in 3.5 weeks. DP is 43, I am 35.

Dc 4 was born when dh was 41
Dc 5 was born when dh was 42
Dc6 was born when dh was 44

All normal and healthy pregnancies and births

DH was 39, with my first, 41 with my second and 48 with my third, I was 28,30 and 37 and all 3 are bright, healthy children. All the best

I'm 34, my DH is 42.

We spent 3 years trying and failing to conceive naturally and eventually had to give up and go for IVF with ICSI, as DH doesn't have good sperm. I also have an autoimmune disease which is known to raise the chances of miscarriage... Our baby boy is due next month.

I hope it works out for you too.

I can't help with the dad over 40 thing as DP was thirties with our first.

Regarding your diabetes, the most important thing in managing risk is super tight control. I got input several times per week from my diabetes nurse from the day after I got a positive pregnancy test. If you aren't getting input yet, call your team tomorrow.

Good luck. There is every reason to think this could turn out well. You are not a set of statistics, you are you!

I've been reading all this terrifying stuff saying that if the male partner is over 40 the miscarriage rate is around 40%.

I don't believe that!

DH was 45 when DD was born. He thinks he's old but DD is fab.

Good luck.

DD was DH's 50th birthday present. No one can tell how things are going to play out when it comes to fertility. I wish you lots of luck x

My DH was 50 & 51 when our two were born. They are both bright and healthy and now 6 & 5. He is also fit and healthy and says he intends to meet his grandchildren ( so the boys had better get on with it at least a little sooner than he did!).

Good luck and hope this pg works out for you. Honestly I know so many men who have become fathers in their 40s and at least two others in their 50s.

My partner was quite young when we had dd, but his dad was nearly 60 when he himself was conceived. And my own dad was over 50 when I was conceived (both second marriages). I know quite a lot of other people too whose dads were 50 or over when they had them.
Really, I know it's hard, but try not to torture yourself with this if you can.

Oh, and my mate had a baby recently and get dh is well into his late 40s, from her first pregnancy with him,