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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect DS to come home dry and given bottle at nursery?

19 replies

fluffandsnuff · 03/06/2015 18:56

DS started nursery about a month ago. When I go to pick him up, he always seems happy but he never has a bib on, even though I always pack him off with one in the morning, and sometimes he's really damp around the neck. I'm a bit worried because he's been sick with colds and infections pretty much constantly since he started nursery.

This week his key worker said that he hasn't been looking to have bottles so she hasn't given him any (at home he would have 2 during the day around nap times). He eats loads whilst he's there and the key worker says he drinks lots of water, but I'm still not sure it's ok for him to go an entire day without milk at 10 months.

AIBU to be worried about these things?

OP posts:
bobajob · 03/06/2015 18:58

Are you making your requirements clear? Have you told them you want him to wear a bib and to be offered his bottles?

DixieNormas · 03/06/2015 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
fluffandsnuff · 03/06/2015 19:03

I mentioned about the fact he doesn't come home with a bib yesterday and said I could bring more in if they needed them. They know he has 2 bottles at home (I had to provide formula and bottles to them). I questioned the lack of milk today but they just said that he wasn't looking for it and gets upset if they try and give it to him so they haven't tried- I guess I maybe need to be a bit more direct

OP posts:
Yoruba · 03/06/2015 19:04

Yanbu to expect them to do these things if requested, yabvu if you haven't made wishes clear (eg specifically asked that he wear a bib not just pack one and hope) so it depends if you have been clear. Also I guess the colds are more to do with being around other kids rather than being damp so fairly unavoidable if he's at nursery.

poocatcherchampion · 03/06/2015 19:06

Why does he need to wear a bib all day?

It sounds like they have offered him milk and he has said no?

I can't see any real issue here but I get annoyed if my childcarer uses all my plastic cups in one day so understand that some times little things seem like big things :)

DPotter · 03/06/2015 19:06

It's early days for you dropping off your DS so it's not surprising you're are worried about things. However babies always pick up loads of colds, infections when they start nursery so I doubt it has anything to do with lack of a bib. One bib never seemed to last long when my DD was little - they may take it off as it's so damp and then have nothing to replace it with.

As for drinking milk - it he's eating well and taking lots of fluids he'll be fine. Believe me if your DS wont settle for a nap without his bottle, he pretty soon get one as nursery staff would not want your DS keeping the others awake.
Don't be afraid to ask the staff questions.

EatDessertFirst · 03/06/2015 19:08

You definately need to make sure you have expressed your wishes re bibs clearly. He won't get a cold from being a bit dribbly found the neck. DC pick up every bug going until their immune system builds up to withstand 'nursery germs'.

With the milk thing, I'm a bit 'meh' as DD gave up any form of milk at 10 months and was fine. As long as your DS is eating and drinking plenty at nursery, milk morning and bedtime at home should be ample.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 03/06/2015 19:09

At 10 months, if you are not bfing, he should be on a minimum of 20floz of formula a day. Would you say he was getting that?

Original poster
fluffandsnuff · 03/06/2015 19:16

I know being damp won't cause a cold but he's already sick- prescribed an inhaler this week as he's getting wheezy.

The bib is round his neck in the morning- he's teething at the moment and drool is like a fountain! I think they take it off for naps but just don't put it back on again (plus it's probably wet- that's why I brought more in for them today, but he still wasn't wearing one at the end of the day)

If they don't give him any formula at nursery he prob gets 15oz- 8oz before bed and then he normally wakes up at some point in the night. He doesn't have any when he wakes up in the morning as he refuses breakfast if he gets formula then.

OP posts:
Unreasonableandpetty · 03/06/2015 19:23

If they have offered the formula and he won't take it what do you want them to do? I'm not being snippy genuinely asking if you have a solution to that.
If you want the bin on tell them to leave the bin on but in the big scheme of things it isn't a huge deal. The formula I'm a bit meh about as well if he is eating well and drinking plenty I wouldn't be concerned. He's not far off a year old by which time food is taking over and formula lessening. Children even babies do often behave differently in nursery at granny's or wherever is not home so he may very well be refusing the formula and opting for food. They cannot force it into him if he won't take it. If you are otherwise happy with the nursery again I wouldnt see it as a huge deal.

Original poster
fluffandsnuff · 03/06/2015 19:42

They haven't even offered the formula this week- if they'd offered it and he'd refused that would be different.

I thought maybe saying I could provide extra bibs would be a big enough hint, but I guess I won't offend anyone if I'm really direct about it.

OP posts:
InstitutionCode · 03/06/2015 19:55

I wouldn't want a child wearing a bib all day, or anything else round their neck that could get caught on something. Sounds much safer to leave it off to me.

MrsMook · 03/06/2015 20:01

Mine both started nursery at 10 months and refused milk there. The only issue was for me wasting my time expressing the stuff so they could have it if they wanted, and getting engorged at work because they had their feeds on non work days. By 10m they can get what they need in the daytime from food and water.

They'll often develop a different set of habits in nursery.

RedandYellow24 · 03/06/2015 20:12

Presumably he's having least half of that in his breakfast cereal and morning drink at nursery plus his bedtime bottle plus diary in diet. As you say he is drinking water and he prefers that to milk.
there is probable to much going on at nursery lots other adults and children lots of toys and exciting things to do so choosing not to have a bottle sounds reasonable. I can assure you if he was crying or upset and wanted a bottle then staff would give him it ASAP!

luckiestgirlintheworld · 03/06/2015 20:20

Hmm at the posters saying he shouldn't be wearing a bib all day. So it's better he walks around with a soaking wet t shirt?

InstitutionCode · 03/06/2015 20:25

I just don't think a baby needs something round his neck which can get caught on things. And yes, I'd rather he was wet than live with the consequences of that. If it's your own child you can make that call, but the nursery is responsible for someone else's so I wouldn't be surprised if they'd rather he wasn't wearing a bib other than when sitting still to eat.

The NZ govt thinks bibs are quite dangerous

Original poster
fluffandsnuff · 03/06/2015 21:26

InstitutionCode the bibs I put him in have poppers or velcro so if he did get caught on anything it would release anyway- although I completely agree with them taking them off for naps so it can't cover his mouth.

OP posts:
Sausages123 · 03/06/2015 21:29

Around here we were informed to drop to 2 bottles (minimum 500ml per day) of formula and offer snack at 10 months.

chandelierswinger · 03/06/2015 21:37

Do you know for a fact that they haven't offered the bottle to your DS? As PPs have said, IME, babies often respond differently to being in a nursery setting (or elsewhere) than being at home, and your DS may not ask for/want/be interested in his milk there. It's the same with my DD always sleeping through the night at MILs when she rarely does it at home!!!

Have you asked about the bib thing? If they take it off but don't know there are other bibs in the bag, they may not have thought to do so.

As for colds etc... sorry, but welcome to nursery life!

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