To wonder what the hell women do in toilet cubicles that takes sooooo long?

[Ashbeeee]

have always wondered about this when standing in huge loo queues.

I just go in, wee (or ahem you know) , flush and come out. Why the several minutes people? Is the entire female population constipated ?

Christ I worried so much for someone in there once that I alerted facilities management. Wee and leave FFS.

Last time this came up I was amazed at how many women went through weird compulsive germphobic rituals about covering the seat etc with paper - completely irrational. I did think it explained a lot about how some people seem to take forever.

In the past if I'd done a poo I would try and wait in there until the queue had gone as didn't want anyone going in after me! Don't really care these days

"rituals about covering the seat etc with paper "

I can sort of understand this ritual after I once went into a public men's toilet cubicle and found that the whole toilet seat had been thoughtfully 'iced gemmed' with the precision of an icing bag.

My old housemate used to take absolutely ages every time she went to the toilet. This was both at home and when we were out and about. I have no idea what she did in there. I know it wasn't always a poo, and I'm pretty sure she wasn't lining the seat as I remember we both used to laugh at another friend who did this. I imagined she was waiting for drips...

"I imagined she was waiting for drips..."

Twerking apparently remedies this age old problem.

Speaking of toilets, without fail every day someone was doing a disgusting poo in the toilet at work and I always seemed to go in just after them but I never caught who it was.

Lots of people pooed but hers were the worst. Very distinctive smell. I used to sometimes walk into her cubicle, nearly vomit, walk out to go into the one... Then get seen leaving the offending cubicle by the next person entering the room... they probably all think it was me.

I should have name changed I'm way too involved in other peoples' toilet habits.

Coke.

Seriously though, if I need a poo I'll wait until nobody is around, so I'll sit and wait until others have departed. Unless it's busy, then I'll hold it in and try again later/elsewhere.

I have endometrioses and spend more than a minute or two in the loo.

I can flood through a super plus tampon, two super plus towels and into my knickers and through jeans in a space of two minutes.

If I am in the loo for too long it is because I am cleaning up clots of blood that are streaming down my legs and soaking my underwear.

But we did have to fit a lock on the loo at work when a client did a huge dump on the floor. WTF!

Lock door, knickers down, quick pee and wipe, out, not more than 30 seconds unless life threatening problem involved! What the hell do people do in there!

Can't believe the obsession with handfuls of toilet paper, you'll live trust me! Totally paranoid about imaginary germs, bless!!

I often think this. I have found myself taken a while once or twice lately as had to express! I would never dream that's what someone was doing in there before I had a baby

This really gets on my nerves. Why do women do this? Drives me nutty. Excusing all medical reasons, there simply isn't any need for it.

I think posters should be less nosey and speculate less.

I have slight IBS and sometimes poo 3 times a day at any time of day when I need a loo fast. I also like to use Andrex wet wipes ( flushable) to make sure I'm clean.

So- coat off,( refuse to do poo wearing coat dangling around) hang on door, handbag the same, undo belt on jeans, sit down etc, wipe with loo paper, wipe with wet loo paper, flush, sometimes double flush, trouser sup, belt fastened, coat, handbag, etc.

IME it is often women who take small kids to the loo and then gave a wee themselves. And you know how long it takes little kids to go for a wee....

I am one of those perfectly normal people who either hovers or who covers the seats of public toilets with a couple bits of loo roll.

Even allowing for all that, plus coat removal/change of sanitary ware/etc I still only take a couple of minutes for a wee. A poo I will hold in until I get home unless I absolutely, desperately have to go. Some women are in there for ages - and they are completely silent. I would love to know what's going on in that cubicle.

Looking for the entrance to the Ministry of Magic.

Maybe the silent women have left their small children with their partner and are enjoying a rare moment of solitude?

I am baffled at all the people who don't take their coats off, but maybe said coats are not long/bulky. I also balk at the idea of my bags on the floor. Although quite often we are in town en famille and I will get my husband to hold my bags and coat before I go in, which makes the whole process much easier.

OOAOML - that's definitely it! They're in there with a good book and a cup of coffee

I take less than a minute. Always. Just hitch everything up. And, er, even if the loo is disgusting you just, you know, wash your hands afterwards? The queues are because there are usually only about four cubicles for a building (like a department store) used by hundreds of women at a time, not because of how long people take.

At a filthy heavy metal club once and the queue was so long we all mounted the sinks its totally fine we where all blind drunk I keep telling myself

Women don't take that long. It's just that they take longer than men. This is because a percentage of the women using the cubicles will have their period, so they'll need time to change a pad or tampon, or do some extra mop-up. And then we wipe after a wee, where men don't. So actually most women do zip in and out. But the queues are still longer than for the men's toilets.

Here ends my two bits worth ...

I wish there was a fast track toilet (health issues excused) for women who were happy with shifting their coat to one side, keeping your bag over your shoulder, not lining the seat with toilet paper, blowing your nose etc. All of these things are fine if no one else is waiting but if there's a queue, it's a little inconsiderate to take so long.

If there's a queue it might be an idea to have your coat off already and your bag ready to hang up to save holding others up. You can put your coat on again after exiting the cubicle.

Camelfinger - I think that's an excellent idea: 2 "activities" or fewer