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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what the hell women do in toilet cubicles that takes sooooo long?

160 replies

Ashbeeee · 03/06/2015 17:33

have always wondered about this when standing in huge loo queues.

I just go in, wee (or ahem you know) , flush and come out. Why the several minutes people? Is the entire female population constipated ? Confused

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SoleSource · 03/06/2015 20:41

Open door, 'undress', St, take three lots of tissue to hold upon flush handle and door, press tissue under soap dispenser and press tissue to operate tap, wash hands, use second lot of tissue to dry hands, throw tissue, use third lot of tissue to open toilet door.

BeakyMinder · 03/06/2015 20:44

It doesn't matter what women do in there. The reason we have to queue is because there are too many men's loos and not enough women's loos in public places. Do you ever see queues for the gents?

WhatIActuallySaid · 03/06/2015 20:45

I sent a text while I was in the loo the other day. It went something along the lines of

'OMG, I should never have come. This is the most boring party ever. I'm so bored I pretended I needed a pee.'

A bit later I pretended I needed another pee went to the loo again and sent the following text,

'help, I'm going to die of boredom.'

It may not sound that funny but sending those texts was the highlight of my evening Sad I used a lot of emoticons which added to the amusement factor and the time factor.

ConnortheMonkey · 03/06/2015 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConnortheMonkey · 03/06/2015 20:54

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FanFuckingTastic · 03/06/2015 20:55

I think prolapse and incontinence issues are relatively common for women, perhaps not with the same complications I have, as I developed a kidney problem also, but if my support groups are anything to go by, there are a lot of ladies with similar issues.

Patchworkpatty · 03/06/2015 20:55

while we are on the subject can someone please explain loo roll all over the floor ? Public toilets (imho at courts in London - this is common to EVERY court in London ) 10:00 spanking clean, 12:00.covered in loo paper... wtf ? Do people do this at home ? wipe their arses and just chuck it around.... someone please, if you know why, please explain....

AuntOlive · 03/06/2015 20:55

Guess gents are faster users as no cubicles to navigate in and out of in just peeing. It must be awful to use gents' loos though. Imagine just lining up next to each other with no privacy.

ConnortheMonkey · 03/06/2015 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AuntOlive · 03/06/2015 20:57

Patchwork I often see lots of loo roll on the floor (mopping up spillages?) but so far haven't come across any used paper.

shins · 03/06/2015 20:57

It mystifies me too. I've seen (young and unlikely to have health issues) women take aaaages in the filthiest, stenchiest festival loos, the kind that you hold your nose, close your eyes and pretend you aren't there kind of hellholes. I'm pretty functional myself!

catsmother · 03/06/2015 21:06

If you have IBS you get a dreadful, painful, urge to go meaning you have to rush to the nearest loo - no matter how unpleasant it is - and once there, are literally trapped for as long as it takes ....

.... trouble is, it can take absolutely ages for anything to happen though in the meantime you get severe pain quite akin to contractions ... then you might get a bit of relief, but the pain tells you there's more to come so you sit there, and wait, and wait ..... until you eventually go again. And while this is happening you often feel terribly nauseous as well, sometimes to the point of throwing up.

This 'cycle' of 'stop and go' can take up to an hour - sometimes even longer. Believe me, it's the last thing anyone would want to do, stuck in a grotty, perhaps dirty, perhaps freezing cold, loo in that condition, usually all too well aware of the queue outside. It's even worse when it's a small space outside and maybe just a couple of cubicles - you feel humiliated and extremely self conscious with others waiting so close by. But can do absolutely nothing about it and the same must be true for others with bowel related conditions - many of which are far far more serious than IBS.

So apologies, and yes, if you're waiting to go and the queue is moving very slowly it's frustrating - but something like I've described might be one reason why. As others have said however, women's loos often need to have more cubicles - I can't imagine many women deliberately take longer in public loos than they need to - but sometimes that need is genuinely time consuming.

Libitina · 03/06/2015 21:17

Those using toilet paper for flushing/handles etc...., how clean do you think it is with the spray from the toilet when is flushes?

Shock
Ashbeeee · 03/06/2015 21:24

Well I had no idea that I'd duplicated a post Blush but still seems a lot of toilet-based interest. and I have to admit that poo jokes are my favourite. Grin

I've got Crohns so had to get over my public loo aversion many years ago - choice of incontinence vs nasty loo is no contest. She you've gotta go you've gotta go.

I'm just glad that we don't have to share with men. My DH a was in the pub loo, went for a pee, man comes in, goes to the cubicle for some serious 'business' and sparks up a a conversation that goes something's like:

man: 'you see that goal in the city match?
DH: 'erm, noooo'
man: ' it was' 'offside' 'wasn't it?'
DH:

Eish

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Ashbeeee · 03/06/2015 21:28

Sorry about the typos. I'm tired and my iPad is playing up. And my typing's shit. I do know how to use apostrophes properly. Honest.

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MMcanny · 03/06/2015 21:30

Send texts, check/update FB. Sorry!

Ilovefluffysheep · 03/06/2015 21:32

Use a catheter, sadly all the cleaning, anti-baccing hands, using the actual thing all take quite a while.

Will be even worse later this year when my bladder is removed and I get to catheter through a funky channel they are making through my belly button into my new pouch, from what I've read the emptying process can take a while!

WanderWomble · 03/06/2015 21:36

I take my coat off if I'm wearing one. Mostly because I tend to wear long coats, and they can get in the way of wiping.

MMcanny · 03/06/2015 21:39

Oh yeah and if you have a big dump and it won't flush! Further to an earlier comment, I have seen massive queues for the boys' toilet in gay clubs and no queue at all for the women's there. Which reminds me of another thing that can cause a cubicle to be engaged - having sex.

TribbleNamedDave · 03/06/2015 21:45

Personally I'm communing with the spirit world. If I get the right stall, I can hear the goldfish very clearly.

grapejuicerocks · 03/06/2015 21:46

I suspect the paper on the floor is a result of the loo seat lining. You have to do it in several lengths and they sometime fall off the seat. I pick them up. I suspect other people don't always.
I only line for a poo though. I hover for a wee.
I can't be doing with taking off a coat. I just scrunch it up. Scrunching up clothes, holding up hems of trousers, hovering then wiping is a considerable gymnastic feat, especially when there is nowhere to hang your bag and you are juggling that too.

AuntOlive · 03/06/2015 21:50

Ashbeee yes dp has often reported high incidences of 'just farting away' as he puts it. Personally I always try to let any wind out gently in a public loo. And don't tend to strike up a conversation with next cubicle user!

ShatnersBassoon · 03/06/2015 21:57

Pooing or changing sanitary towel/tampon.

DH can take bloody ages in a pubic toilet if he has to pass solids. I only ever go wees when I'm out, so I'm usually very fast in and out. We're so contrary.

shouldnthavesaid · 04/06/2015 05:58

There's a pub I used to frequent as a student that deals well with sex - sign on last cubicle says 'this cubicle only to be used for quiet sexual encounters'.

Ashbeeee · 04/06/2015 06:05

fluffysheep. Wow. You will be a bionic woman ! That's an amazing piece of tech. But I'm sure you'd rather not need it Sad Hope the surgery goes well Flowers

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