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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU.. Hen weekend related

83 replies

Dothetwist · 02/06/2015 19:57

My friend is getting married and is having a big hen weekend.

13 people have been invited and everyone has paid £200 towards a hotel, an activity, a meal and club entry.

There are around 2 individuals (myself and one other person) who only know the bride and noone else within the 'party'

There have been a few bumps along the way, and more expense for example buying two quite expensive outfits (including specific shoe styles) and then the cost of additional food / drink on the actual weekend. All fine i am happy to go along with as i adore my friend,

However.. I asked friends sister who is organising the whole thing about how the rooms are working, I've never done this before but another friend said when people had no link to anyone that individual would usually get given their own room.

She came back to me saying i would be sharing with someone, i replied okay that's fine aslong as it's a twin room as i would be very uncomfortable sharing a bed with someone I've never met on a hen weekend where this person would quite possibly be very drunk.

She's come back saying it's a double bed, AIBU to refuse to share and ask to be moved either with my friend that i know or to a room by myself..

A few of them have their own rooms, i.e. the ones who have organised, they all know each other so i feel very put out with the arrangements.

I will gracefully accept if i am wrong.. And go buy a blow up bed..

OP posts:

Original poster

Dothetwist · 02/06/2015 22:45

thecats the hen has chosen who she wants to share with, so a bit out of the question.

I hope i have now been given a room, sister said that she's done some swapping around. If that's not the case i will be very annoyed when we get there

OP posts:

Horsemad · 02/06/2015 22:56

Completely missing the point here, but when are people going to see sense and just do normal Hen/Stag parties, FGS? What's with all these expensive weekends away?

The world's gone mad.

CrapBag · 02/06/2015 22:56

Thats good to hear OP.

I hate it when some people expect a group like this to fall in line without consulting them at all. If they aren't happy about it then tough shit. They managed to sort out their own rooms for them alone. Can't have been that difficult to change one for you.

hossenfeffer · 02/06/2015 23:12

OP, do you really want to go? It's summer - see what rolls.

I've been camping and there's the 'South Fork' of the outfits paying the same as me for squeezing my little tent and my little boy in between.

If everyone worried about where they're going to sleep tonight no one would ever leave home.

DustBunnyFarmer · 02/06/2015 23:24

I agree horsemad - its bonkers!

Icimoi · 02/06/2015 23:32

For goodness sake - you're expected to fork out £200 for the hotel and activities, another £100 minimum for special outfits and shoes, plus drinks and possibly meals, plus other incidental expenses. And then they won't even confirm that you have your own room!

I swear, this whole Hen Night thing is ludicrous. What became of the tradition of making it one night when he bride and her friends go to a local restaurant and maybe a pub or club afterwards? It's a perfectly good way to celebrate and doesn't entail bankrupting your friends and making them do things that half of them don't want to do anyway.

ApeMan · 02/06/2015 23:42

It amazes me that people keep searching for ways to make large expensive weddings even worse.

Just sounds like a load of expensive, annoying bollocks to me, with the expensive night sleeping in the bath, the crowning glory.

ExitPursuedByABear · 02/06/2015 23:49

I've never been on a hen do.

I am 56.

I doubt I will be going on one.

DustBunnyFarmer · 02/06/2015 23:55

If I ever have the misfortune to be invited on one of these monstrous money wasting jollies I will be declining (politely of course).

choli · 02/06/2015 23:59

God be with the days when hen party was going out for a few drinks and singing a few bawdy songs with your closest friends.

MidniteScribbler · 03/06/2015 00:57

I think sharing a room with people is fair if everyone is paying the same, but you should never be expected to share a bed. But there should be the option of having a single room and paying the single supplement of whatever it costs.

All this secrecy is just bullshit though. It's a bloody hens weekend, so unless you're planning on robbing the royal mint, there's not need for it all to be so secretive. I bet you're subbing the organisers.

MrsOB · 03/06/2015 02:01

I went on my future sister in laws hen do (my then boyfriend's brother was getting married), I had to share a room and double bed with my future mother in law!!

Was mortified, had only been going out with him for 6 months and had met her twice before

MrsOB · 03/06/2015 02:01

I went on my future sister in laws hen do (my then boyfriend's brother was getting married), I had to share a room and double bed with my future mother in law!!

Was mortified, had only been going out with him for 6 months and had met her twice before

MrsOB · 03/06/2015 02:02

I went on my future sister in laws hen do (my then boyfriend's brother was getting married), I had to share a room and double bed with my future mother in law!!

Was mortified, had only been going out with him for 6 months and had met her twice before

MrsOB · 03/06/2015 02:02

I went on my future sister in laws hen do (my then boyfriend's brother was getting married), I had to share a room and double bed with my future mother in law!!

Was mortified, had only been going out with him for 6 months and had met her twice before

MrsOB · 03/06/2015 02:04

So traumatising I posted 4 times!!!

Original poster

Dothetwist · 03/06/2015 13:37

It does seem extravagant, especially with the cost of actually attending the wedding a month later.

I didn't even have a hen weekend

OP posts:

Theycallmemellowjello · 03/06/2015 13:45

Hm this is a tricky one as although it shouldn't be a problem for you to get your own room, the person you are sharing with will now have to pay extra two. Unfortunately I think that you would have to offer to pay the extra for your own room and the extra for the other woman to have her own room. Or find someone else in the party who is willing to pay for themselves to be alone. Ideally they should have checked with you before booking.

ByeByeButterfly · 03/06/2015 14:07

God I'm having a hen do in July--

Meal and drinks!

I'm 26 so of the younger generation.

The mind boggles!

DomesticBlisster · 03/06/2015 14:07

Id rather be dead than sleep tit to tit with anyone. YANBU.

Summeblaze · 03/06/2015 14:08

YANBU.

A few years ago I went to the hen night of an ex work colleague (I had left a few years earlier to have DD).

I knew her and another 4 people who I also worked with. I was looking forward to catching up with them. When we arrived I was told that I was in a room with the brides future sister in law who knew nobody. It was a twin room and she was very nice but it completely ruined my weekend and wished I hadn't spent the £200 to go. It was awkward getting changed, making small talk and going to sleep. I am a little shy when I initially meet people so it was strained. I also felt as if I had to stay with her as she didn't know anybody. I hardly spoke to my friends and felt like it was a case of 'she doesn't work with us anymore so we can't be bothered to chat to her'. Very boring weekend which ultimately led to me drifting from them all.

IggyStrop · 03/06/2015 14:53

The sharing a bed with someone wouldn't bother me too much (unless it was my MIL, MrsOB!) but it's not a given that everyone will be cool with that.

Buying two sets of outfits and matching fecking shoes would irritate me beyond measure!

Rainbunny · 03/06/2015 15:51

YANBU I am a very light sleeper (I even need earplugs when I'm sleeping alone) and I have had my fill of sleepless nights when sharing hotel rooms with friends. I've even slept in the bathtub to get some peace, not recommended! (Brief aside - I'm actually amazed at how many people snore and don't realise it!) I now make it clear I will pay extra for my own room on such occasions from the get go.

Bunbaker · 03/06/2015 16:02

Bridezillas only have hen weekends like this because the rest of the hen party go along with it.

All the hen dos I have been to have been a meal out and a few drinks and that is it.

If I had been invited to an expensive hen weekend away and been told what to wear I would just have politely declined and suggested a meal out instead. But I don't have any problems with being assertive.

Devora · 03/06/2015 16:18

ExitPursuedByABear, I am 51 and have been to one hen night. One. And that was more than enough.

Our generation had it easy

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