AIBU.. Hen weekend related

[Dothetwist]

My friend is getting married and is having a big hen weekend.

13 people have been invited and everyone has paid £200 towards a hotel, an activity, a meal and club entry.

There are around 2 individuals (myself and one other person) who only know the bride and noone else within the 'party'

There have been a few bumps along the way, and more expense for example buying two quite expensive outfits (including specific shoe styles) and then the cost of additional food / drink on the actual weekend. All fine i am happy to go along with as i adore my friend,

However.. I asked friends sister who is organising the whole thing about how the rooms are working, I've never done this before but another friend said when people had no link to anyone that individual would usually get given their own room.

She came back to me saying i would be sharing with someone, i replied okay that's fine aslong as it's a twin room as i would be very uncomfortable sharing a bed with someone I've never met on a hen weekend where this person would quite possibly be very drunk.

She's come back saying it's a double bed, AIBU to refuse to share and ask to be moved either with my friend that i know or to a room by myself..

A few of them have their own rooms, i.e. the ones who have organised, they all know each other so i feel very put out with the arrangements.

I will gracefully accept if i am wrong.. And go buy a blow up bed..

[Anothernumber99]

Not meaning to trivialise illness - probably better just to be honest on second thoughts. Apologies.

[Icimoi]

I would categorically refuse to share a room with a stranger, let alone a bed. I would insist on being told the name of the hotel so as to sort this out failing which I would refuse to go at all.

[evelynj]

Yanbu. Even if they wouldn't mind sharing a bed with someone they've never met, how they can think it's better to make you feel uncomfortable than 2 of them share is beyond me.

[MissDemelzaCarne]

YANBU at all.

[DefinitelyMaybeBaby]

YANBU and I reckon the sister knows deep down how uncool the situation she is putting you in is. I bet she wouldn't be happy if it was her. I wouldn't let it go!!! and don't worry about upsetting the bride, just go through her sister and don't mention to the bride. If her sister tells her then she is upsetting her not you!

[Laloue23]

Happened to me, but I was broke so couldn't even pay my way out. The expense kept going up and up, and if I tried to say "not for me, thanks" to anything ( matching false nails for all of us???) I got poopoohed. Shared a room and a bed with a total stranger(I'm a size 16 and overweight she was about a 6)hated the whole weekend, no sleep, and at least £400 poorer. Had to borrow money on the final night and pay back later that week when I got paid.Awful. Ended up leaving early at the end, whole thing controlled by two bridesmaids, one of whom just wanted "everything". Still love the bride though and glad she enjoyed it. Rant over...stand your ground for a twin and if you have to and are able to pay your way out of it, then do so, your whole time will be so much more relaxing, after all, you're paying to be there, time off is precious.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I would disagree with that and tell the organiser you will book a Travelodge.

[AyMamita]

I wouldn't really care about sharing a bed with a same-sex stranger, presuming we'd be a bit pissed and bond during getting ready to go out etc but I would still be saying no to this plan on principle because the organisers are taking the absolute piss! YANBU.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

£200. For one night and you don't even get the luxury of having the bed to yourself.
I certainly would not want to share a bed with a strange women, a strange man mind I could be persuaded

[Sconejamcream]

I bet you are subbing the other girls, and not just with the shared room.

[DoJo]

I reckon they don't want to give you the name of the hotel because then you'll find out how much the rooms really cost. What are you actually getting for this £200?

[WowProjectingMuch]

YANBU - I won't share beds with anyone other than my DH. Not because I'm shy or prudish but simply because I wouldn't sleep a wink.

I wouldn't have gone on a hen night that involved that amount of money being spent where I didn't have any control.

[Dothetwist]

For the £200 each for 13 people we get...

Transport in a mini bus

Hotel for one night

Meal in a restaurant which we've already selected our foods from the menu works out about £10 per head (food only)

A planned activity - no idea what, but I've had to purchase an outfit and shoes i will never wear again for

A club VIP reservation area - also had to buy a special outfit and shoes as there is a theme to the evening

I have no idea if there is a drinks kitty, or we need to buy our own drinks.

And i also presume i need to buy my own lunch and breakfast on both days.

Hotel checkout is 12pm and the home collection transport isn't until 4pm so no idea what we are doing in that space of time.

[rookiemere]

YANBU.
I go away with a close friend and try to get a two bed roomed apartment . I'll share a room with a friend when skiing but a bed -just no.
I'd pull out if I were you or bring a roll mat if you don't want to upset the bride.

[CrapBag]

YANBU.

I went to a hen weekend. There were 3 separate groups of people that knew each other and 3 lots of accommodation. In 'my' group there were 7 of us and 1 lot of accommodation slept 7. No brainer as we were the bigger group anyway.

Bride (who organised it) informed us that she was mixing us groups around (not asking us, telling us) for the accommodation because a relative of hers was larger and needed her own bed so had to be in 'our' accommodation plus she thought we should get to know each other . This is someone who always likes to get her own way. Luckily there were enough of us to say "uh no, don't think so" so she had to relent. I didn't want to share an apartment with strangers, let alone a bed. It would ruin the whole thing for me. There was also the issue of a double bed as well as most of us didn't want the double room. Thankfully 2 didn't care so they did share but the following time we decided to go again for a jolly, the double bed issue was more of a problem. A rare occasion where I stuck to my guns.

You should too OP. They are being utterly unreasonable and ridiculous, especially not to tell you where it is. Ok the bride doesn't want to know but that's no reason for you not to. They just don't want you interfering with their plans.

Would be a total deal breaker for me!

[CrapBag]

That £200 doesn't seem to be getting you much. There is another reason they aren't telling you where it is. Probably because you'll discover the real cost of the rooms.

[SquiddlyDiddlyDoo]

YANBU. I would go mad about this.

If other people who know other members of the group well have their own rooms, then its clearly possible to organise that. As such, I would be asking how much extra I need to pay to get my own room.

I know people don't like to rock the boat too much because of the bride but for gods sake, if this was my hen do I would want to know that it was this cliquey and shoddily organised so I could sort it out. I'd have a much better time knowing all my friends are comfortable!

[VanitasVanitatum]

I shared a double with a stranger on a hen recently and it was ok, but a bit awkward not wanting to move/breathe loudly at night etc, but I am fairly relaxed about personal space and getting changed in front of people - if I or she were uncomfortable about that it would have been a nightmare.

YANBU OP but I don't have any helpful suggestions, apart from refusing to share and insisting on the hotel name!

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

Oh gawd- You poor thing!!

[Dothetwist]

Well, i think i have been given my own room but from the snotty reply i think I've upset the organisers.

I am researching train tickets to see how much an earlier return would be

I wouldn't mind so much, but I've had more involvement in the wedding planning than the bridesmaids have had so i kind of feel a bit peeved there's been no acknowledgement for my efforts.

Lesson learnt... Say no to group gatherings and stick to lone trips in future.

[WineIsMyMainVice]

Yanbu

[olgaga]

Crikey I'm so pleased these kind of Hen Nights.Weekends/Weeks weren't a thing when I was young. Matching shoe etc? Really?

It sounds like the kind of peer pressure my DD is occasionally subject to at school.

It's puzzling and a bit sad to hear these kind of demands are made, let alone indulged.

[TheCatsMother99]

YANBU at all!!!

I'd insist that the organiser calls the hotel and makes sure you've got a twin room.... Never known a hotel that doesn't do them so surely there will be one available!! If she doesn't want to give out hotel details so you can do it yourself then she needs to pull her finger out and do it for u.

I'd rather take a blow up mattress & sleep on that than a bed with a stranger... That's just weird & I can't imagine the other person would be overly happy either. But then why should you sleep on a blow up when you've paid the same as others?!

Could you share with the hen?

[Stubbed]

Actually I'd say it probably wouldn't bother me. Have done lots of communal living in the past. I'd be relaxed about sharing a bed.

The problem with hen weekends is when the bridesmaids just get carried away and the expense goes on and on. I would say either decline or suck it up...