seats on public transport

[sassyandsixty]

OK, I know I'm old-fashioned, but is it unreasonable to expect children to give up seats for older people these days? During half-term, a crowd of children rushed onto the train and grabbed seats that older people were aiming for. They then complained when asked (very politely) to give them up. Parents were around, but didn't even try to get their kids to stand - only gave us the evil eye. What is going on here?

[Mehitabel6]

You don't need to give up a seat for a very small child- they are not unaccompanied so they sit on a knee- that is why they travel free.

[Binkybix]

I would definitely expect a tiny child to go on the knee unless the adult is heavily pregnant.

[Gottagetmoving]

The bus I used to get to work was full of high school kids on seats. Most were not sat nicely,...they were kneeling an turning round to talk to mates. They were throwing stuff, shouting, swearing,..and generally being obnoxious. Adults were standing.
I would sometimes get on the bus and had to tell a 'child' to move their holdall/bag off a seat so I could sit down. They didn't even think their bag should give up a seat! The child would look at me as if I had told him to chop his legs off.
I doubt any of these children had Bern taught courtesy by their parents. They were spoilt, self centred and had a sense of self entitlement.

[Gottagetmoving]

Been, not Bern, sorry.

[balletnotlacrosse]

When I was a child the bus conductor would order children to stand up so that older and middle aged people could sit down.
It didn't make me feel like a second rate citizen. It just instilled a sense of respect and lack of entitlement and even as teenagers we knew not to take over the whole bus with our shouting and flinging things around and banging like maniacs on the window when we saw a friend on the pavement and hogging seats for our bags and coats. All that crap behaviour starts somewhere.

[TeddTess]

I disagree Flabulous. I am in my 50s and I would like a 12-year-old to offer their seat to me. I wouldn't necessarily accept it but I think it shows consideration and manners.

get over yourself.

[MrsKCastle]

"You don't need to give up a seat for a very small child- they are not unaccompanied so they sit on a knee- that is why they travel free."

It's often necessary to give up a seat for small children, if they get on when the bus/tube is already crowded. The adult may sit and put them on their knee- but it's the child who requires the seat.

In my case, my small child won't sit on my knee- she will share a seat with her sister. I don't need to sit, but they do.

[Mehitabel6]

Fair enough- if they share a seat and you stand it is the same outcome.

[NewFlipFlops]

Can't wait for some MNers to hit their 50s. Talk about reaping what you sow.

YANBU, OP.

[DancingDinosaur]

I'm pretty close to my 50's. And I certainly would not want or need a 12 year old child to give up his seat for me.

[NewFlipFlops]

Good stuff, DD. What about when you're 60 and he's around 22? He won't be in the habit of standing and you will be invisible.

It's a good habit to inculcate in children. I'm getting really tired now of seeing little groups of teenaged madams occupying all six priority seats while all the surrounding oldies are too cowed to ask for what should be offered to them.

[DancingDinosaur]

What about when I'm 60? Unless I have a disability or am too frail to stand I wouldn't expect anyone to stand for me.
I would stand and ask my children to stand for people who actually needed a seat, But I would expect healthy adults who are able to stand to offer that too. equally. Rather than having the expectation that a child should stand, just because they're a child.....

[ragged]

I thought respect was supposed to be earnt.
Courtesy for additional needs should be extended to all ages, no?
Matter of 'courtesy' not 'respect' imho.

[NewFlipFlops]

I think there's a difference between 40s and 60+, and between 60+ and older. Unfortunately it's not a difference that a child or adolescent is going to notice. At some point in your life, DD, you will stand next to a priority seat and wonder what the hell went wrong.

[DancingDinosaur]

Maybe so, but it wouldn't be because I'd not taught my own children manners. As they would stand up for someone who needed it, if a well mannered adult hadn't already beaten them to it that is!

[NewFlipFlops]

That's good you taught them. I make a point of thanking kids who do jump to their feet (not for me, yet!) as it's getting rare.

[DancingDinosaur]

I think its rare for adults to get up tbh, and its been like that for a long time, certainly the last 20 odd years imo. I remember getting on a tube with crutches, and not one single person stood for me, they just looked and buried their heads in their newspapers. So I guess if I get to my 60,s plus and no one stands for me, well nothing much will have changed then.

[NewFlipFlops]

That's shocking - I always got tube seats when on crutches (usually from men in work gear & from the occasional suit, never other women). I always stand for anyone physically compromised; it was part of my mum's training!

[DancingDinosaur]

Maybe I just got on the tube on a bad day that day!

[TeddTess]

There is a world of difference between teenagers (or anyone fit and healthy) occupying priority seats and not moving for those that need them


and children on a long train/bus journey giving up their seat for someone "older" but more than physically capable of standing out of "respect".