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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed about the state my toilet was left in...

493 replies

Lillamyy1 · 01/06/2015 06:18

I spent quite a while cleaning the bathroom yesterday morning, which made me even more annoyed, although I always keep the toilet clean...
A friend came round for a few hours and when her DP came to pick her up he went to use the bathroom and was there quite a while. When I went up there 10 or so minutes later I was hit by the most godawful stench, although to be fair to him we haven't any air freshened and he had opened the window, but oh my god the state of the toilet bowl! Skidder central. It was absolutely rank.
Surely it's common curtesy to flush a couple more times and pour some bleach down to try and get rid of the evidence if you've had a massive skiddy shit at someone else's house (and in fact your own house!) We have one of those toilet duck brushes with disposable heads which is in the cupboard so he couldn't have known it was there but the bleach is right next to the bloody loo!

OP posts:
knickernicker · 03/06/2015 13:30

I am a teacher and horrified about the vile skids female teachers leave behind. This morning I had to clean another teacher's skids before I started my business.

What is wrong with people? And you don't need a toilet brush, just toilet paper. I had to get in the bowl to remove their filth.

On toilet brushes - I remove excess with toilet paper, then bleach, wait, then use the toilet brush with the bleach. Don't want a pooey brush but theydo have their uses.

TedAndLola · 03/06/2015 13:31

Um, it was a direct quote from you that it's "not acceptable" for someone at your house to use your toilet. According to Yankee half of the thread agrees with you so I'm interested to see who, as you're the only one as far as I can see.

ItsRainingInBaltimore · 03/06/2015 13:33

But you are all missing the point. He may have been a messy fucker who didn't much care, or he may have been embarrassed at having to leave it like that, but didn't have much choice. We will never know, will we? If the OP had left a loo brush, wipes, air freshener, anything, then he may well have removed all evidence, but she didn't. Tipping bleach down won't have done much in ten minutes to remove the marks, without something to scrub them with. He may well have tried using the bleach for all we know.

I find it amazing that people are prepared to get so worked up about how awful and filthy and lazy bloke this bloke apparently was, instead of just shrugging and saying 'oh well, if you'd left some efficient cleaning methods and materials behind I'm sure he would have dealt with it.'

To me there's no argument to be had here on whether he is lazy/filthy or not, because he was left with little option! If he'd ignored the loo brush then by all means, let's call him all the names under the sun, but based on what the OP has said, this is a non-story as far as I'm concerned.

Icimoi · 03/06/2015 13:35

I sort of see your point, Raining, but I would have thought he could at least have removed any marks above the waterline using loo paper.

Songlark · 03/06/2015 13:35

Those weren't my words, you deliberately missed out the bit that said, "unless he has bowel problems". But if it makes your argument sound better....
He was rude, ignorant and dirty, but if you're fine with that I don't really care.

ItsRainingInBaltimore · 03/06/2015 13:37

I can't believe that so many people don't know that bleach totally dissolves poo if you squirt some directly on - its what I always do.

that would work if it's above the water line, but it would probably take longer than 10-15 minutes to completely dissolve, and even then it would only disappear once you re-flush. Should he have stayed in there for another 20 minutes, just waiting….?

The OP said they were skid marks, no poo splatters up high. Skid marks tend to be below the water line. Squirting bleach into the water would not have made much difference for at least an hour or so, unless it was scrubbed with a loo brush, and re-flushed.

TedAndLola · 03/06/2015 13:37

Those weren't my words, you deliberately missed out the bit that said, "unless he has bowel problems". But if it makes your argument sound better....
He was rude, ignorant and dirty, but if you're fine with that I don't really care.

Yes they were your words, and I included the bit about bowel problems, you need to read more closely before you accuse others of twisting words! Grin

Most people would find it entirely acceptable that someone, with or without bowel problems, uses another person's toilet. Until Yankee comes up with her links to the 50% of posters that agree with you, that stands.

NotBanksy · 03/06/2015 13:37

I've just skimmed through the thread so apologies if this has ready been asked and answered.

But, how do mnetters ,without toilet brushes, cope when someone blocks the toilet with an epic deposit? Do you poke it with a handful of wadded up paper and hope it goes away?

Honestly, I'd be greatly that all he left was skids...

Songlark · 03/06/2015 13:38

I agree raining I've given my opinion as others have but some people just cannot accept other people's opinions without turning things into an argumentment.

CrystalMcPistol · 03/06/2015 13:39

He was rude, ignorant and dirty, but if you're fine with that I don't really care.

The poor bugger had few options when it came to cleaning the toilet bowl, there weren't many tools at his disposal. Just let it go, I think you're becoming a bit obsessed.

Songlark · 03/06/2015 13:42

No you didnt include that bit. You are also implying that I have a problem with people using my toilet. No I don't. The circumstances of this were not the same.

Icimoi · 03/06/2015 13:42

Oh stop making excuses for the dirty sod Icimol . The odds are quite remote of that and you know it.

Songlark, I'm not making any excuses for his failure to clean up. What seems to me, and obviously the majority of people, is that it really is not dirty to use a loo for its normal purpose.

And, as is also borne out by the views and, presumably, experience of people on this thread, it is not in the least uncommon to need to do a poo and be unable to wait, whether because of eating something dodgy, or simply because that is the way some people's digestive system works. I've certainly had fairly recent experience of sitting through a meeting getting gradually more and more aware that I needed to go but thinking I would be able to wait till I got home; but by the end of the meeting I knew that I just couldn't and shot into those loos like a bat out of hell. I cannot believe that anyone would have condemned me as inherently dirty because of that. How do you know that this man hadn't had a similar experience - say, driving around, knowing that he had to pick up his partner, being unable to reach a loo beforehand, thinking it could wait, realising it couldn't ...

Songlark · 03/06/2015 13:43

Oh dear, I want to let it go but it's a bit hard when I'm being attacked. Why are you trying to prolong the thread.

TedAndLola · 03/06/2015 13:45

No you didnt include that bit. You are also implying that I have a problem with people using my toilet. No I don't. The circumstances of this were not the same.

Yes I did! Please go and look at the post, it's there in black and white!

I'm not implying anything, you said very clearly that it's not acceptable for someone to decide they need a shit in your toilet. You really can't backtrack on that unless you completely mistyped the sentence.

CrystalMcPistol · 03/06/2015 13:45

You're being attacked? No, your arguments are being challenged.

You certainly have a flair for the dramatic though.

Songlark · 03/06/2015 13:46

Just let it go, I'm sick of it and tbh you sound like you are determined to keep it going. Does it really matter?

Icimoi · 03/06/2015 13:47

Songlark, perhaps you could explain your position, then? You seem to be saying you are OK with people using your loo if they are in your house for some time; or if they have bowel problems; but not if they're only visiting for a short time, even if they are people you know - and you refuse to engage with the possibility that sometimes people can't wait even if they don't have ongoing bowel problems. Why is that?

Songlark · 03/06/2015 13:47

Ted Stop twisting my words. You know very well what I was implying. Leave it.

Icimoi · 03/06/2015 13:49

But, how do mnetters ,without toilet brushes, cope when someone blocks the toilet with an epic deposit?

Hope to god there's a handy bucket or bin you can use for the trick of pouring water down it from a great height?

Gabilan · 03/06/2015 13:49

You'd think it would be fairly simple.

It is reasonable to use somebody's toilet as a toilet. It is reasonable to do this whether you've nipped in for 10 minutes or are staying for several weeks. It is reasonable to leave it in the state that you found it.

It is unreasonable to expect somebody to clean it without leaving them the means to do so in an obvious manner (i.e. not shut away somewhere they might not want to look).

Unfortunately the greatest source of disagreement appears to be over what constitute reasonable cleaning materials. I had always thought, strangely enough, that loo paper was primarily for wiping your bum and not really for cleaning the loo. I also think it's reasonable to have a loo brush and for this brush not to be sparkling clean as I am using it on my loo, not my teeth. However, the Mumsnet jury is not only out but enjoying an extended stay in a hotel at the taxpayers' expense. No idea who's cleaning the loos whilst they're there.

TedAndLola · 03/06/2015 13:50

This is unbelievable, I'm not twisting your words!! I'm quoting YOUR EXACT WORDS. And what they say is that it's not acceptable for someone to use your toilet. If that's not what you meant I have NO IDEA what you were "implying".

Songlark · 03/06/2015 13:50

How many times do I have to say this. If someone has bowel problems you would expect them to be well used to cleaning up after themselves. So where didn't I acknowledge that?

Songlark · 03/06/2015 13:52

Ted You have again deliberately missed out other words that were imperative to that sentence.

TedAndLola · 03/06/2015 13:53

Ted You have again deliberately missed out other words that were imperative to that sentence.

Which ones, exactly? Can you stop being coy and say outright what you were "implying", or is it the case that you actually meant exactly what you said and you now realise you can't argue it convincingly?

CrystalMcPistol · 03/06/2015 13:53

You mean if people with bowel problems reach for the toilet brush and find there's none available they should then be able to harness the power of their mind to magically erode the poo stains?

And people other than those with bowel problems leave stains on toilets from time to time you know. Poo, it's a bit messy.