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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if the school says that girls can no longer wear shorts to school, then they should say the same for boys?

94 replies

MrsSchadenfreude · 31/05/2015 08:39

DD1's school has no uniform. She got sent back to the dorm last week because she was told that shorts were no longer permitted for girls at school. They are not "short shorts" with her arse hanging out, and she was wearing thick tights underneath them. They have since banned shorts for girls but not for boys. The boys seem to get away with wearing what they like" vest tops and shorts, T shirts with inappropriate slogans and pictures (eg a photo of a woman's breasts, a cartoon of the cookie monster with a naked woman thrown over his shoulder), whereas girls get sent to change for any minor infraction - eg a skirt that is slightly above knee length.

They have no dress code as such (we have checked). AIBU to think they should bring one in for both sexes, if they are going to police the girls so rigorously?

(We have already had one run in with the girl, as the girls were expected to do their own laundry, whereas the boys get it done for them, and have won that battle...)

OP posts:
Golfhotelromeofoxtrot · 31/05/2015 08:44

Whereabouts are you, OP? Do these rules reflect the modesty expectations of the country you live in?

Golfhotelromeofoxtrot · 31/05/2015 08:45

FWIW Girls having to wash clothes when boys don't, and boys being able to wear clothes with nudity on them but girls can't wear skirts above the knee would be enough to remove my child from that school.

ChampagneBabyCakes · 31/05/2015 08:45

Can you find another school? Seems sad your DD has to fight this inequality at school.

MrsSchadenfreude · 31/05/2015 08:46

LOL - we're in UK.

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 31/05/2015 08:47

Can't remove her now - she's in her final years.

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 31/05/2015 08:47

I agree with you, but sadly it sounds like the school have some inbuilt double standards. I would raise it with them and mention the images on t-shirts.

DosDuchas · 31/05/2015 08:48

I don't know any primsry schools with no uniform.

SoldierBear · 31/05/2015 08:50

A UK school expects the girls to do laundry but not the boys?
With that sort of blatant discrimination I'd be worried about what else was going on that was not so obvious.
Is this a boarding school that you chose for your DD?

Golfhotelromeofoxtrot · 31/05/2015 08:53

Is this primary or secondary? When you say final years, how long has she got left to go?

You might win this battle, but she'll still be educated in an environment that values the males over females.

Fromparistoberlin73 · 31/05/2015 08:55

what the hell school is this? are you paying for this shit? raise hell, you only have a year to go OP.

this is not far off from the North london faith school that recently banned mothers from driving kids to school. shocking , I say this not to censure you OP in any way but this is vile- and not normal!

paxtecum · 31/05/2015 08:55

How old is your DD?

And you are paying for this education?

pinkdelight · 31/05/2015 08:56

Must be older years of secondary boarding school surely, with the saucy t-shirts. Sounds like quite an unusual school and maybe that's what you signed up to when you chose it. Suspect it's very different to a state school where you can kick up a big fuss. They can probably make their own archaic rules up to a point.

paxtecum · 31/05/2015 08:57

Why would you send her there at all - though I suppose you didn't know about the laundry until she was already there?

GlitzAndGigglesx · 31/05/2015 09:01

My primary and secondary school were both no uniform and girls were faced with the same problems. It's disgusting. How about teaching male teachers and boys how to control themselves? In the summer the boys would always go topless in the playground but how dare a girl show some leg without being called out for it

YsabellStoHelit · 31/05/2015 09:01

Any school with no uniform I would expect rules to be:
No swears/nudity/offensive stuff on clothing.
No seethrough clothing unless over another decent top.
No underwear on show.

Maybe also
No midriffs
No mini skirts

These rules are insane. Aso if it is a boarding school you are paying for this insanity Hmm

TheAnalyst · 31/05/2015 09:02

Sexist policy, sounds like it's not the only one either, lot of bollocks, give 'em hell.

MrsSchadenfreude · 31/05/2015 09:04

Well, no, one of the questions at the forefront of my mind was not "are both sexes required to do their own laundry", when we looked round. But as I said, we complained, and they changed the rules.

Am certainly going to complain again about this clothing rule.

And yes, last years of boarding school. The education is very good. They just seem to have gone a bit bonkers on dress code of late. Without actually having one written down. And again, not something we asked about when we looked round - most of the kids seem to wear jeans and hoodies anyway.

OP posts:
Orange6358 · 31/05/2015 09:07

Write to the head? Continue to send your DD in shorts. As long as they are a reasonable length (similar length to boys shorts), I would push for equality.

LaurieFairyCake · 31/05/2015 09:09

Calling it the 'no shorts for girls' rule is stupid when what they mean is that girls wear shorts very short and boys wear knee length shorts usually so how can we figure out a way to not have girls endless legs on display.

I don't think I've ever seen a girl in baggy knee length shorts Grin

cheminotte · 31/05/2015 09:10

Yanbu. Can you complain about inappropriate T-shirts as well. Is you DD 16 or 18?

TheAnalyst · 31/05/2015 09:10

Just to clarify - this is a casual dress code, and they go to school in a uniform? Or do they also attend school in casual dress? (Sorry if stupid question)

Orange6358 · 31/05/2015 09:12

I know some non school uniform
Schools and would expect for both sexes - no slogans, no inappropriate imagery on clothing, no bare stomachs/thighs, practical clothing including hard wearing shoes, summer hats and warm jumper/waterproof

quietbatperson · 31/05/2015 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icimoi · 31/05/2015 09:20

Private schools are nothing to do with the LEA.

MrsSchadenfreude · 31/05/2015 09:21

Quietbat - this only happened last week. I am going to email the head of boarding. He seems a sensible chap.

TheAnalyst - no uniform, and they, in theory, wear what they like to school. I completely agree that very short shorts are inappropriate for either sex, similarly midriffs, and also the inappropriate slogans. Perhaps they should say you have to be covered from mid thigh/just above the knee, to neck? And at least short sleeves? But definitely no slogans.

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