To wonder if parents keep an eye on their kids Instagram use?

[Bambambini]

My 12 yr old son uses Instagram. I don't particularly like it and worry about kids abusing this kind of social media etc but don't want to heavy handedly ban it. We do keep an eye on his account and posts though. I am surprised at the amount of young girls who post pouty, selfies and pics of themselves. Often with tight clothing or somewhat sexy and revealing. Often wanting others to rate their hotness.

If I had a daughter (these girls are 12/13) I'd be quite concerned. I guess I'm just wondering if parents are actually monitoring or aware of this. Is it just me that finds it all a bit worrying (I do already worry but so far the boys seem to post a lot less and it's more silly stuff like football and cartoons or such).

My eldest is 12. She doesn't have Instagram, I explained why and she was ok with it. Sometimes it's ok to make that judgement call :)

Mine don't have instagram/fb/twitter etc and won't anytime soon

My niece has instagram and Facebook on the understanding it's closely monitored by me. Her mum and dad don't do social media and were concerned they wouldn't know what to look for. She knows I have her passwords etc and if I was to see anything I was concerned about I'd let my brother or sil know

What are you worried is going to happen? I don't see the issue.

Absolutely. I have my dds Instagram account mirrored to my own iPad and look at it a couple of times a week. She knows and understands that that's our rule. It's just a part of keeping her safe online. I check on content and that she's not following strangers. I don't have any concerns, yet. It's mostly just her school pals sharing pictures. She's not on F&B or Twitter though.

My dd 12 has it. I also have an account and I monitor hers. I can't believe a) what other kids post and b) that some of them are online really really late. I've made her delete a couple of people because they constantly post really offensive stuff.

She doesn't have fb, and I think that I can't ban her, I'd rather she learns to use social media responsibly with my guidance. I do wish more parents monitored their kids accounts too.

You have a son, you let him use it with reservation and you're more worried about the girls of the same age?

A girl should be no more worried about social media than a boy, they should be no more afraid of walking down the street than a boy. I am sure that most of the poutness is to impress their friends.

I have a teenage boy that uses social media. I teach him not to post anything that he feels could be used against him, the same reasons I would give to a daughter.
I can't control how his female peers behave, or other parents. All I can do, as an owner of a male teenager, is to make sure that he is given my opinon of how women should be treated.

Its a simple message of treat others how you want to be treated. It works no matter what gender you are.
Son one day you will also say the wrong thing in social situatIon, you will also wear the wrong thing, like the wrong thing. You do have a nasty zit, one day you will smell too sweaty. You will hope that these things will get overlooked during the next 10 years. I want them to start the standard now and if its social media, or face to face, they need to think and choose about their actions.

So yeah, worry to your hearts content boutt the girls but your son is the only one that you can do anything about.

maybe I just think it's useful to raise the topic and encourage people to keep an eye on what their children are posting. I haven't seen much nasty stuff but you can see how it could all so easily turn sour.

so you're not worried about your son because he's a boy but are worried about these girls that post 'hot' pics? do you have a daughter OP?

sorry I see that you are worried about your son being on Instagram but would be more concerned if he was a girl: why?

I said that I worry about my son using this kind of social media. I think all parents should be concerned. More girls seem to post than boys though and the type of posting and photos tend to be different.

Yes, all parents should be concerned with alll aspect of their childrens up bringing. Social media is the norm these days for business, oaps, parents, children. It is going to happen. Boys do spend lots of time communicating online too, it may be game related and they also need educating. Though i do know that there are many young female gamers,

Online comms is only going to increase. You have limited ability to influence these girls but you have a chance to influence your son.

Yes, I often wonder that too.

My 11 year old DD has Instagram on the condition that her account is registered on my phone. That way, she knows if she does anything inappropriate it will appear on my phone and I may well see. To be fair, my DD uses it wisely, and I've stopped monitoring it as closely. Thankfully, her friends don't do the pouty pictures. DD has a few accounts - one about frozen, a cute animals one and other innocuous shite on it.

However, what does surprise me is the number of her friends who have got secret accounts behind their parents' backs. It's interesting that I hear from the parents that they don't allow their children Instagram, but I've seen their children's accounts online (A good 3/4 of her friends). Some of them even have multiple accounts.

Also, some of her friends put up some quite rude jokes. I just talk to DD about this, and what's appropriate or not to share. Finally, it's how late I'm getting messages pop up on my phone of an evening. To be fair, my DD tries this one sometimes - she soon gets a quick reminder that her conversations appear on my phone, so I know full well, she's up chatting. But the frequency with which some children are chatting way past 10pm does surprise me at times.

My experience (14 year old DD) is that if you ban it they'll use it in secret or use another social media site that adults don't use (I'd never heard of tumblr until my then 11 year started using it).

If you allow them acces to tech, or if they go to friends' houses and are not permanently supervised by adults, they WILL open accounts whether you approve or not. It is much better to expend the effort educating them than attempting to ban sites. It's great if you can arrange to see the content they post but you may not even be aware of all their accounts. The "in" social media seem to change regularly.

As for the boy-girl issue, girls do seem to be more vulnerable to abuse of social media at this age. They certainly seem to be heavier users. Also, in my experience social relationships between late preteen and early teenage girls are much more difficult than for boys, and social media use can magnify this. Of course boys still need educating too but their social media use tends to be very different at this age.

My DS is on Instagram and posts videos of himself on the trampoline and FIFA screen shots.

I agree that a lot of the girls from his class are pouting and asking for people's opinons. They also have a large number of followers that are strangers.

I spoke to my friend about it as her DD does all of the above. My friend constantly says she is getting stricter about it with her DD but her DD carries on regardless.

They also all seem to argue between themselves on direct message. I know that this makes my DS uncomfortable - he hates arguements.

I think as long as it's monitored and we talk about it it's quite a good thing. We've had lots of conversations about what's happening at school etc from things that have been on Instagram.

Social media is an aspect of their lives and I think we have to adapt to include it in a way that we as a family feel comfortable with.

All parents should monitor what social media sites their children use whether they are boys or girls. There is enormous such scope for on line grooming, abuse and bullying in this format. Most parents have no idea of the extent to which details of your children's lives can be got from even the most innocuous photos and chat.

Have a look at the CEOP Thnkuknow website and get up to speed.

12 yr old ds is on
I do check regularly and often have the 'dont post anything you wouldn't shout or show to a room of people' chat

All his friends are geeky nerds like him and its full of gaming pics and funko pop dolls

My dd is 12 and is not allowed on instagram or Facebook. After looking at the profiles of some of her friends and people in her class I decided I didn't want her on there. All they do is post endless selfies and have lots of strangers (mainly older men) telling them how "hot" they are. So wrong. It's totally inappropriate for a 12 year old to have a public profile in my opinion and to post over sexualised selfies at such a young age like these girls do (the boys don't seem to be the same, most of their profiles are solely about friends and football).

It hasn't affected dds friendships, in fact she seems to get bullied less than anyone else as they're all arguing about whatever so and so said on whatever app it is.

My DD is 12 and uses it. I follow her. My adult DS follows her too. I also look at her phone every now and again. Her settings are private. She is only allowed to add actual friends. I have blocked a girl who was being an arse. I oversee it.

We don't get 'hot' pictures of girls. We mostly get photos of cute animals and outings.

Girls can send hot pictures and boys can sent penis pictures via message or email. It's no more worrisome to me tbh

If my DDs friends were all posting sexualised selfies at 12 I would imagine I had bigger fish to fry than Instagram

Yanbu I check dd and her uncle is on her list and would let me know via dsis if I needed to worry.She is banned from putting pictures of herself or arguing online( having read some of the excruciating bickering I've read from the friends of my DC on text I really don't want mine engaging in it for all to see and print off). Any misuse and she loses it for a month.

To be frank I am shocked at some of the pictures her friends post. Girls you'd presume would have some sense mimicking pop stars.I think their parents are completely unaware.

I would just say, no Instagram?

Apart from the eldest (15), all of their instagram accounts are accessible on my phone. I can check who they follow, who follows them, what they post, their direct messages, and what their friends post.

99% of what I see on there is harmless. Amongst their friends, the 'trying to look sexy' selfies seem to start in about Y8, but are not ubiquitous. More boys seem to post them than girls.

Also popular are the 'what would you do if I died' posts, and the 'if this gets more than X likes then I'll do something embarrassing' posts.

Because instagram is more limited in function than facebook, I think it is a safer arena in which to learn to use social media, especially as the only people following them (apart from their parents and godparents) are the same age as they are.

Pag my dd is 10 and her friends are your average m/c boring town inhabiters. Not sure why I need to worry about my dd who doesn't post pics of herself.Her friends are naice normal girls who are just a tad foolish and clearly without a parent monitoring their Instagram account.

It still shocks me slightly and saddens me. At 10 I was still playing with baby dolls.

DS is 11 (in year 6) and has Instagram. Quite a few of his class and younger years seem to have it as well. I follow him and also keep an eye on his DMs (which seem to be how his friends communicate in that one person will ask who's going to the park and others will join in). He follows some people who do inane YouTube stuff mainly about minecraft but other than that is all people he knows. Both girls and boys in his class do daft poses but none of them the "hot" sort and majority have private accounts.
I think in our case banning him from it wouldn't be the right thing to do although it took a while for me to agree to it.