to wonder what the fuck to do now? (Immediate financial problem)

[Margaritte]

We are on a very tight budget for the next couple of months. We know this, and have got advice from StepChange & I posted a thread on here for recipe /shopping advice.

However, today our card declined trying to pay for £22 or so worth of shopping. We were not expecting that, and now I am very worried and starting to panic

We have some food in for dinners. No packed lunch food though, for ds1 & 2 and dh. We have no milk (well, enough for a bottle tonight for dd) and are down to 3 nappies.

Payday isn't until end of next week, so have to do something until then.

Ditto MissJoMarch

OP= Please ignore any nastiness on here, anybody who actually reads this thread will clearly see you have not even hinted at asking MN for financial help. you were seeking advice.

Oh and FWIW, OP I think you have done an amazing job at keeping proactive here in what are obviously very tough circumstances. As previous posters said, Mumsnet at its very best.

Sadly, I read more than a hint of jealousy in kormachameleon's second post. It reeks of "why her, why not me?" And the generosity of Mumsnetters is their own doing, not directed by you...

I agree.

I think this is a very good thread with lots of ideas and support that hopefully other people can use. Posters are grown ups and capable of making their own decisions.

^THIS^

Hi, have you given stepchange a call back? Sory if im repeating another message but when i was in debt but didnt want iv or bankrupt i just completed there budget form, this showed that we did not earn enough to live on so i only had to pay a token £1a month to each debter until things got better. Didnt help immediately but was huge relief!

Also re food bank i rang local council and they gave us 3 x vouchers and food bank give you a big box. They csn also give emergency grantd/ loans if you explain how desperate you are. Perhaps search for local charities and see if any can help? I know its awful situation and i hated asking for help but just promised myself i would repay them with donations of food or time once back on my feet.

Also might be worth going on freecycle and placing a wanted ad for nappies etc. People often have stuff in cupboards they havent got round to clearing out.

Good luck x

I am in touch with the OP in PMs

She has apologised for any offence she may have caused on this thread.

For goodness sake - this is a woman who reached out asking for menu planning because she had/has PND, then asked for ideas for budget meals on £50 per week to feed a family of five ..... then her world appeared to be in catastrophe after 6 months of treading water.

I am encouraging Margaritte to come back to this thread as the support and help outweighs the negativity.

She has read every post and not rejected any suggestion so far (not even applying for IVA or bankruptcy). Her DH is firmly in the family team - even though it is only the OP posting.

Hopefully, I'll speak to OP on the phone this afternoon when DD goes down for her nap (but we are juggling a visit from my friend and her DD going down for a nap at almost the same time.)

As Judge Rinder says: I can smell a lie like a fart in a lift!

My nostrils have not smelt any bullshit.

I'm also in contact with op and she hasn't asked for anything, and I am 99% sure she isn't scamming.

Speaking personally, I fell in love with my dh on the spot when he told me he'd rather risk being scammed than turn away someone in need.

I owe so much to the kindness of others, including someone who once bailed me out of a full price ticket form London to Birmingham (ish) when my rail card ran out. The conductor let me off and I contacted the person and was told she'd bought me a really good dinner then.

Please, anyone else in this situation, please read the job lists I post daily for Margaritte.

Yesterday, I posted all the suggested ideas for additional income.

Use those posts to help you. I know that there are lurkers in the background who might find that my summaries for Margaritte may help you also.

allyd84

Thank you for posting that advice. I will go through it and check that any additional ideas are on the job list.

OP is in touch with two charitable credit agencies (CCC and PayPlan). She is exploring IV or bankruptcy, but now needs to understand the implications of herself and/or DH setting up their own service business (e.g. ironing, leaflet dropping, mowing lawns, cleaning).

They simply can't do both.

However, once OP is over the immediate glitch, there are some of us who can help with registering as self-employed with HMRC, invoices and record keeping.

I am encouraging the OP to deal with this episode of her life in 'bite-sizes'.

Debt and no-money to buy nappies doesn't have an easy, over-night solution.

I applaud the OP for acting on every suggestion to raise money from the household by selling on Facebook, Gumtree and eBay. She has been on a massive learning curve - but thanks to 99% of the people on this thread, she is getting there.

I hope she will then go on to offer the same advice to others and be an inspiration to those who need help and too proud to ask. And as others said when in a better position they have gone on to help others. She seems determined to help herself and her family and this is to be applauded. Well done. Please come back as to how you are doing.

Sophsy thank you for also confirming your judgement about Margaritte.

I have had PMs offering money towards a collection for the OP, I have thanked everyone but explained that cash is NOT being collected - and I certainly wouldn't want the responsibility to have it audited thoroughly.

So keep your ideas rolling .... and more importantly, keep up your encouraging posts. Margaritte needs daily support via posts as she is shoving her PND into the background.

If she asks for help with cooking or menu planning, that really is a genuine shout for help. (She has an oven on the blink at the moment - no money to get it fixed but she used her slow cooker and air fryer yesterday to feed the family).

I think the family are having roast chicken this evening.

Hi there. Have read a lot of the thread but not all of it. I am sorry that you are in this position and glad that you are getting some fab advice here. sadwidow is an absolute star .

I am an accountant/bookkeeper and if you get to a point where you need to register as self employed to earn some more money, I would be very happy to give you some free advice and advise you on how to set up as self employed.

I have a couple of friends who do cleaning/ironing and they can earn quite a bit of money from this so definitely something worth trying and easy to fit in a few hours while DC at school.

When I wanted a summer holiday 2 years ago, I did 3 car boots, sold stuff on facebook, and managed to raise £450 to go on holiday to a caravan park in the summer holidays.

I also used to earn a lot of money/vouchers doing surveys online, but don't have much time for it nowadays, but it is well worth doing, as I used to get Amazon and Argos vouchers and use them for Christmas and birthday presents.

it can be done. and you will feel so much better once you sort everything out. Just steer clear of anything that offers you to earn a fortune for very little work, as my XH lost a lot of money in scams like that.

I will catch up on the whole thread to see what exact circumstances are and come back if I think of anything else.

Can you put a shout out to a free web page for the cooker to be fixed? Or add a quote to her list?

I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread but I do agree about offering services.

My family members have been able to make a decent amount of extra pocket money by doing various jobs. You'll be surprised at how many people will pay for various jobs to be done.

If you have a skill or knowledge on a particular area maybe you could do some tutoring?

One of my sisters loves shopping at car boot sales. She recently sold many of her purchases online and made over £500 profit in about 2 weeks.

Good luck with it all

momtothree I don't know how free shout outs work - but I will check with Margaritte if she wants me to explore that as an option.

She has PND and having strangers in the house don't always suit.

But thank you for the suggestion.

I have a solution to Tesco vouchers

I have a contact name in Tesco Club Card - and a direct number.

If anyone wants to donate their Tesco vouchers, please PM and I'll give you instructions.

THE VOUCHERS CAN ONLY BE TRANSFERRED TO MARGERITTE.

Very sad at the attitude of one person on this thread.

We live in such uncertain times that if im not around to help my family should they be reduced to straightened circumstances I certainly hope someone can/ will help them out.

I grew up in the fifties ,council estate nothing fancy and I saw real poverty then and we'd not long been out of a war.

Can't believe how bad it has got/ getting!

It's been heart warming to read this thread and the actions the family have taken.

That should have read...I never saw real poverty then.

Nobody had a lot of money but the fathers and some of the mothers were working. There was a roof over there heads, good quality ( new) housing and food on the table and clean and tidy children.

Dowser I am a 50's child (now embracing being 60 years old - tsk! - I don't feel 60 years old)

I have slept in rooms with no heating, icicles on the bedding, tin baths in front of the fire and jam/bread for tea. I have shared a single bed with 2 sisters, I have had to do night-time caring/feeds/cuddles for my youngest baby brother and go to school the next day. I have put on dirty knickers because I only had 2 pairs, I have soaked and washed Terry-Towel nappies in the bucket and washed until they were 'clean enough to go in the dolly tub'.

Do I want children to go through this in 2015? No!

This has probably already been covered, but is there a FB Freecycle page for your area? There is one in my area (northwest, so a long way from you) and it is amazing the things people give away. I think that many people can't be bothered selling or just want something gone quickly, and because it's a good way of recycling. The main downside is that people usually expect you to be able to collect from them. You can request items too (for example I'm sure loads of people would be only too happy to get rid of old potties).

I'm another who has been exchanging PMs with Margaritte. She seems genuine to me. I'm been impressed by the way she's taking all advice onboard, and she hasn't once asked for anything besides tips and ideas that she can use to try and improve her current situation.

OP this is what you need to remember.

Margaritte, I'm finding this thread most affecting, you are being so brave. Mumsnet at its best.

It is reminding me of a time when I had zero money to last for some three months. At the time, several people seemingly from nowhere to help, for which i shall for every be grateful.

Margaritte and I chatted this afternoon. She heard my dog bark, and my friend also said 'Hello' to her to confirm that I am who I say I am.

Margaritte's DD didn't settle for her afternoon nap, but we had enough time to speak and discuss ways forward (and to check that we were each genuine on MN).

In my opinion, Margaritte is gentle, thoughtful and genuinely grateful for all suggestions. She is juggling 3 DCs whilst trying to pull the family budget together.

She has asked me to confirm that she has never asked for anything other than advice and support. Please do NOT ask her to accept money under any circumstances because it is not easily audited to verify that the recipient is genuine. But thank you to everyone who offered to put money in her PayPal account.

I have spoken to Tesco and they have said that they will be willing to transfer points to Margaritte. PM for details.

What an amazing thread, lots of passing on of secondhand or now unused items and loads of great tips. MN at it's best.

Margaritte don't let a few people who haven't read the thread put you off coming back. Those offering to help are people who want to, none of us are being forced to offer time, goods, shopping or our talents to help, lots of us do it because we can, are able, and won't miss what we're offering. We all know the MNHQ advice not to get over invested but that is different for each of us and we're all adults.

Can you check shes signed up for NHS minor aliments for the kids?

I don't think you need to sign up for NHS minor ailments, you just go with your sick child to a participating pharmacy (of course you can also see your GP too). If they can be treated with a medicine/treatment then you can get it on prescription (free for under 18s) which saves paying for over the counter stuff if you're tight for cash.