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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a bit shocked at this?

37 replies

SisterSage · 30/05/2015 10:11

DP went on his stag do last night. It was fairly quiet as these things go- dinner with a few friends then round various pubs and bars in our town. Only about eight of them, all in ltr or married. DP got in about 12, which was a lot earlier than I was expecting, and was also not nearly as pissed as I was expecting- he was actually quite upset, and said he'd left early as 'they were all trying to pull'. Shock

Now I'm not stupid- I know people can get a bit silly on a (rare) night out. A bit of flirting is one thing but one bloke apparently even took off his wedding ring! I know all these guys, and most of their wives/ gfs, and would have sworn blind they were not the sort of people to do this. DP seems really shocked - he reckons some kind of 'herd mentality' thing went on and they were all trying to one-up each other.

I don't know why I'm posting really- just can't believe this is apparently the norm?! And thinking my judgement (and DP's) must be pretty crap...

OP posts:
magimedi · 30/05/2015 13:46

Hang on to him - he sounds lovely but his friends sound pretty vile.

ttc2015 · 30/05/2015 14:26

It is the norm for Cheats to do this on any night out, not just a stag. DP and his friends call it the 'sad man's crew'. When they go out, they see the same usual suspects puling or trying to pull. Ironically these 'DP/DH's' are held up by their wives as the 'best husbands' but it's common knowledge that they cheat, even to their OHs!

I'd be very surprised if none of your OHs friends have cheated before, it's more likely that he hasn't seen or been told about it because they know he'd disapprove. It took being told by one of my friend's who saw one of DPs with another woman for DP to realise the man he had once idolised was actually a dirty cheat.

PtolemysNeedle · 30/05/2015 14:36

I'm not surprised tbh. In my younger clubbier days there were plenty of girls around that would go on a mission to 'shag a stag' and it wasn't usually much of a challenge for them.

silveroldie2 · 30/05/2015 18:43

Your DB sounds great - perhaps you and he can go out for a lovely evening and do your own stag night together?

hotfuzzra · 30/05/2015 19:01

Aah that's great Well done MisterSage what a keeper Star
As a pp said I often randomly say to DH 'God I love you so much' when reading about horrendous behaviour on MN

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 30/05/2015 19:58

Well you've got a gooden there. I hope you count yourself very lucky.
I wouldn't be shocked I've rendered my self completely unshockable.
Their poor unsuspecting wives and pArtners mind

QueenofallIsee · 30/05/2015 20:39

His friends sound like right sad cases. A friend of a friends husband, his DAD and his brother all apparently spent his stag do in a brothel. Lord knows how shits like that find wives

caitlinohara · 30/05/2015 21:05

YANBU. Dh has a couple of mates who used to behave like this on a night out. They used to go to footie matches in European cities and go to brothels. Depressingly, they are actually lovely blokes in every other way, like you say it's a sort of pack mentality when they are 'out with the lads' Hmm Doesn't excuse it though. I think the point here is that it was your dh's stag do, and they should have been trying to make sure he had a good night rather than just themselves.

marshmallowpies · 30/05/2015 21:14

A male friend of mine went on a stag once where it was the older guests - uncles of the bride and so on - who went on to a strip club, and (so I was told) were going on the prowl for hookers. My friend was shocked and also a bit dismayed that he was going to have to face all these sleazy guys at the wedding a few weeks down the line.

OP your DP definitely made the right call - his friends may think he's a stuck-in-the-mud but he has the power of MN on his side! Wine

Melonfool · 30/05/2015 21:28

Dp is off on a stag do next weekend. He hates all that leering at women. He is 42, the 'stag' is about 50, so hopefully it won't be too bad.

He says he won't go to a strip club, he finds them really dull, you can't talk to each other and he hates the idea of women trying to titillate him and taking the pee out of him at the same time. I asked him about 'private dances' and said I'd draw a line there (in case he didn't know) and he looked really shocked and said I didn't need to draw a line, he already had that line.

I don't think he'd like it if everyone was trying to pull. I hope it doesn't get like that - the whole thing is costing him a lot, both of money and hassle and is yet another weekend we don't see each other and what with him working away in the US a lot at the moment (and having to fly out at weekends) we're like ships that pass in the night, so I hope he at least enjoys it.

Melonfool · 30/05/2015 21:28

Dp is off on a stag do next weekend. He hates all that leering at women. He is 42, the 'stag' is about 50, so hopefully it won't be too bad.

He says he won't go to a strip club, he finds them really dull, you can't talk to each other and he hates the idea of women trying to titillate him and taking the pee out of him at the same time. I asked him about 'private dances' and said I'd draw a line there (in case he didn't know) and he looked really shocked and said I didn't need to draw a line, he already had that line.

I don't think he'd like it if everyone was trying to pull. I hope it doesn't get like that - the whole thing is costing him a lot, both of money and hassle and is yet another weekend we don't see each other and what with him working away in the US a lot at the moment (and having to fly out at weekends) we're like ships that pass in the night, so I hope he at least enjoys it.

AntiHop · 30/05/2015 21:32

Yanbu. Sounds like your dp has morals, integrity as respect for women. He needs new friends.

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