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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do your guests wait to have breakfast with you?

95 replies

basilflower · 30/05/2015 09:27

We've had 2 (separate) guests recently who have got up and had breakfast without us. We have a young dc so it's not as if we're getting up late. I find it strange, I'd never go to someone else's house and have breakfast without them, a cup of tea yes, but breakfast no.

AIBU or are my guests?

OP posts:

PeppermintCrayon · 31/05/2015 02:23

But I find it odd when we get up and guests are sitting at table to be fed, and they just sit back and watch us making toast and coffee for them... I don't like that, it feels like they expect to be waited on!

Bit passive aggressive here. If you mind, tell them where the stuff is?

aurynne · 31/05/2015 06:25

We have different friends staying with us relatively frequently, and we always ask them how they prefer to have breakfast, and how early. If possible, we like to have breakfast all together, but if they got up unreasonably early we let them know where everything is and they are welcome to help themselves. Much more fun to make it a communal breakfast though :)

MummyPig24 · 31/05/2015 07:05

I think we would be hard pushed to find guests who get up before us. I wouldn't mind guests helping themselves though.

When we used to stay with the in laws I used to get the kids breakfast as they were up at 6, ILs didn't get up till 9, no breakfast till 10. Kids would have resorted to cannibalism.

Apricota · 31/05/2015 12:54

We get up and are ready if we have guests. At in laws, I used to take stuff so we had something to eat! When they were abroad I even took flour etc and made bread, as there was often nothing to eat. Kids need food.

MrsNextDoor · 31/05/2015 15:10

I've just stayed at a friend's house and we weren't offered anything! She made all of the children some cereal and us coffee but I think that because she doesn't eat first thing, she assumed we wouldn't either!

I almost murdered my bacon sandwich when I got home!

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2015 15:45

Oh I hate that mrs

especially as once the announcement had been made that we are having X for breakfast/lunch/tea asking about food feels rude even if it gets to late in the day and there's no sign they are even planning on starting it.

don't get me started on when suddenly it's announced they have to go shopping and you realise that it's going to be hours yet

riverboat1 · 31/05/2015 16:00

Depends on the guests.

DP's parents are really early risers, and always sort their own breakfasts when they get up.

My mum also gets up really early, but isn't that bothered about breakfast so waits til we get up and eats with us.

Most friends who come get up around the same time as us, so it's not an issue. But I do always tell them they can help themselves to anything if they get up before us and are peckish.

If I had friends coming who I knew were likely to get up much earlier than us, I'd probably put out cereal and bread and stuff before I went to bed, and make sure they were briefed on how to work the coffee machine.

brainwashed · 31/05/2015 16:34

My inlaws have form for getting up and having breakfast when it had been specifically discussed the night before that we would be cooking a special breakfast for everyone the next day....

rebbles · 31/05/2015 16:37

YANBU, I think that is so rude. Even my mum wouldn't start making her own food in my kitchen. Maybe she would make a cuppa but that is it!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 31/05/2015 16:42

Maybe they are trying to tell you they'd rather just have a bit of toast Brainwashed.

spillyobeans · 31/05/2015 17:06

I don't think it would bother me if guests helped themselves to toast/cereal etc (bit weird if they made a fry up or something) that being said I wouldn't feel comfortable eating without host/before them without being offered or told to in someone else's house

Bambambini · 31/05/2015 17:49

"YANBU, I think that is so rude. Even my mum wouldn't start making her own food in my kitchen. Maybe she would make a cuppa but that is it!"

Really? When I'm staying at mums or my sisters i just help myself. Same to some degree with some friends. Guess we all have different ways.

rebbles · 31/05/2015 19:54

I would do it at my mums but that is as I grew up there so I know where everything is, but she wouldn't do it at mine.

Caterina99 · 31/05/2015 22:57

We live abroad so have a lot of guests that usually stay for at least a week. I always make it clear that they can help themselves to fruit cereal toast tea etc if they get up before us (or indeed afterwards). Weekends we might specify if we are making something special or going out for brunch etc. Happy birthday! (I think it's today - if not happy birthday for whenever it actually is) Hope you had a good holiday. Speak at the weekend x

When I stay with family and friends I would normally expect to help myself to at least a cup of tea if I was up before them. I wouldn't cook, but a bowl of cereal or a piece of toast is fair game surely?

Caterina99 · 31/05/2015 23:00

Oops random happy birthday in there! Bizarre!

imnotfat · 31/05/2015 23:10

As a guest I would never get up for breakfast without them. It's kind of annoying as I am a breakfast eater, and several friends I have stayed at are not, and get up at 12 for brunch, by which time I've been up for hours (particularly as I don't sleep so well in a strange bed) and am starving!

BackforGood · 31/05/2015 23:23

I always show them the night before where cereals, dishes, etc are, and the bread and toaster are obvious, and tell them to make themselves at home.
Equally, we'd have decided the night before what we were doing, so I would get up at the same reasonable time they would. If they have some sort of weird 5am waking time though, they are on their own

I certainly wouldn't be offended that someone did, I'd feel pleased they were comfortable in my home. But then, I offer overnight accommodation on the basis that it's certainly not a showhome and we definitely don't stand on ceremony.

brainwashed · 01/06/2015 11:45

whoknows I'm fine if they just want toast....however it's a bit rude not to say so and carry on regardless if food needs to be bought etc

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 01/06/2015 11:56

Yes, fair point, if you've discussed it the night before they should have piped up then and said "we'd rather just have a bit of toast when we get up".

maninawomansworld · 01/06/2015 16:27

We have guests quite a lot because we live in a lovely rural picturesque part of the country.

I am always first up (two 2 year olds, a load of dogs and a farm to run) and tell people I will be doing brekkie at 8:30 after I've done the morning rounds of the animals but if they want it earlier they can help themselves.

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