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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do your guests wait to have breakfast with you?

95 replies

basilflower · 30/05/2015 09:27

We've had 2 (separate) guests recently who have got up and had breakfast without us. We have a young dc so it's not as if we're getting up late. I find it strange, I'd never go to someone else's house and have breakfast without them, a cup of tea yes, but breakfast no.

AIBU or are my guests?

OP posts:

JeanneDeMontbaston · 30/05/2015 11:52

Yep, me too!

The eggs thing was some very hungover friends who also used a knife to stir the (non-stick) pan.

ByTheWishingWell · 30/05/2015 11:55

I want guests to feel at home, and make sure they know they are welcome to help themselves to anything. I'm usually awake with DD not long after 7, and make and serve coffee and breakfast when people want it. If guests are up before me they are welcome to get themselves anything they want, including cooked breakfast.

ByTheWishingWell · 30/05/2015 11:59

Eek! Have just read Jeanne's post. No one, guest or not, is welcome to stir my pans with cutlery. I had a friend who learnt the hard way, after gouging deep scratches in my wok.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 30/05/2015 12:03

Brought up by wolves, ByThe. Clearly.

(They are lovely people in general, just, erm, not very domestic.)

DisappointedOne · 30/05/2015 12:10

I've never had guests actually start cooking stuff like eggs for breakfast though, it's always just cereal and toast. I'd far rather they helped themselves than waited for me to get up, or me have to wait for them to get up. We don't do the what time are you getting up conversation either, no need if everyone gets their own breakfast and no awkwardness if someone oversleeps a bit or wants a lie in that everyone else will be waiting.

My SIL was apparently not content with the many choices of spread left out on the table for their consumption (included 3 types of jam, marmalade, honey and chocolate spread) so went rooting through my fridge and store cupboards helping herself to the raspberry coulis I'd made for that night's dessert, the blueberry sauce I'd made for the next day's pancakes and a special jam I'd got in my cake making supplies in another fucking room for a particular cake getting toast crumbs and butter in it and forcing me to buy more. They don't get invited anymore.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/05/2015 12:21

I think you're the rude one, and as the host you should either be getting up as soon as you hear they are, or telling them the night before to help themselves. It's bit fair to expect them to twiddle their thumbs for an unknown amount if time.
Unless your guests were up at 5 making a full English, then yanbu bit you haven't detailed timings.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/05/2015 12:21

*unfair

meglet · 30/05/2015 12:26

I'd hate to eat breakfast with other people. even worse would be being made to wait for them to wake up.

so much nicer to be told where everything is so guests can make their own food as they wake up.

Bambambini · 30/05/2015 13:06

I like guests to feel comfortable enough to be able to make tea etc when they want and help themselves to breakfast. Stayed with my SIL recently and she went really OTT with us all sitting down to a massive choice for breakfast, table loaded up with all sorts when all we wanted was to help ourselves to some toast or cereal. I appreciate that she went to a lot of effort but it was actually off putting and uncomfortable. Reading that, it sounds awfully ungrateful and she was really trying her best.

FenellaFellorick · 30/05/2015 16:03

no. we make sure guests know where everything is and say to them feel free to help yourselves.

I mean, we don't lounge about in bed or anything, but it's good for them to know they're welcome to make themselves something if they happen to get up ridiculously early

mumeeee · 30/05/2015 16:09

YABU I am always happy to let our guests get up before us although they are usually family anyway. I've been staying with my sister recently and she was happy for me to get up and get my breakfast with out them if I wanted to.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/05/2015 16:13

Weekends; I tell people when the cooked breakfast/pancakes are likely to be ready and see if they want to be up. Weekdays; every guest for themselves.

You could have guests like FIL who gets up as soon as he hears a footfall, even if it's my 5am insomnia, and talks AT us while we try to get ready for school and work. Even if DD is crying or having a tantrum, talking AT me and expecting all my attention to be fixed on him.

Normally I am more gracious. He just left.

frostyfingers · 30/05/2015 16:16

I have a friend who doesn't sleep much or well and when she stays I always leave tea bags/mug/sugar/biscuits etc out in case she's up during the night, plus cereal/toast stuff for breakfast.

For most guests though I leap out of bed as soon as I hear them stirring - but I'm usually up around 6.30/7.00 anyway. I prefer to have my breakfast on my own before others are up so I can read the newspaper in peace!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 30/05/2015 16:26

I'd feel the same Bambabini, I feel a bit the same when people put all sorts of extra things in your room just in case you need them, I appreciate the thought but it makes it feel like a b and b not a home, I'm quite happy to ask or pop to the shop if I need painkillers or similar.

MrsTedCrilly · 30/05/2015 16:44

Nice to see other people are relaxed about this too.. Guests are free to eat whatever they like if they are staying, help themselves whenever.. It's awful feeling hungry at someone elses house and waiting for formal meals.

Welshwabbit · 30/05/2015 16:58

We don't have that many people to stay but would usually tell them where everything is and to help themselves. If I was doing a more formal breakfast I'd say so the night before because it's not the (or rather our) norm.

SenecaFalls · 30/05/2015 17:13

I live in Florida. I have a lot of house guests on a fairly regular basis. In fact, I have guests right now. What we do depends on who it is, but generally we just have coffee, cereal, bread, toast, sweet rolls, etc. for people to feed themselves and their DC (we live within easy day trip to Disney) if they get up before we do. On a weekend with guests, we usually have one day where DH makes a big pancake breakfast, but it is later and some people can't wait. But I don't expect anyone to wait for me to get up. I'm a night owl and like to sleep in on weekend mornings and all my friends and family know this.

SenecaFalls · 30/05/2015 17:16

Oh and if they are here during the week when I need to be at work, then it is definitely every woman, man, and child for themselves.

2rebecca · 30/05/2015 17:49

The only guests we have tend to be close family or good friends so if I'm in bed and they're hungry I'd rather they got on with breakfast than were sitting downstairs looking impatient and hungry when i got up.
If I'm staying with relatives I'll get up and make a cup of tea. I'll usually wait for breakfast but when my kids were young if they were hungry I'd have done them toast or cereal.

TalkinPeace · 30/05/2015 17:54

It depends.
I had ten extra people in my house last night so I laid out the breakfast things for them as 2:30 am and then waited till one of my children brought me tea in bed this morning while they all ate downstairs

purplemurple1 · 30/05/2015 18:02

Guests eat breakfast with us or when they get up if its later. We get up at 5am and eat breakfast around 7am (have coffee and a bun first thing).

Original poster

basilflower · 30/05/2015 19:14

Wow I thought my guests were weird, but it turns out I am! I'll stop stressing about it then!

For info we're up by 7am...

OP posts:

TalkinPeace · 30/05/2015 19:23

OP
The other thing is ...
Did you say to them that communal brekkie was on offer?
Eg last time we had a house full of teens, we offered waffles to those who helped tidy = 100% take up !!

With our friends we often agree breakfast the night before so its communal

BathshebaDarkstone · 30/05/2015 19:26

The few times we've had guests here, DH has got up and made a spectacular breakfast for us all. We wouldn't have minded if they'd made breakfast for themselves though.

DoJo · 30/05/2015 20:42

We're usually up first with loud toddler but if not we'd get up as soon as we hear anyone stirring seriously or venturing downstairs. I wouldn't expect anyone to get up at toddler time if we were staying with them, so would take something with us or forage for food for him in the morning, but I'm happy to wait a good few hours after waking for breakfast, so probably wouldn't help myself unless I was unusually ravenous.
If someone is up and already breakfasted by 7am in my house then good luck to them, although I would be annoyed if I had been angling for a fry-up at the local farm cafe...!

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