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To think there are a lot of misconceptions about terminating a pregnancy

999 replies

fiveacres · 29/05/2015 18:17

Obviously, about abortion, which is a contentious issue for some.

I am approaching the third due date of the pregnancy I terminated in the autumn of 2011 at 9 weeks.

I was a very pious sort once, who believed that abortions were morally wrong. i admit that freely. I still do feel that the best option is not to be in that position in the first place.

However, although I do sometimes think about it, I don't regret it. I've been pregnant twice since so it hasn't affected my fertility.

I paid privately. I did not have any counselling - I was undecided when I went for the initial appointment but I have to say it was very much 'assumed' that I wanted to terminate. The record of the abortion is not in my medical file.

You don't have to give a reason, although they did press me to have the implant, which I refused. They did do a scan, which was a bit upsetting.

It did not hurt. I was warned I would bleed a lot but I didn't. My periods came back in 6 weeks.

You are in a room with a LOT of other women after the procedure, which is upsetting.

Other than that, I felt good after having it done, relieved, happy, mainly relieved.

I do have the odd flash of guilt. I wouldn't do it again.

But, I was reading another thread and it crossed my mind a lot of people do not really seem to know what having a termination is like. My experience may be typical or it may not be, I don't know, but it would be interesting to see what the experiences of others are to try to dispel or to address some of the myths that surround this difficult but sometimes necessary issue.

OP posts:
flippinada · 04/06/2015 17:53

I'll just say this for the purpose of clarity bumbley. I will not be responding to any comments from you and will not engage with you further.

bumbleymummy · 04/06/2015 17:53

'All about the foetus' in the same way as if it was born it would be 'all about the baby' seeing as its their life that we're talking about.

Didn't see that one Leedy. Why do you think that? I don't really see what the question is here that I haven't answered. Do I not understand that? No, I don't agree with it.

Any more unanswered questions?

bumbleymummy · 04/06/2015 17:54

Ok Flipp - can't see what you contributed aside from a lie about not answering questions anyway. Have a pleasant evening.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 04/06/2015 17:55

Not that anyone is even trying to 'win' anything

Aren't you? Then you're not doing it right. I'm trying to win a basic human right for the women in my country. I'm trying to win a more civilised society for us all.
Doesn't sound like you're trying very much at all.

PomeralLights · 04/06/2015 17:57

Winter - your swearing reminded me of that bit in the documentary about Scientology where the eminently reasonably and nice presenter (can't remember his name) flipped and lost it with the scientologists trained to repeat, twist and deny his words. I think it's only reasonable to resort to swearing sometimes Grin I think you've done a great job on this thread.

I was one of the people who said I don't think a pregnancy is a life. I am thinking long and hard about how (and whether?) to respond to the people who have had stillbirths who said that upset them. I didn't want to upset anyone Flowers.

I suppose for me it's a bit like discussions on religion - I would never go up to someone leaving a religious building and shout 'I don't believe in your God!' but on a thread titled, I don't know 'experiences of non-believers' I would probably think it ok to say. Not a great analogy I know.

bumbleymummy · 04/06/2015 17:58

Well the 'human right' to life for the foetus already exists in Ireland so is that a 'win' for pro-lifers then?

Not sure you're going to 'win' human rights or 'civilised societies' on MN Winter.

leedy · 04/06/2015 18:03

"Why do you think that? I don't really see what the question is here that I haven't answered. Do I not understand that? No, I don't agree with it."

I think that because despite our draconian abortion laws, Irish women keep having abortions. They just have them in the UK, or elsewhere, or at home with pills. They're having them later because they have to arrange travel etc. They're going into debt to have them. The only women who they're really preventing from having abortions are women who even in extreme circumstances can't afford to travel, and migrant women with visa issues.

I'm really not sure how, given that, you think the Irish laws are "working". Unless you're of the "if the laws have made one less abortion happen, then they're a good thing!" persuasion, which sadly I suspect you are.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 04/06/2015 18:07

Well the 'human right' to life for the foetus already exists in Ireland so is that a 'win' for pro-lifers then?

Yes, it is. But not for long, your day is drawing to a close. We're going to repeal the 8th amendment, very soon and keep chipping away at the crack in the wall until we get it all. We've already got a declaration from the European Court of Human Rights that the Irish constitution breaches womens rights. We've already got movement from some of the big parties towards supporting limited abortion rights. It's creeping slowly in the right direction and we have amazing, strong, tenacious women (and not a few men) doing a lot of hard work.

Not sure you're going to 'win' human rights or 'civilised societies' on MN Winter

Shows how little you know. The fight is everywhere. Spreading information, fighting lies and myths, exposing the empty rhetoric of the antichoicers, its an important part of it. Exposing the problems leads to more support for the cause.
And since I (and others) are getting messages of support and thanks, and you're out alone on a limb, I'm feeling pretty confident about who is winning. If anything you're helping, with the tired tropes and inability to answer a straight question, I'd say you're pushing support our way. Much appreciated.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 04/06/2015 18:09

Thanks Pomeral yes its exactly like that Wink

lastuseraccount123 · 04/06/2015 18:09

'All about the foetus' in the same way as if it was born it would be 'all about the baby' seeing as its their life that we're talking about.'

exactly. this is exactly the kind of thinking that baby found so lacking in compassion when she went through her difficult time. black & white, moralistic, self-righteous - lacking in empathy for her.

flippinada · 04/06/2015 18:12

Yes, Pomerals observation about scientologists struck a chord with me too.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 04/06/2015 18:17

'All about the foetus' in the same way as if it was born it would be 'all about the baby' seeing as its their life that we're talking about.

LAstUser, its also this attitude that killed Savita Hallapannavar.

SabrinnaOfDystopia · 04/06/2015 18:21

Ok Flipp - can't see what you contributed aside from a lie about not answering questions anyway. Have a pleasant evening.

Bumbley you are just spamming a thread that was meant predominantly for women to share their experience of terminating a pregnancy. Flipp has shared her story - her posts are far more relevant to this thread than any of yours.

SabrinnaOfDystopia · 04/06/2015 18:22

And YY to the Scientology observation!

lastuseraccount123 · 04/06/2015 18:23

I remember reading about Savita :(. Poor woman.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 04/06/2015 18:26

Ok Flipp - can't see what you contributed aside from a lie about not answering questions anyway. Have a pleasant evening.

Bumbley you are just spamming a thread that was meant predominantly for women to share their experience of terminating a pregnancy. Flipp has shared her story - her posts are far more relevant to this thread than any of yours.

YY to this. That was a horrible post, bumbley, you should at least have the decency to withdraw it.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 04/06/2015 18:26

Flowers to TheBabyFacedAssassin

flippinada · 04/06/2015 18:28

Thanks Sabrinna, I appreciate that Smile.

flippinada · 04/06/2015 18:32

Thanks folks. I did ask MN to delete it as a personal attack but actually I'd prefer it stayed up.

Tbh comments like that reflect now on the person who's making them than the target, iykwim.

flippinada · 04/06/2015 18:33

*reflect more, is what I meant to say.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 04/06/2015 18:37

The majority of us valued your contributions ada, thanks for coming back after that Wink

flippinada · 04/06/2015 18:40

Right back at you Winter :)

leedy · 04/06/2015 18:48

What Winter said up there! That was a very unpleasant post from bumbley.

Meerka · 04/06/2015 19:02

Agreed with winter. The whole thread's been interesting, except for the Bumbley side-show.

bumbleymummy · 04/06/2015 19:08

leedy, it's obviously not stopping all abortions that's not the same thing though is it?

Winter, as said before, I can see abortion being brought it for restricted cases such as FFA but I think you're kidding yourself if you think the majority of people what 'abortion on demand' like the UK. I think the UK limit is likely to be reduced anyway.

I've had a few messages of support and defense myself Winter. I think they mean a bit more when they come from people who don't even agree with you but they see that you are being given an unnecessarily hard time because you have a different opinion. Thanks again to those people who, despite not agreeing with me, were at least recognising what was going on and spoke up Thanks.

lastuser, so are we all lacking empathy for the mothers whose children are born/develop life limiting conditions that we don't offer euthanasia for?

Winter, Savita could have been given an abortion in accordance with Irish law. The doctors did not do what they could have/should have done.

A personal attack? For pointing out that you lied about me not answering questions? Are you going to take that back? Should I report that as a personal attack?

re spamming the thread - As I pointed out earlier, I started off (with others) questioning whether these 'myths' you were trying to bust actually existed, moved on to correcting some of the nonsense/false accusations about pro-lifers and then ended up answering direct questions and defending myself.

Swipe left for the next trending thread