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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to be upset with nursery and WWYD? (Includes yucky photo so don't open if eating!)

61 replies

ILoveMyMonkey · 29/05/2015 14:23

So my 2.5 yr old DS went to nursery this morning, normally his nan picks him up but I was able to today.

He loves nursery and is always happy at drop off and pick up so not worried about how they treat him etc.

He often get's a sore bum on nursery days and occassionally hasn't been cleaned properly after a poo which is irritating but have just left it.

Today, however, is a whole new story. Was taking out emptying his nursery bag to get his dirty clothes (they often change them if they get grubby at lunch or in the garden) and his joggers are full of poo. He's still in nappies which we supply to nursery and we never ever get leaks at home, he wasn't soft or runny and it was literally lumps and squashed in as far down as his ankles!

I am absolutely fuming that a) he was left like this for so long without anyone smelling or noticing something and B) that the staff are clearly incompetent at putting nappies on - it shouldn't be that hard shpuld it given how many babies and toddlers they look after and therefore how mamy nappy changes they must do.

So, am I right to be angry? Wwyd? And how would you approach this with nursery without seeming like you're overreacting or one of "those" parents?

... to be upset with nursery and WWYD? (Includes yucky photo so don't open if eating!)
OP posts:
misssmapp · 29/05/2015 14:26

I'm a bit confused- was he wearing the joggers or were they in the dirty clothes bag? If they were in the bag, then presumably he was changed- but they should have told you.

If he was wearing them, then I would mention it next time and ask how his messy clothes/bum were missed.

MrsNextDoor · 29/05/2015 14:26

Well firstly there was no need for the pic. Secondly YANBU. Make an appointment. Show the manager the photo.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 29/05/2015 14:27

There was no mention of the state of his joggers at pick up?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 29/05/2015 14:27

I don't get it either. You seem to be assuming incompetence with no information and plenty of alternative explanations.

MrsNextDoor · 29/05/2015 14:32

Miss I assume they were in the bag but OP has seen his bottom sore in the past and she is assuming that he's been left in those joggers for quite some time as the poo is squashed all over them. I'd assume the same TBH.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 29/05/2015 14:36

Goodness me you're more than within your right to be angry.
I assume the nursery is still open. I would call and ask to speak to the manager asap. This should hAvd been brought to their attention long ago. This really is not acceptable. Your poor little one must hAvd been really uncomfortable.
Oh and for the record there is no such thing as being that mother when it comes to the care of your child that you are paying good money for.

Original poster
ILoveMyMonkey · 29/05/2015 14:38

He wore those joggers to nursery, they did change him into clean clothes but the state of them leads me to believe he was left like that for a long time before he was cleaned up.

No the nursery didnt say anything to me at all about it and often clothes dont come home but go missing and turn up a week or 2 later having been washed so now I'm wondering if it's happened before?!

I know the pic wasn't necessary but I did warn you in the title and I didn't think I could verbalise just how bad it was, hence the pic.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveMyMonkey · 29/05/2015 14:41

Thank you I live that's true I must remember that I'm my child's voice.

Mrs Next door exactly I can't imagine how uncomfortable he must have been.

OP posts:
amicissimma · 29/05/2015 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsNextDoor · 29/05/2015 14:46

Amic no.The OP says the poo is solid...not runny...that mess wouldn;t happy with a normal change! And it would not leak if it was solid.

listsandbudgets · 29/05/2015 14:48

Every now and then toddlers explode their nappies. It goes everywhere and trousers (and sometimes socks) really suffer regardless IME of whether the nappy was put on correctly or not. It can only take a few minute for trousers to get into that condition (voice of bitter and miserable experience)

The other thing I'd add is that my DS is the same age and loves playing with his nappy trying to pull it off - so it could have been put on properly then readjusted to your DS's liking Grin

If they were in his bag then he was changed and thus your only complaint is that you weren't warned about the state of them. I know I'd have liked prior warning!

If they were still on him then I don't know why you're wasting time postiing on mumsnet - I'd have been on the phone to the nursery manager within minutes.

Keep an eye on your little one it could be the first sign of a stomach bug (both my DCs have started like this in the past)

misssmapp · 29/05/2015 14:49

They should have let you know about the joggers, as they seem unusually messy for a normal 'change' IYSWIM.

I would ask for a meeting with the manager and explain your concerns. At my boys' nursery, that used to send home a dairy sheet with changes etx on, so you could see what had happened ( and how regularly ).

YANBU, especially if this is not the first time.

Original poster
ILoveMyMonkey · 29/05/2015 14:49

Amic I'm not sure how a mess like that could happen during a nappy change Confused. The poo was solid so why would it leak like that all the way to the ankles of his joggers? Would you seriously be ok if your child (in nappies) had an accident like this?

OP posts:
listsandbudgets · 29/05/2015 14:52

Was it solid or has it dried up so it appears solid?

I really am at a loss as to how solid poo could get that far.

PS throw the joggers out op I wouldnt' want to struggle to clean those!

Purplepoodle · 29/05/2015 14:55

Well I think they would have mentioned it. Could your ds be unfastening his nappy, under his joggers then running around (my two year old is mustard for it) then pooping. Staff might take 5 mins to notice. Just ring and ask what happened if your worried

WipsGlitter · 29/05/2015 14:56

Find out what happened before you go in all guns blazing!

Original poster
ILoveMyMonkey · 29/05/2015 14:56

lists it was solid, it actually wasn't that dry either Confused that's why I'm so shocked.

This is so grim sorry Blush.

Ha ha I've already scrubbed them and am now hot washing them - committed or what Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveMyMonkey · 29/05/2015 14:58

purple he's never done that to date but I guesd there's a first te for everything.

Thanks Wips will def go in calmly - not a very confrontational person at the best of times so hate things like this!

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveMyMonkey · 29/05/2015 14:59

*guess not guesd
*time not te

Gosh sorry for all the typing errors - fat fingers on phone!

OP posts:
PtolemysNeedle · 29/05/2015 14:59

I don't understand what makes you think that he was left like that for a long time. How can you tell by looking at the trousers now?

amicissimma · 29/05/2015 15:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 29/05/2015 15:01

Oh god, I too honestly can't see how that could have happened without him having been left like that fir a while til the weight of it all plus all the wee finally made the nappy give up the ghost. and then some, for it to be mushed around the joggers so badly.

not only will your poor child's bottom be sore, but it's a health hazard fir the other kids too if he gets it on his skin then goes down slides or touches tables

morethanpotatoprints · 29/05/2015 15:02

It looks like he didn't have a nappy on. Are they potty training, because that's what my ds x2 joggers looked like when I just put pants on and they didn't make it to the toilet in time.
definitely looks like no nappy to me.

dobbythedoggy · 29/05/2015 15:03

Again, no such thing as being that mother. In reality we need more of them to keep nurseries on their toes. It would improve practice so much if parents picked up on every little niggle.

In the amazing nursery I worked in joggers would not have been sent home to you like that. If unable to be rinsed and soaked they'd have been bagged up and handed over seperatly from the rest of his stuff.

Unfortantly there are staff in nurseries who can't fasen nappies properly and need to be taught how to clean a child's bottom properly. I've been responsable for training some of them. The MA graduate who took weeks to learn how to do a nappy change springs to mind. As does my manager moaning about not enough practical training to get childcare qualifications!

It sounds like the manager in yours really needs to step up and make sure the staff are up to the physical care aspect of the job. How do you want to approch it?

A phone call now would be a good idea. Then they can work out what happened, who changed ds and when, and who should have told you or whoever picked up about the soiled joggers.

I'd also surgest following up in writing, in a comments book if they have one. Saying what happened and asking what steps they are taking to make sure it doesn't happen again. From that I'd expect something alonge the lines of toileting and handover policy reviewed in staff training.

Hope they are sutiably mortified and give a good apology.

MrsNextDoor · 29/05/2015 15:04

It does potato you're right. I winder if someone forgot!