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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Restaurant AIBU

99 replies

RobbStarksBitch · 28/05/2015 22:56

I know this is going to sound petty and ridiculous and someone is going to ask why I can't just confront her but I felt like I needed to get this off of my chest.

Last night my DP and I went out for dinner with my sister and her new DP. All went well, fairly nice evening etc until it came to paying the bill.

The bill came to Â£80 so Â£40 per couple right? It was a buffet restaurant so cost each of us the exact same plus my sister and I both had the same drink as did our DP's so the bill should literally have been split down the middle. My DP pulls his wallet out and pulls some notes out which comes to Â£50. Sisters DP looks at what he has in his hand pulls Â£30 out of his own wallet and lays it down and my sister just sat and watched.

Who the actual fuck does that? DP and I were both to stunned to say anything and I was just really embarrassed to be honest. I felt like it really soured the evening.

Not to mention the fact we'd already bought a round of drinks before the meal.

So aibu to be pissed off? Again I know it sounds petty I just don't understand the thought process that went on in their heads!

OP posts:

ttc2015 · 29/05/2015 09:24

Pies? Piss

BolshierAyraStark · 29/05/2015 09:27

Your DH should have simply put £40 down & the £10 back in his wallet, it's really not hard & don't get why he didn't do this.
Either way I wouldn't be rushing to go for a meal with the free loaders again...

DragonWithAGirlTattoo · 29/05/2015 09:37

i still dont get why your DP put down £50? its not like you can put it down in notes and be waiting for change?

why didnt he just put down the £40 and leave it at that?

ttc2015 · 29/05/2015 09:44

Twinkle the problem is with that aibu I would say yes yabu! If anyone pulled out extra money I would say 'that's too much it's only x each' and then be very grateful if they wanted to put down more. I would never assume like that, I think you could assume like that in many a situation otherwise when others havent got change and need it.

AyeAmarok · 29/05/2015 10:02

Argh read the OP's posts, people!

OP's DP didn't "put down £50", he pulled out some notes from his wallet to count them, DSiS's BF saw the £50 and then told the Sis their share was £30. That is why she blames the DP.

OP is getting jumped on a bit unfairly here.

Purplepixiedust · 29/05/2015 10:11

Just because the DH had £50 in his hand and the DS and DP put down £30 doesnt mean the DH had to put the £50 down. He should have just put down the £40 and said 'here's our £40, you need another tenner'.

As he didn't and neither of you spoke up, it's really to late to address it now. They may have thought your DH was offering to pay £50 or may have been taking the piss. Either way, let it go and be clearer next time when the bill comes.

CuttingOutTheCrap · 29/05/2015 10:16

If the new dp told your sister their share was thirty, why did she only give him ten? Surely you either pay half or one of the couple pays the lot? Between her under paying and your dh overpaying the new dp was probably totally confused by the fact that none of your family seemed to want just to split the bill evenly!

FeijoaSundae · 29/05/2015 10:19

Her DH didn't put £50 down, he took notes out to count to put down, and it happened to be £50. The sister and DP were chancers.

Koalafications · 29/05/2015 10:21

But then he proceeded to put £50 down Feijoa he should have just put £40 down.

FeijoaSundae · 29/05/2015 10:34

Agreed, he should've.

DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 29/05/2015 10:43

ItsTricky
Yes there's a buffet restaurant in my town where you pay at the entrance for food and drinks. If you want more drinks you visit the bar.

Actually now I think about it, the last buffet restaurant I went to was like that.

AliceLidl · 29/05/2015 12:53

It does all sound a bit confused and odd.

Are you happy to write the money off or do you need it back? Can you just ask your sister for the £10 and explain the confusion.

WipsGlitter · 29/05/2015 12:59

You and DP sound like a right pair of mimsys! You should have just lifted the tenner and said something instead of "freezing".

ClawOfBumhead · 29/05/2015 13:05

This could be crossed wires.

He probably just assumed the other guy was offering to pay more.

If I want to pay a bit more because I know a (male) friend or relative is skint and I am flush, I don't say "Hey you haven't got any money, why don't you mooch off me!". I do it in a way that saves face for him.

I might say "No no you got it last time! Didn't you? Well you get it next time!", or I might do it in silence so that only we notice. It would depend on the situation I suppose.

RedKite1985 · 29/05/2015 13:18

I think YABU. The guy probably just assumed that is what your DP was paying. No doubt he would be incredibly embarassed if he realised

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 29/05/2015 13:27

I think you need to get over this - sounds like a bit of confusion all round

LuluJakey1 · 29/05/2015 13:37

Honestly OP, I would give up. Only.on here will you get people who manage to turn this round and blame you.

You are right. Your sister and her DP got it wrong.

LuluJakey1 · 29/05/2015 13:39

This has turned into a fight in a paper bag, as we would say in the north-east.

mewkins · 29/05/2015 13:43

It sounds like confusion. Say to your sister when you see her that there was a muddle over the bill and your dp is owed a tenner.

RabidFairy · 29/05/2015 14:04

It sounds like there was some confusion and no-one spoke up; neither you and your DH to explain that you were aiming to pay half of the bill, nor them asking why you were paying slightly more. First meal out together as a foursome, as far as I'm concerned, means you can all be let off. It can be awkward in that situation with a new person at the table to explain in the moment. I don't think anyone sounds particularly tight, just a bit awkward and confused.

amicissimma · 29/05/2015 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marshy · 29/05/2015 15:51

In all honesty, unless you're desperate for a tenner, I'd let it go now and just make sure you're clearer next time about how the bill is to be split get the right amount of money out

I think you should let them have the pies though

HappenstanceMarmite · 29/05/2015 15:51

FFS why all the attacking of OP? How many times have I read forums where MN leap on any hint of someone trying to swerve their share in a restaurant (and rightly so)!

Either one person picks up the whole tab with good grace, or it is shared fairly. Neither of those scenarios applied here.

biggles50 · 29/05/2015 23:44

First time meeting you he may have felt awkward and flustered, he probably just didn't think. Give him another chance and maybe not discuss with your sister. Sounds like a misunderstanding.

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