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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Getting engaged the morning after a friends' wedding?

101 replies

Sammo0 · 28/05/2015 16:37

Bad taste or ok? The morning after a friends wedding, a friend posted her news. Opinion is divided. What are your thoughts? Unreasonable and a bit attention-seeking or absolutely fine?

OP posts:

Hassled · 28/05/2015 20:46

I think it's very common - you go to a wedding and think actually, I could cope with some of this loveliness. That's how/when DH and I decided to marry (although no big FB announcement and no bended knees involved).

BIWI · 28/05/2015 20:48

Is it bad manners? I've never heard that before.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 28/05/2015 20:51

After hearing a friend's vow I decided that marriage was for me, but I left it a few months until the date was set

Wonkyparsnip · 28/05/2015 20:51

Totally fine. My sister got engaged the day after our wedding. Didn't mind at all. I didn't own weddings.

Wonkyparsnip · 28/05/2015 20:52

Plus I like to think they were inspired by our love!

ttc2015 · 28/05/2015 20:52

One of my cousins got engaged at the wake of her baby niece's funeral.. now that I found uncomfortable

That sounds awful Purple, poor parents of the baby.

zipzap · 28/05/2015 21:03

DH tried to propose to me the weekend of another friend's wedding and we nearly split up over it...

I thought it was really off of him to choose to do it on another friend's wedding weekend, plus it was in the morning, we were in bed in the hotel which I'd just been moaning about how bad it was (should have been lovely, but they were busy so we'd been put in an extension bit that obviously didn't get used very often as it stank of damp and wasn't nearly as nice as the rooms in the main part of the hotel which they had in the brochure, despite charging the same price for them), plus I was desperate to get out to go to the loo and he was so concerned about proposing he kept saying just wait a moment, this is important. Whereas I didn't care, I just wanted to get out of bed and I'd have been back in a couple of minutes.

I said no, don't be so ridiculous. He couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe he'd asked at that moment let alone that weekend. Train journey home was not a good one. However we did finally get hitched several years later...

I'd definitely be in the 'it's attention seeking' camp and think they should have waited an extra day or two.

CuppaSarah · 28/05/2015 21:29

Not a problem, getting engaged at a wedding(with the couples blessing) is fine in my books. Though I did ask dhs best man to propose to his girlfriend at our reception lots, he refused though. I accept I'm in the minority there. Weddings usually involve a weekend away somewhere nice, good food, good company. Perfect situation really.

CuppaSarah · 28/05/2015 21:31

In fact I'd say it's a compliment. It's like saying your wedding was so amazing and romantic is inspired another couple to go for it.

FeijoaSundae · 28/05/2015 21:37

Not a problem at all.

I can see why some people might be bothered if they were the one being proposed to (in fact, thinking about it, I may well have been), but as a bride it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

My BF was proposed to a couple of days after ours, and I was delighted for them. Obviously not the next day, but still.

Postchildrenpregranny · 28/05/2015 21:43

We 'announced' our engagement to many of our friends at a mutual friend's wedding-well, I waved my diamond- clad finger at the ushers as we entered church and the word went round. The groom (a very long standing and very dear school friend ) came down the aisle to hug and kiss me, he was so pleased for us, and asked everyone to drink a toast to us at the reception. It never occurred to me to wonder whether the bride (a lovely girl) minded . I suspect not, as she was and is a grown-up (we are still friends 33 years later).I think everyone just felt it added to the 'loved -up' feel of the day .

insideout · 28/05/2015 22:10

The day i was rushed into hospital with pre eclampsia, my 'd'b and his partner booked a special licence to get married the following week, i very nearly died and my poor mum was rushing all over the place, luckily me and dd were let out of hospital the day before the wedding,

my brother said he thought it would take everyones minds off me being ill !
Still feel sorry for his wife as everyone was more interested in my dd ( and unfortunately my norks were HUGE and thats pretty much what everyone points out in the photos )

sweetkitty · 28/05/2015 22:30

DH and I got engaged at a friends wedding!!!

I remember during the vows DP taking my hand and whispering that we should do this one day then at the reception he was talking to the bride for a while then he very sternly told me he needed to talk to me in our hotel room where he got down on one knee, turns out the bride had egged him on

That was in 1999, was a bit of a long engagement as we eventually got married 2 months ago! The poor bride and groom from the wedding didn't even make their 2 year anniversary.

Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 28/05/2015 22:57

I think the day after a wedding is fine to announce your engagement but during a wedding is wrong. If you plan to spend the rest of your lives together surely you can wait another day or two to tell everyone!

chiruri · 28/05/2015 23:03

A family friend of my DH proposed to his now fiancée in private at our wedding reception, and we found out about it the next day. I was absolutely delighted for them.
This wouldn't bother me at all.

LaLaLaaaa · 28/05/2015 23:10

My best mates got engaged a couple of days after our wedding and we were delighted for them! A wedding is one day, that's it. I was even happier when they asked if we minded if they booked venue we'd had, as they'd loved it so much.

I felt like it was a massive compliment and it was lovely to go back for their wedding a year later!

ClumsyFool · 29/05/2015 00:37

I don't see the issue at all. We got married abroad and one of my closest friends came out for it and was my bridesmaid. Her boyfriend who is also a very close friend of ours told me a couple of days before our wedding that he planned to propose while they were out there. Bless him he actually asked if we minded!! I told him as long as I wasn't saying my vows at the time I didn't care when he did it I was just thrilled that he was proposing to her!

He did it the day after our wedding and it was lovely and so exciting for us knowing it was going to happen and waiting for the inevitable phone call from my friend to share the news. It made the whole time even more memorable and it was lovely having our friends so happy.

You get a wedding day, not a week, month or whatever. Why anyone could be upset that someone else gets to be happy too is beyond me.

Hi5Hello · 29/05/2015 06:41

We got engaged in the October and through a Party... Where my Godmother and her Family and my Best Friend's family didn't turn up.

"Apparently" it was an open secret that my God mother's Son was planning to propose to my best friend at Christmas and the general consensus was I had been very selfish and should have waited....

20 years later and they still don't talk to me

drinkscabinet · 29/05/2015 06:55

Weddings beget weddings.

DH proposed to me at a friends wedding. We kept the news to ourselves for a few days but not out of repect for the couple, we wanted to enjoy it ourselves first. And this was pre FB etc so news wasn't shared with everyone you have shared a taxi with in the way it is now old gimmer . Lots of people announce engagements at big events thought surely, it's a good time to tell people personally.

BertrandRussell · 29/05/2015 07:06

"We 'announced' our engagement to many of our friends at a mutual friend's wedding-well, I waved my diamond- clad finger at the ushers as we entered church and the word went round. The groom (a very long standing and very dear school friend ) came down the aisle to hug and kiss me, he was so pleased for us, and asked everyone to drink a toast to us at the reception. It never occurred to me to wonder whether the bride (a lovely girl) minded ."

There's "getting engaged at a friend's wedding" and "getting engaged AT a friend's wedding"...................

Mehitabel6 · 29/05/2015 07:12

It would never occur to me that it was anything other than fine. The wedding is over. Why not?

PinkParsnips · 29/05/2015 07:15

My best friend and chief bridesmaid got engaged at our wedding and told us the next morning, I wasn't bothered in the slightest I thought it was lovely!

londonrach · 29/05/2015 07:29

Why this a problem?

ChoosandChipsandSealingWax · 29/05/2015 07:29

Likewise can't see the problem with it at all! I'm with all those who think actually it's rather lovely - if they're saying this kind if thing rather than being happy for her, they are not her friends.

Maki79 · 29/05/2015 07:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the posters request.

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