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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be glad I can't remember being breastfed?

410 replies

retrocutie · 28/05/2015 15:16

I just read this article in the, erm, Daily Mail. In it, a woman who is breastfeeding her 5 year-old and 2 year-old talks of her wish to still be breastfeeding when her kids are 10 years old. This makes me feel a bit uneasy. A child of 10 will remember being breastfed and I just think it is a bit yucky. Sorry. I am glad I wasn't still breastfed at that age. Some children are going through puberty at 10… I dunno, it just seems a bit, well, wrong somehow. At some point it becomes inappropriate, surely?

Not only that, but as is often the case in these families, the poor husband has been banished to the spare room so that the mother can co-sleep with the DC. Just seems a bit unfair. I feel more than a bit sorry for him.

AIBU?

OP posts:
ByeFelicia · 28/05/2015 18:38

Maybe she should consider expressing the milk instead.

Noctilucent · 28/05/2015 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Noctilucent · 28/05/2015 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Devora · 28/05/2015 18:54

Who bloody cares?! As long as it works for everybody involved.

I said upthread why I think it matters that we use good research. Because too many women get guilt-tripped and demonised, on both sides of the debate. Because we need to know whether and when we should spent taxpayers' money on public health promotion to persuade more women to breastfeed, and where/whether it should be left to individual choice.

Weathergames · 28/05/2015 18:57

ARGH MY EYES - inadvertently clicked on another breastfeeding bunfight.

ttc2015 · 28/05/2015 19:10

I would say by the time they get to two and certainly four, her children will decide if they want to still breastfeed. They obviously both want to.

Not really sure why half the newstories papers print are newsworthy, looks like there are plenty of people happily doing extended breastfeeding on mumsnet, all of who I'm sure would be more sensible then to chose the DM if they did want to get the idea out there.

BabyOnBoob · 28/05/2015 19:13

I'm going to feed my dd until she's 21 whether she likes it or not, and I'm going to make her ask for some Bitty McTitty in front of her friends.

MamaLazarou · 28/05/2015 19:22

Extended bf-ing does not generally bother me as it's not really any of my business what people do with their breasts.

HOWEVER, I remember watching a documentary several years ago where a woman was still feeding her two daughters, aged 10 and 12 and her milk had started to dry up. The interviewer asked the girls how they would feel when there was no more milk. The oldest child (nearly 13) said, 'We should still be allowed to suck'.

That's right, folks: a 13-year old girl sucking her mother's nipples just for fun.

Confused
littlejohnnydory · 28/05/2015 19:26

YABU. The children won't breastfeed at the age of ten - firstly because they find it very difficult to latch once they lose their milk teeth and secondly because they won't want to.

Why wouldn't you want your children to remember breastfeeding? It only matters if you are seeing some sexual connotations that aren't there. Do you mind children remembering having their nappy changed? Remembering having a bath together?

Natural term breastfeeding isn't something I chose. But fail to see why it matters to anyone outside of that family. And YABU to swallow sensationalist Daily Mail tripe whole.

sanfairyanne · 28/05/2015 19:48

anyone i know who remembers being bf looks back on it with fondness

splendide · 28/05/2015 19:54

I think it would be lovely to remember being breastfed! I had a horrible start to feeding and have ended up mix feeding which I feel terrible about. I'm hoping despite that I can feed for as long as possible. At 7 months he's dropping formula but still breastfeeding so fingers crossed!

TulipOHare · 28/05/2015 19:57

Minor, but it's REALLY REALLY HANDY when your toddler has D&V. Readymade rehydration drink with easily absorbed nutrients in a comforting ready to go package

Absolutely true! My DD had a horrendous stomach bug as a toddler - took her to A&E because we were worried sick, Dr there said if she wasn't breastfed she'd have needed to be admitted. As it was, she was still bf, and that got her through it. I remember thinking so many times over those 10 days "thank fuck for breastmilk!"

With that in mind, I decided on a minimum of two years bf for DS. As it turned out, he had his last bf the day before he turned 5. He can still remember it and if you ask him he says it was warm and sweet and happy. Yeah poor him having that memory eh Hmm

Seriously wish all those sniffing and tutting about this NORMAL human behaviour which has a huge array of physical and emotional benefits would just back the fuck off. It's pathetic Hmm

lomega · 28/05/2015 20:00

I loved bfing my son but I am glad I gave up and switched to formula when he was 6 months. I am a very hands on natural mum but but bfing him at 10? um no

BabyOnBoob · 28/05/2015 20:18

Ooops sorry, hope I haven't offended anyone with my 'joke' about feeding my dd until she's 21.

In all seriousness I enjoy bf my 11 month old and hope to continue for another year. I'll let dd decide when she wants to stop, I think.

As for my husband being banished to the other bed - who wants to sleep with a snoring fart machine Grin

He's definitely not banished, we just all sleep better with dd in with me and him in the other bed. Doesn't mean you can't have intimacy still.

Diamond23 · 28/05/2015 21:59

I didn't think it was possible to bf a 10 year old. Wouldn't they lose their ability to latch?

It's hard to get worked up about this typical DM hatchet job. Only something like 1% of babies are exclusively breastfed at 6 months let alone 6 years.

donemekmelarf · 28/05/2015 22:06

My daughter is 4.5. 2 of her closest peers (older than her) still breastfeed at night for comfort. Another stopped around 6 months ago.

So, you're saying that children who are old enough to be in Yr 1 and Yr 2 at school are still being breastfed at night? Shock
I've heard that some children are still in nappies ate that age, but didn't realize some are still being breastfed.

I think if they're old enough to go to school, they're old enough to stop breastfeeding.
But what do I know!

notquiteruralbliss · 28/05/2015 22:15

Co-slept and breast fed 4 DCs til 3 or older. Also spent 12 plus hours a day away from home working from when DCs were 3 to 6 weeks old. DH was fine with the situation as it allowed him to spend loads of time with DCs during the day and me to carry on with my work but still spend enough time with DCs.

donemekmelarf · 28/05/2015 22:17

I think that the people saying people probably look back on being breastfed with fondness are looking at things through rose-tinted spectacles.

I have three teenaged sons and I can tell you that if questioned, they would be mortified if they could remember being breastfed (even though I'm sure they found the experience comforting at the time).

I think nature makes us forget some things as adults - for a reason.

gamerchick · 28/05/2015 22:22

It's called natural term breastfeeding not extended breastfeeding.

Has some muppet said bitty yet?

Writerwannabe83 · 28/05/2015 22:25

I breast feed my 14m old and and have no intention of stopping anytime soon.

I don't see how giving him processed cows milk is more beneficial than giving him breast milk so why should I swap?

And as for expressing and giving it in a cup why on earth would I want to do? It takes me about half an hour just to express three ounces, god knows how long it would take me to produce a full feeds worth. Why would I swap a quick, easy, five minute breast feed for hours of expressing and faffing around with sterilisers?

I just don't see where the benefits are for mom or baby by either swapping to formula or swapping to expressing. Both are so unnecessary.

My DH does spend a lot of nights in the spare bedroom and I'm sure he's really hating having 10 hours of undisturbed sleep every night......why on earth would he want to be there when he could be with me and our squirmy, crying, grizzling, feeding baby all night instead? Grin

Feeding him at 14 months of age feels just as natural to me now as it did when he was a newborn. I am able to provide him with nutritious milk and provide instant comfort to him when he's upset and I really don't see why that should have to stop anytime in the near future.

sanfairyanne · 28/05/2015 22:26

teenagers are embarassed by everything to do with parents
teenage years are 7 years out of maybe 70 or 80
meh to what teenagers think Grin

the people i know who remember are all adults and they all remember it with fondness. why not?

DisappointedOne · 28/05/2015 22:27

So, you're saying that children who are old enough to be in Yr 1 and Yr 2 at school are still being breastfed at night? shock
I've heard that some children are still in nappies ate that age, but didn't realize some are still being breastfed.

They're all between 4.5 and 4.9. So no, not old enough to be in Yr 1 or 2. One is in reception class and the other is homeschooled.

The child who stopped feeding a wee while ago is still in nappies at night. Until they're dry it seems a bit pointless to her parents to stop.

I think if they're old enough to go to school, they're old enough to stop breastfeeding.
But what do I know!

Not much, evidently.

donemekmelarf · 28/05/2015 22:28

Most adults can't remember much before the age of 2, so I don't see how many can remember being breastfed.

My mother BF me, but I don't remember a thing about it.

jorahmormont · 28/05/2015 22:30

The alternative to breastfeeding a 14/15 month old baby isn't plonking a bottle of formula on them. DD is 13 months old and doesn't have formula, just cow's milk. It isn't lovely liquid gold or poisonous processed cow milk or whatever you want to call it.

PenguinBollards · 28/05/2015 22:34

Yes, that is indeed an alternative for those who choose to wean.

Those who are happy to continue bf-ing don't need to find an alternative.