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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be glad I can't remember being breastfed?

410 replies

retrocutie · 28/05/2015 15:16

I just read this article in the, erm, Daily Mail. In it, a woman who is breastfeeding her 5 year-old and 2 year-old talks of her wish to still be breastfeeding when her kids are 10 years old. This makes me feel a bit uneasy. A child of 10 will remember being breastfed and I just think it is a bit yucky. Sorry. I am glad I wasn't still breastfed at that age. Some children are going through puberty at 10… I dunno, it just seems a bit, well, wrong somehow. At some point it becomes inappropriate, surely?

Not only that, but as is often the case in these families, the poor husband has been banished to the spare room so that the mother can co-sleep with the DC. Just seems a bit unfair. I feel more than a bit sorry for him.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Aermingers · 31/05/2015 21:34

Yes. There's no emotional aspect to formula feeding because FF mothers don't love their kids. Hmm

spillyobeans · 31/05/2015 21:34

Pomeral - i wouldnt be surprised!

In the end its apparent that everyone here is just as passionate about doing what best for their child, which cant be a bad thing Smile

WoonerismSpit · 31/05/2015 21:35

DisappointedOne that is amazing...I'm totally in awe of you!

The beautiful and emotive descriptions people have given about breastfeeding memories have made me feel quite emotional actually.

BathshebaDarkstone · 31/05/2015 21:37

DS is 3.10 and has no recollection of being breastfed. We gave up when he was 23 months. I used to think I'd stop when he could ask for it, as that seemed "yucky", but actually I found him saying "obyyyyy" [booby] quite cute! Grin

I think by 10 I'd be saying "fuck off and let me have a life"! Shock

Stanky · 31/05/2015 21:38

I just wouldn't want to remember being breastfed as a 7 year old.

JasperDamerel · 31/05/2015 21:40

Why not? Children who do remember it, do so with happiness.

Stanky · 31/05/2015 21:43

You mean adults who remember it?

DisappointedOne · 31/05/2015 21:51

I'm totally in awe of you!

Blush

It was just the right thing to do at the time. Looking back it wasn't glamourous. I had to express every 3 hours regardless of how often she was hungry. I had to express in shopping centre and hotel (and aeroplane!) toilets. I drew the line at having to express at a relative's wake though, and that was the beginning of the end.......

I recently told DD that when she was a baby her milk came from me. She was amazed. I'm a bit sad that it's not something she would ever be able to remember.

JasperDamerel · 31/05/2015 21:52

Older children and adults. A happy memory is a happy memory.

BringBackCabinPressure · 31/05/2015 21:53

Both my children had teeth at 6 months, and could ask for it my saying "milk" by 9-10minths....

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 31/05/2015 21:56

spilly I wasn't being pro breastfeeding or anti anything. I'm pro women-making their-choices-without being-judged. You were judging people for their choices and I object to that.
I know plenty of women who breastfed for a good few years (age 8 is the oldest I know)- good for them, it worked for them. I know plenty who exclusively formula fed- fine. Worked for them. Me, I breastfed my daughter for just over a year. I am currently pregnant and planning in exclusively formula feeding. My reasons are mine and not up for debate. I am doing what's right for my whole family. Anyone who wants to judge anyone for doing their best is an idiot.

WoonerismSpit · 31/05/2015 22:07

DisappointedOne don't down play it, that takes a phenomenal level of dedication and effort. I hope that you tell her how you did it

NinkyNonkers · 31/05/2015 22:12

My suggestion to educate yourself was not intended maliciously. There were so many facets to BF and BM that I didn't know about before mine came along, that's all I meant.

NinkyNonkers · 31/05/2015 22:14

And I have no issue around FF. I have an issue with a society that is very odd towards BF, and a lack of support and accurate info around BF for those who want it. If everyone is making an informed and supported choice one way or another, feeds their babas something appropriate and loves them then crack on.

spillyobeans · 31/05/2015 22:19

guybrush i quote myself here " In the end its apparent that everyone here is just as passionate about doing what best for their child, which cant be a bad thing", im not judging someone for doing the best for their family. I would suggest that you read what has been said before looking like an idiot yourself

spillyobeans · 31/05/2015 22:20

ninky ok, maybe i just took it the wrong way

ShadowFire · 31/05/2015 22:29

I don't care if someone else chooses to FF their baby. It's their baby and their choice. I don't care if they continue to give their child formula in bottles until they're 6/7/whatever.

What I do care about is other people negatively judging me and other mum's who breastfeed past the minimum 6 months recommended, especially when I'm almost certain that if I was "still" bottle feeding my child, no-one would bat an eyelid.

Aermingers · 01/06/2015 00:22

It's interesting that none of the people who are upset about being judged for extended feeding and are apparently okay with breastfeeding has objected to the accusation from the OP that those who FF are actively harming their children....

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 01/06/2015 06:55

spilly "Personally I find breastfeeding beyond 12 months weird."
Just another one if your terribly non-judgemental posts there. Rather contradicts your post about appreciating everyone doing their best, doesn't it?
If you really do believe that we're all just doing our best and shouldn't be judged then that's great and I agree with you- but please live by that rule.
You seem to think that as long as you qualify it by saying "just my opinion", you can say any old offensive and judgemental shit you like and no one has the right to contradict you.

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 01/06/2015 06:57

Aerningers it was a ludicrous statement but hopefully it hadn't been picked up on too much because it was too ridiculous to even deserve a response.
I didn't ff but I know many women who have and have had people criticise them in real life as well. Generally there seems to be more abuse aimed at ff-ers than bf-ers. So unbelievably offensive, either way.

spillyobeans · 01/06/2015 07:54

Guybush- you seem to not understand basic sentance structure and vocabulary, 'personally' and 'for me' means that i am explaining why i feel this way, and is not at all judgemental. If i was going to be judgemental i would say 'you are weird for doing x because of y'.

I have said my opinion and reasons why i believe this, have you not done the same? How can you not understand this??

JasperDamerel · 01/06/2015 08:10

If I said, "personally, I find the idea of being friends with a black person a bit strange", that would be offensive.

If I said "personally, I feel that marrying someone of the same is a bit odd", that would be homophobic.

Adding "in my opinion" to a personal statement doesn't stop it from being a statement which is about other people.

I realise you might have meant "personally, I can't see myself breastfeeding a baby older than 12 months. That's the cut-off point that feels right to me, and I accept that it is a totally arbitrary one, and that many people feel it's right to breastfeed for far longer than that, or shorter than that, or not at all, and I respect all of those choices" but that isn't what you actually said.

JasperDamerel · 01/06/2015 08:11

(Of the same sex).

Aermingers · 01/06/2015 09:41

Guy I agree with you. I think there is much more abuse aimed at FF. I remember when I was in hospital with my son women who were struggling to breastfeed were being told that the were 'bad mothers' by the breastfeeding support staff. It's awful when people are in such vulnerable situations they're being bullied and harangued over this sort of thing. I've known several people who have been tipped over the edge into terrible postnatal depression with guilt over problems feeding being a large factor.

I think it's all about personal choice and doing what works for you and your family. I sincerely believe that there are many cases where a starving baby and a mother who struggling to feed, is depressed and being constantly harangued and guilt tripped by medical staff a bottle of formula is far less harmful than the sort of people like the OP who would tell them that they are deliberately harming their children.

That sort of attitude helps nobody, it doesn't encourage a soul to breastfeed, it just encourages other women to feel bad at a very vulnerable time. I think it's sad that the breastfeeding lobby, as all to often, will go spare about the slightest perceived slight towards them; but they're happy to let such offensive, nasty, harmful attitudes go unchallenged as long as the person who says them is a breastfeeder.

spillyobeans · 01/06/2015 10:29

Like talking to a brick wall.

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