to be glad I can't remember being breastfed?

[retrocutie]

I just read this article in the, erm, Daily Mail. In it, a woman who is breastfeeding her 5 year-old and 2 year-old talks of her wish to still be breastfeeding when her kids are 10 years old. This makes me feel a bit uneasy. A child of 10 will remember being breastfed and I just think it is a bit yucky. Sorry. I am glad I wasn't still breastfed at that age. Some children are going through puberty at 10… I dunno, it just seems a bit, well, wrong somehow. At some point it becomes inappropriate, surely?

Not only that, but as is often the case in these families, the poor husband has been banished to the spare room so that the mother can co-sleep with the DC. Just seems a bit unfair. I feel more than a bit sorry for him.

AIBU?

Actually Spilly - a lot of what you refer to "teaching" your children just happens WHEN they are ready for it - and the child decides that. No reall point in potty training until they are ready, no point in trying to teach a 6 month old to use cutlery - just provide it and they will just start zsing it when they are ready - my 18 month old is pretty good while my 4 year old still struggles a bit - readiness is variable.... Same with breastfeeding and weaning. When THEY are ready is best. You can forcibly wean of course if the mother has had enough, and of course that's a valid choice. But so is deciding to wait until the child is ready just as valid.

To be fair, the NHS website makes for pretty fucking depressing reading on this (thought I would see what it said).
Under drinks for babies and toddlers it talks about breast milk being food for the first six months.
The bit about children needing milk until the age of two comes under the cows milk section.
Is it any surprise then that people think they ought to swap their babies onto cows milk at some point fairly soon after six months?
sigh why is it apparently so fucking hard for the NHS to actually promote and support breastfeeding properly (have my own baggage here with lack of support for tongue tied baby).

however I've not made any personal attacks

Er, really?

"Anyone else just imagining a group of women all like the old lady out of little Britain here? Just me then..."

So slightly off topic, after what's been discussed, just wondering what your opinions are of women who choose to exclusively formula feed then? As you all seem pretty passionate about breastfeeding until a later age than me. (Honestly not asking in a malicious way just wondering)

Anyone who feels the need to refer to bitty on threads like this has lost the argument and is resorting to being a bit low.

pterodactyl that's hardly personal, trying for some comic relief in light of a conversation and not directed at anyone person like some of the comments have been to me!

Spilly, I think this is the bit where you find out these passionate advocates of personal choice for themselves believe that women who choose to formula feed should do what they tell them to.

You can't compare breastfeeding with formula feeding. Formula is just about giving them food.. Breastfeeding is not.
And anyone who brings up little Britain when talking about natural term breastfeeding is just showing themselves up to be ignorant and has no experience of what they're talking about at all.

Also on the 'what to feed young children' pages...
From the age of one, you can replace breast or infant formula with whole cows' milk or carry on breastfeeding. Try to give your child about three servings of milk a day, either as a drink or in the form of foods made from milk such as cheese, yoghurt or fromage frais.
No acknowledgement there about the benefits of breast milk over cows milk, just a brief 'you can carry on' (is it just me or is that poor wording...you can carry on, but hey, really... )
Am so depressed at that. Wish I'd never googled 'NHS toddler milk'.

what your opinions are of women who choose to exclusively formula feed then?

Their bodies, their choice. Entirely up to them.

I think it's up to them. I get annoyed when women who want to breastfeed don't get the support they need to do so, and I get annoyed when women aren't given the information to make an informed choice.

But if a woman makes an informed choice to formula feed, then that's what's best in her circumstances. It does annoy me that she then has to pay so much for formula in order to fund formula advertising.

Advice from midwives is to 'limit the amount of people who feed your child' in relation to formula feeding as it also provides/ has the association with comfort and reassurance as breastfeeding, albeit without skin to skin contact - you still get closeness and bonding

not directed at anyone person like some of the comments have been to me!

Yes - it is in fact directed at multiple people, implying they're weirdos who want to feed their children into adulthood, haha ewwww "bitty". Not offensive at all!

I don't have an opinion on someone choosing to formula feed from birth. I don't care really. It's their choice.

Isn't it different with formula because whole cows milk is fine for babies over one, so you can stop giving them expensive formula and move onto cheaper whole cows milk.
I doubt anyone would criticise formula feeding a 2/3/4 yr old beyond the financial aspect of why are you forking out for that?

I'm happy to breastfeed until the child stops naturally. Sometimes that's fairly young, sometimes not. I think I'd aim for two as a natural goal, as that's the vital stage for infant nutrition and development, but only if baby was happy to continue of course.

I'd probably try to wean before they start school, but the occasional feed a bedtime for comfort probably wouldn't worry me. I don't think children who did breastfeed longer would be made fun of if we didn't think it was abnormal, but I'd want to protect my child from any sort of bullying also, and I know it can get mean at school for any child seen to be not the norm.

We all still co-sleep, it's kind of a necessity as I only have my bed, it's a super king and there's me and two DCs (not resident currently), at nearly ten and seven, they don't seem to think it's weird. We all snuggle up, it's quite nice.

I disagree that formula feeding isn't emotional. Feeding your child is always an emotional thing however you do it.

Pomerallights - thats the advice the midwives and all the info books ive been givern tells you too

My mum is training to be a HV and she is happy to recommend continuing to two years old with the evidence base she has studied, so I think advice is improving, just hope support and public opinion will too.

Pterodactyl the definition of personal is directed at one person, not multiple people. Im sorry you were personally offended by my generalised comment that was meant to be lighthearted in the midst of a passionate debate.

Yes spilly so if you are being given wrong advice that contradictions the World Health Organisation guidelines it's no wonder this thread has come as a surprise.
Up until the age of two breast milk is preferable and cows milk is an acceptable substitute, much as under one breast milk is preferable and formula is an acceptable substitute.
Honestly sometimes I find myself conspiracy theorising that the NHS is secretly part funded by nestle and the dairy industry!

I wanted DD to have breastmilk so when breastfeeding didn't work for us (for several reasons) I expressed it. I did that for 8 months, while DH worked away and I had no family support locally. I bought the best pump I could get my hands on and took it week by week. DD had breastmilk for about 10 months. Then she had the best formula I could find for another 8 months or so.

Had breastfeeding been as easy as it became for my friends I might well still be feeding her now (at 4.5), as they are.

There are emotional aspects to feeding a child, whatever the choice of method, however I definitely found breastfeeding had a bigger impact on my emotional health. I've never been without medication for mental health, except when I was breastfeeding. The hormone boost for me was pretty significant, and the benefits for me in caring for my child were very apparent, no medication and a massive boost to my emotional health, meant a more secure baby with a stronger attachment. It certainly won't be like that for everyone, it's an anecdotal experience from having fed babies in both ways, but it made me more likely to want to breastfeed again.

I stopped when mine bit me. Ouch! Ds1 was around a year, and ds 2 was around 7 months. It was just too painful with teeth, so it seemed like a natural time to stop.

FanFuckingTastic I've got the same approach to breastfeeding. Once I survived the first few weeks and then got to grips with the "distracted but still hungry all the time" stage at about 3 months old when they discover the outside world... well after that I couldn't really see any reason to stop and every reason to keep going. My personal goal was age 2 but it was his 1st birthday today and he's pretty much given up Okay, I'm only a tiny bit sad.

I can't understand why it would be so gross or weird to remember being breastfed. When my baby used to fall asleep suckling he looked so cosy and comforted and totally enveloped in just pure snugliness. I used to try and imagine what it would be like to be a baby feel that you're just totally a part of your mother still and totally safe, warm, well fed and comforted, without any cares in the world. It must be a lovely feeling. I think it's actually kind of sad we usually don't remember that feeling!