to be glad I can't remember being breastfed?

[retrocutie]

I just read this article in the, erm, Daily Mail. In it, a woman who is breastfeeding her 5 year-old and 2 year-old talks of her wish to still be breastfeeding when her kids are 10 years old. This makes me feel a bit uneasy. A child of 10 will remember being breastfed and I just think it is a bit yucky. Sorry. I am glad I wasn't still breastfed at that age. Some children are going through puberty at 10… I dunno, it just seems a bit, well, wrong somehow. At some point it becomes inappropriate, surely?

Not only that, but as is often the case in these families, the poor husband has been banished to the spare room so that the mother can co-sleep with the DC. Just seems a bit unfair. I feel more than a bit sorry for him.

AIBU?

I am very pro breastfeeding until whenever you like but the arguments pitted here (and generally) are ridiculous. You need to take your babies teddy off her? Yeah because that sort of comforter is exactly like a mothers nipple. The teddy really has involvement in the relationship. Not a ridiculous comparison at all

Because a teddy and breastfeeding are really comparable.

I'm just expressing my opinion, and why it differs from yours.

An extra example - breastfeeding a 10 yr old (as mentioned by oh in original post), a general consensus is that it would be weird. For me I think 12 months is plenty, for others slightly older at 3 or 4 etc that you have mentioned.... so where is the cut off point? This is really the debate here.

If Breast milk is really amazing etc and so valuable that we should be doing it for such an extended period of time, then why as adults are we not drinking it? Because there is a cut off point

The sheer wrongheadedness of "but they don't NEED it at that age!" is dumbfounding. Breastmilk is an incredibly healthy foodstuff, packed with bioavailable vitamins and minerals (that's without even touching on the benefits to the immune system and the emotional rewards). That doesn't disappear overnight when the child turns one or two, or three, or four. In fact the breastmilk changes and adapts over that time to suit the child's needs. Why on earth would I impose some arbitrary cut-off of this top-notch food just because my baby is able to consume other foods as well?

If there existed a vegetable, for example, that contained everything breastmilk does in as highly bioavailable a form, people would be falling over themselves to buy it and feed it to their DC! And yet bm, which is free and plentiful, we should refuse our toddlers and allow to dry up because - why is that, again?

Breastfed toddlers eat a variety of different foods just like any other child, just with bm as well.

Breastfed toddlers progress and grow and take appropriate steps towards independence and reach milestones just like any other child. They just have the odd, quick 5-minute glug of the good stuff as well.

I've raised two bright, happy, affectionate, confident children, bf till two and five years old respectively, and sweet Jesus fucking Christ the utter stupidity of some of the pearl-clutching posts on these threads is staggering.

makeminea6x society would deem a 10+ child with a teddy fine, I don't think the same could be said for still being in nappies or breastfeeding.

Another argument being made here is breastfeeding is not just for nutrition but for comfort - so if I'm scared and upset should I ring my mum up and go round for a quick suck on her boob? Erm no.

Tulips you are falling into the trap of saying 'Science says' and then parroting studies which support your point as though they are indisputable facts.

'Science' is not a single immutable set of facts which all agree with each other. The things you claim as 'fact' have been disputed by other studies which say the differences are down to class.

Given your high handed nasty attitude towards the way other women may or may not feed I am extremely glad you got a good kicking in the Daily Mail. I think it was a thoroughly deserved and overdue taste of your own medicine.

I don't know how you can have the brass neck to come on here and whinge about other people criticising your choices and then lay into other people in just the same spiteful, nasty, woman hating manner.

You should be ashamed of yourself, people like you don't encourage a single person to breastfeed. But then that's not the intention is it? You just want to make other people feel bad so you can make yourself feel superior in the process. Sad.

spilly there's research going on into whether some of the components of breastmilk could be used to treat cancer in adults. There are adults drinking breastmilk (not from the source ) just in case that's true..........

Another argument being made here is breastfeeding is not just for nutrition but for comfort - so if I'm scared and upset should I ring my mum up and go round for a quick suck on her boob? Erm no.

Do you expect a 2/3/4/5 year old to have the emotional intelligence of a grown adult?

If there existed a vegetable, for example, that contained everything breastmilk does in as highly bioavailable a form, people would be falling over themselves to buy it and feed it to their DC!
Exactly. But then it could be stated as scientifically proven on an advert by someone who wanted to sell it to us. And that would make it alright and desirable and who cares about anyone who can't afford it.
Make it produced in a human body though and available to the vast majority (yes, not all) it gets labelled as an offensive secretion that is only bearable for a short amount of time.

The thing is that children who are allowed to breastfeed for as long as they like don't continue into adulthood. Apart from anything else, children lose their ability to breastfeed at around the age of 6, once they've lost their first batch of milk teeth.

I only breastfed DS until he was 2 years old but after he stopped I did miss the fact that if he got a vomiting or tummy bug I seemed to have very few worries about rehydration (unless it was very severe). Ds always seemed to take breast milk if he was ill, even if he vomitted it up etc, he would take more very soon after. I had no need to force down rehydration drinks in tiny sips, he would just bob on and off the breast for hours. I did really miss that the first time he got a tummy bug after he stopped breast feeding. I was suddenly worried about how to get him to drink something.

So in general, I think the longer a child breast feeds the better but I also think hoping that they will breastfeed until 10 us a bit odd

Tulip - wrongheaded that they don't need it at that age..so I assume you must be drinking your own milk and feeding your husband it then? No? Hmm I wonder why because it's fucking weird!

No one has stated an arbitrary age, I'm just saying there obviously is a cut off point because if not then why, as adults, do we not drink it? If milk was not meant for babies/children then would women not produce milk indefinitely?

God.

Anyone else just imagining a group of women all like the old lady out of little Britain here? Just me then...

I'm trying not to be drawn into being nasty here so I'm sorry!

Dissappointed - I've heard a lot of bodybuilders are trying it! (Although I really hope it is expressed bags rather than from the actual boob!)

There is a cut off age which is HOWEVER OLD THE CHILD IS WHEN THEY DECIDE TO STOP OR LOSE THEIR LATCH.

This happens at a variety of ages, but always well before adulthood.

Surely the cut off point is when they stop breastfeeding naturally? So anything between 2 and 4 is usual, and 5-7 being the extreme end of normal. I actually have only heard of one 7 year old still occasionally feeding so very unusual.

I am curious as to what people perceive the problems to be in breastfeeding until a child weans itself. I can't think of any negative effects, only benefits, for the child, and nothing apart from possible inconvenience for the mother, and the inconvenience of having an inconvenienced partner for the father.

Because a teddy and breastfeeding are really comparable

Let's try it another way:

"It's wrong to breastfeed children past infancy. They don't strictly need it at that age. They need to grow out of it at some point. Once they get old enough to ask for it and reach out for it, they should be considered too old to have it."

That's what you're saying, right?

But there are lots of things that meet all the same criteria you're using for breastfeeding there - things we give to babies, aren't strictly necessary for their survival, are things they still want when they're old enough to ask for, and grow out of at some point. Teddy bears, nursery rhymes, bedtime stories, etc.

We don't think those things should be stopped once children hit their first birthday. So why is breastfeeding different? Because... it just is?

Nobody's business but her own really, is it.

Too late spilly. You started off nasty.

You're being quite offensive now. Cut off tends to be when they stop being able to latch...normally when they lose their MILK TEETH and get their adult ones. Adults have fully fledged immune systems and as such don't need the boost that breast milk gives. BF into toodlerhood does wonders for the immune system. There is nothing remotely weird about breast milk, I've drunk mine as has my husband as an experiment. It actually does have health benefits for some adults too, there is quite a 'black market'.

I'm assuming you don't have children yet from your wording, Can I suggest that you educate yourself on it a little before it appears? There are loads of good books around. And if you want to see why so many people are a bit feisty about it, have a look at 'The Politics of Breastfeeding'...fascinating

Jasper - I can see your point, however the differing opinion I would like to put out there is: like other aspects of childhood development, as a parent you gauge when at what age certain things/actions/behaviours become unreasonable or unacceptable and you teach your child to change their behaviour - thus preparing them for adulthood (actions and by this I don't mean I expect a child to be an adult - it's part of their journey into adulthood) and, for me, breastfeeding is no exception.

Well, it clearly is an exception for you, or you'd be expecting them to stop everything else from childhood at bang on 12 months too...

I would argue that it is an exception as there are benefits to breastfeeding and milk that there aren't to things like teddies

As I say spilly, your ideas are just ideas at the moment. These babies are born with personalities and ideas of their own

I've always done it the other way around. To me, parenting is about providing my children with the secure, comforting stable base that lets them feel comfortable enough to take risks, and take steps towards independence. My children breastfed until they decided to stop (and one was really quite old, even by self-weaning standards). Their teachers comments tend to comment on their maturity, confidence and independence - they are very far from being clingy infants.

If you had read my previous posts, I have said a few times about not stating an arbitrary cut off age, I mentioned that for me 12 months seemed reasonable, for others slightly later. What I am debating here, is that there does seem to be some kind of cut off point, however different to each person.

I am simply debating my opinion, so miss quote and put words into my mouth "that's what you really mean isn't it" is just beside the point.

I may be one of the few here with a differing opinion, however I've not made any personal attacks, so to make the assumption that I have not read up around the issue and saying I should "educate myself" before I have my child is pretty nasty.