WIBU to boot my paper shredder up and down the driveway...

[KurriKurri]

Until it learns that its job is to shred paper, and if it can't do that then it can fuck off?

Its not full, its not jammed.

One piece of A4 paper - it gets three quarters of the way through then the grinding and moaning starts, then it does the clicking noise, then it stops.

Two pieces of paper -we get a laboured chugging noise as an inch of the papers is slowly digested, then it stops, no power, no nothing. Just gives up. Half an hour later it will start up again and make a feeble attempt to strain its way though a couple more inches.

I have taken of the lid,I have pulled out any tiny shreds of paper in evidence in the blades, I have rammed a screwdriver in and out of it. But nothing.

What the fuck is the point of this machine, it would be quicker to shred the paper with my teeth

Get an incinerator instead. Aldi/Lidl/Wilkos, £20, job done and so much more fun.

My shredder is shit too!

Lowry is that to incinerate the paper - or the shredder?

God I would love to incinerate the bastard - it may come to that. I am having a large cup of coffee and some cheese footballs to calm down. After spending an hour at midnight last night wrestling with a printer that wouldn't print things, because it thinks it can just sit under the desk looking decorative, I have just about had it with machines and their nonsense. From now on they get one chance to do their job then it's kick into touch time.

How old is it? Ours started doing that "woe is me, I can't cope" stuff.
We have bought a new one. Its ACE!
Send it to the tip (in the waste electrical bin). It can join ours.

I think its about 3 years old addicted. But its never worked very well, it is supposed to take five sheets of paper at a time (it's never been able to do that) it's supposed to happily chew up plastic bank cards On a good day it can manage two or three small receipts before it puts on the 'poor me' act.

Sounds like our sorry excuse of a shredder we used to have, I ended up taking bags of paperwork into the office to use the much more capable shredders there.

You want one like my neighbour, you do.
He shreds EVERYTHING and puts it in the garden waste bin (allowed here)...including my garden waste bin when the binmen swapped them over by mistake one week.

Now I have millions of tiny shitty scrappy bits of his documents lining the bottom of what was my pretty clean (if damp) green bin. Grrrrrr.

Sounds fun op, I have a cricket bat that I have threatener our computer with several times. Of course it doesn't help that ds keeps dropping his toys in the paper feed of the printer.
We have a pathetic excuse for a shredder too. Its more a sort of nibbler. Anything important gets taken to DH work where they have a sort of macerator thing that can eat who training manuals, or so he says.

I did kick a printer across a room once. Damn thing was doing its best to ruin some very important work.

Sounds fun op, I have a cricket bat that I have threatener our computer with several times. Of course it doesn't help that ds keeps dropping his toys in the paper feed of the printer.
We have a pathetic excuse for a shredder too. Its more a sort of nibbler. Anything important gets taken to DH work where they have a sort of macerator thing that can eat who training manuals, or so he says.

I did kick a printer across a room once. Damn thing was doing its best to ruin some very important work.

Sounds fun op, I have a cricket bat that I have threatener our computer with several times. Of course it doesn't help that ds keeps dropping his toys in the paper feed of the printer.
We have a pathetic excuse for a shredder too. Its more a sort of nibbler. Anything important gets taken to DH work where they have a sort of macerator thing that can eat who training manuals, or so he says.

I did kick a printer across a room once. Damn thing was doing its best to ruin some very important work.

And now I'm going to have to use the cricket bat on this bloody tablet!

I bashed a printer with my fist before taking it to the tip once.

In my defence, it was already broken and I did take it to the electrical recycling place. It was not economical to repair but it was not old and should not have broken and I really needed it that day!

Get a wood burning stove.

Then your DP can take great delight in burning everything he can get his hands on.

Documents, food sleeves, egg boxes, tetra packs, shoes, electric tin openers etc.....

We have a company near us who shred paper (in front of you so you can check it's actually done) for an extremely reasonable rate. I had a massive bag of paper done for less than a fiver, which I probably would have had to pay to my kids for standing there for hours in front of our useless shredder. So worth it.

That sounds like a good idea LadyPeterWimsey, I would happily pay someone to do it for me. Might see if there is somewhere round here.

Fatstacks - I don't have a DP - but my XH used to stand and watch me shredding stuff quivering with anxiety because I was 'doing shredding wrong'

Rackofpeas -I like the sound of a macerator, I'd like to just tip the whole lot in and see it chopped up. So far today I have managed about ten pieces of paper (I have a suitcase full of stuff to shred) it is doing one piece only now - one piece very slowly then the safety cut out comes into operation, because you know ANYTHING could happen if you tried to shred more than one piece of paper.