Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mumsnet jury needed - was this really cheeky or am I getting my panties in a knot over nothing

70 replies

lomega · 26/05/2015 21:32

Day before yesterday DH and I went out to drop some clothes off at a nearby charity shop which we support the cause of. There were a fair few bits in a big Bag For Life, mostly clothes my DC had outgrown and a couple of DH's pairs of jeans he didn't want any more. It was all of good quality and we don't sell it on as we feel that if a charity can benefit/we can have a clearout/some other parents get nice stuff for a low price, so be it.
Anyway our chosen charity shop was shut and it was the only one in the area we were visiting, so we decided to leave the bag of clothes outside the front door. Other people had left donations heaped up too in bags, so we assumed it'd be fine as there was a front porch bit, so if it rained the items wouldn't be ruined.
As it was a nice day anyway we took DC to a nearby park since we'd made the trip out, and we went to play for half an hour or so.

When we were walking back to our car, past the (still closed) charity shop, we noticed our bag of donations wasn't there any more. I pointed this out to DH and we assumed perhaps someone had come to sort donations out but didn't have the staff to man it for it to be open.
Lo and behold, we get to the car park, and I see a lady carrying off our bag of stuff and loading it into her own vehicle! She also had another of the bags that had been in front of the charity shop doors, so had clearly had a good rummage, seen stuff she wanted, and decided to take it.

DH and I can't decide if this bothers us or not so it's more of a WWYD/WIBU 'in retrospect' - am I being a bit mean thinking you just don't steal stuff from the front of a charity shop that's been donated to that very cause? It was very clear/obvious it WAS a donation, not just put out for the general public to take for free. I wanted to go up to the woman and say "did you at least put a donation through the letter box???" but tbh I was a little shocked anyone would take things intended for charity in the first place.
On the other hand, she might have been in dire need herself and had DC that needed the clothes, in which case I'd be much less bothered. And also as I'd just chosen to leave the clothes outside, instead of going back another day, I'm partly to blame because the items were left at my own risk. I suppose I'm too trusting of the public and assumed people wouldn't take the clothes, but some would say that's naïve of me!

All over now and it's been and gone but what would you have thought??

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 26/05/2015 21:36

It's skanky, no question about that- but also the risk you take if you dump stuff in a public place for anyone to help themselves to.

*pulls splinters out of arse.

wreckingball · 26/05/2015 21:37

Sorry but most Charity shops have signs on the doors asking that you don't leave bags of donated clothes outside when they are closed because they either get nicked or rifled through leaving a mess.
I thought everyone knew that.

bumbleymummy · 26/05/2015 21:37

I would have thought it was really cheeky and probably would have said something to her. She just stole from a charity!

mumteedum · 26/05/2015 21:38

Yabu for using the word panties helpful

Happybodybunny12 · 26/05/2015 21:38

Cheeky mare. Yanbu.

wreckingball · 26/05/2015 21:38

She'll probably car boot them at the weekend...

wreckingball · 26/05/2015 21:40

Ah yes mumteedum panties is tres U .
Awful word.

Happybodybunny12 · 26/05/2015 21:40

Quite normal to leave bags outside our local shops and never seen any notices to the contrary.

Maybe depends where you live

Original poster
lomega · 26/05/2015 21:40

Haha sorry memtee - 'knickers' there we are Grin

This particular shop did not have any such sign WreckingBall, infact in the past when we've taken things in they've said they don't mind things being left. It wasn't a central high street/town location, it was a bit more out in the sticks, so I guess donations are a little more scarce. The ones in town near me all say don't leave things outside.

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 26/05/2015 21:41

I would have had to say something I think. Cheeky as Fuck, however hard up you are.

But yeah, you shouldn't have left it outside :)

hedgehogsdontbite · 26/05/2015 21:41

I think that is someone is in a position where they feel they have to steal second hand clothes from a charity shop let them crack on with it and be thankful you haven't sunk so low.

CalleighDoodle · 26/05/2015 21:42

She might have been weighing it in as rags for the cash

tippytappywriter · 26/05/2015 21:42

It was cheeky but you are getting in a knot. Next time wait till the charity shop is open. She didn't technically steal them...you dumped them in a public place.

Notso · 26/05/2015 21:42

All the charity shops here have big signs asking people not to leave donations when the shop is closed. The people who pick through left items leave the stuff in such a mess. Many items are taken to be sold on Ebay and Facebook.
I once left a bag of clothes outside my house to be collected. I went out and came home to find some stuff was missing. A few days later I saw a woman who lived down the road wearing my shoes and cardigan.

If you want items to go to a particular charity then I guess you need to make sure they get them.

BrianButterfield · 26/05/2015 21:42

Well, it's cheeky of her but you shouldn't have left it there. I'd take the view that you wanted IT gone and it's gone. Your part of this story is over.

Cocolepew · 26/05/2015 21:42

They'll be on ebay now.

iklboo · 26/05/2015 21:42

Clutching wildly at straws - but could she maybe work there, drove past & saw the bags, decided to take them home got safekeeping until today?

WorraLiberty · 26/05/2015 21:44

She shouldn't have nicked them.

You shouldn't have dumped the stuff in the doorway.

Most charity shops have signs up telling people not to do this.

The bags dumped in a doorway in my local town centre, got set alight one year and the whole shop front was ruined.

MissDemelzaCarne · 26/05/2015 21:47

She shouldn't have taken them but you shouldn't have left them there.

Original poster
lomega · 26/05/2015 21:47

Normally I give items to whichever ones are open when I'm in town as there are several that I support nearby; it's just that this one was in a more remote area, so after driving out to give the items/take DC to the park, I (stupidly) assumed it'd be ok til morning as other people had left things.

Ah well, it wasn't great form of the lady but next time I know what NOT to do. And will have to just make a donation to the charity directly instead, since that's what my initial intention had been!

OP posts:
EponasWildDaughter · 26/05/2015 21:49

There is a chance she works at the shop (or one of it's branches) and was taking the bags for safekeeping, or straight to another branch.

My DD did some voluntary work in a charity shop recently and was surprised to find that a great deal of the donated bags go straight to a central sorting area, and then the designer gear gets sent to more affluent areas things are split up and sent out to different branches.

londonrach · 26/05/2015 21:49

Worra same happened in town neAr where i lived iat that time in surrey but about 7 years ago.

RB68 · 26/05/2015 21:51

And the off duty charity shop manager or volunteer who is peed off with inconsiderate folk dumping and running is using her own time to collect stuff left outside the shop when she doesn't have her shop keys with her....

You have made some sweeping assumptions here.

But by leaving outside of shop you are actually fly tipping, next time just move along to the next open shop.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 26/05/2015 21:51

I thought it was common knowledge that stuff gets stolen. All the charity shops here have big signs saying not to leave donations outside the doors.

flora717 · 26/05/2015 21:52

She might work at the shop. Or she might intend to sell them by weight (As happens to the majority of those bags that get pushed through doors to Fill).

Swipe left for the next trending thread