Mumsnet jury needed - was this really cheeky or am I getting my panties in a knot over nothing

[lomega]

Day before yesterday DH and I went out to drop some clothes off at a nearby charity shop which we support the cause of. There were a fair few bits in a big Bag For Life, mostly clothes my DC had outgrown and a couple of DH's pairs of jeans he didn't want any more. It was all of good quality and we don't sell it on as we feel that if a charity can benefit/we can have a clearout/some other parents get nice stuff for a low price, so be it.
Anyway our chosen charity shop was shut and it was the only one in the area we were visiting, so we decided to leave the bag of clothes outside the front door. Other people had left donations heaped up too in bags, so we assumed it'd be fine as there was a front porch bit, so if it rained the items wouldn't be ruined.
As it was a nice day anyway we took DC to a nearby park since we'd made the trip out, and we went to play for half an hour or so.

When we were walking back to our car, past the (still closed) charity shop, we noticed our bag of donations wasn't there any more. I pointed this out to DH and we assumed perhaps someone had come to sort donations out but didn't have the staff to man it for it to be open.
Lo and behold, we get to the car park, and I see a lady carrying off our bag of stuff and loading it into her own vehicle! She also had another of the bags that had been in front of the charity shop doors, so had clearly had a good rummage, seen stuff she wanted, and decided to take it.

DH and I can't decide if this bothers us or not so it's more of a WWYD/WIBU 'in retrospect' - am I being a bit mean thinking you just don't steal stuff from the front of a charity shop that's been donated to that very cause? It was very clear/obvious it WAS a donation, not just put out for the general public to take for free. I wanted to go up to the woman and say "did you at least put a donation through the letter box???" but tbh I was a little shocked anyone would take things intended for charity in the first place.
On the other hand, she might have been in dire need herself and had DC that needed the clothes, in which case I'd be much less bothered. And also as I'd just chosen to leave the clothes outside, instead of going back another day, I'm partly to blame because the items were left at my own risk. I suppose I'm too trusting of the public and assumed people wouldn't take the clothes, but some would say that's naïve of me!

All over now and it's been and gone but what would you have thought??

Here in Florida if you leave anything outside a closed charity shop it has to be thrown away (in case it's been contaminated). They have ads all the time asking you not to leave things because it costs charities so much to dispose of them but every weekend you see people pulling stuff up outside.

It's quite possible she was a passing shop volunteer or friend of a volunteer and decided to take the stuff so it wouldn't get nicked. You should have asked her what she was up to!

Ah you weren't an idiot - don't be so harsh on yourself. You know now for next time.

And the person who cleared the items from the pavement can been seen as doing both you (clearing fly tipping) and the charity (no rubbish to dispose of next day) a favour so win win intervention on her part.

I'm feeling a bit sorry for the OP. She did the right thing by donating the clothes to charity instead of flogging them on ebay, was a bit silly to leave them outside the shop ad then some lowlife came and nicked them - but most of the comments are about leaving the bags outside the shop rather than about her actually query.

I was surprised that the OP had dropped the bags outside, because all the shops round here have signs asking you not to. But I'm naïve enough not to have realised that people nicked them. I always thought it was just cos of the seagulls - they're always ripping open black bags that are left in the town centre and scattering rubbish everywhere. I just thought charity shops didn't want them to make the same mess with the donations.
I can't really see the problem with leaving a bag outside a shop in a rural area, if it's standard practice and the shop staff have said they don't mind.

But I do have a big problem with the scummy woman who nicked the donations. I doubt very much that she was too poor to afford to buy the clothes that she needed. Much more likely that she's going to sell anything that she thinks she can get money for, and give the rest to one of the non-charity clothing banks that pay by weight.
She's stealing from a charity and that's inexcusable.

I hate it when people leave bags of clothes/bric-a-brac outside charity shops.

1] it's lazy..just take it back when it's open
2] some people who pass by think it is is hilarious to rip open the bags & throw clothes all over the place (thinking back to one Christmas where someone has thrown them over the at-least-20-ft Christmas tree in the town centre on year)
3] people WILL take stuff, because they don't care.

So yes, you are being unreasonable.

british heart foundation will give a donation bin to workplaces(big red wheelie bin) I bet other charities do too. Much easier to donate when you work and charity shops open 10-4 etc. they collect it when full. Maybe see if your workplace could do that.

She could have been a volunteer taking it home for safekeeping - did she take the lot? In that case I say volunteer. Many a time have I been coming back from town, only to spot a lonely bag outside the Sally Army, where I volunteer, left sadly to get wet or nicked.

Wearily I drag it up the hill and bring it back the next day - wet stuff is a nightmare for us to dry and otherwise it gets pinched. Mind you, I have also rummaged and picked the best bits out if the bag is vast and I can't face staggering home with it. All the volunteers here do it.

The faces people pull when they see you doing it are priceless.

Sometimes I explain, sometimes I don't - particularly if they're looking very cat's bum. You just know anyone that judgemental is too unpleasant to ever soil their sanctimonious selfish hands to work free for a charity, so the joke's on them.

caria she wasn't stealing from a charity though. The charities don't want goods that have been fly tipped outside their shop. She picked up/took illegally dumped rubbish.

Gablian. why would it be worse than going to landfill??

she will be e baying them.
likewise early birds to car boot sales/jumble sales.
also e baying.
making money.

the original rag and bone man given credence by virtue of the internet.

A charity shop in a nearby town to us actually burned down because vandals set fire to the bags people had left outside when it was shut.

The woman who works in my local one said that they don't even go through bags left on the doorstep, they have to chuck them straight in the skip because people on the way home from the pub late at night tend to pee in them, and rats sometimes get in them as well.

The charity then has to pay even more to have the skip emptied as it gets full much quicker. She said she dreads Monday mornings because they can't even get to the front door to open it when they arrive as so many people dump their unsold junk there on the way home from the car boot sales.

fastcars I think dropping off bags of stuff to charity shops is often a bit of a cop out. A lot of people do it because they can't be bothered to have a boot sale, go on ebay or go the tip. are you actually serious? This is a bonkers comment! When I give to charity it isn't because I 'can't be bothered' to do something self serving instead - it's because I've decided it's the best use of the stuff. I can't believe someone actually thinks like this.
OP - YANBU to be pissed off with the woman, but I'd let it go and make a mental more not to leave stuff outside shops in future for all the reasons others have given.

I'm decluttering in the run up to moving house, and sometimes it is a bit of a challenge getting stuff to a charity shop when it's open - when you work in the week and Saturday is the only option, then there's all the usual challenge of trying to find somewhere to park anywhere within staggering-under-the-weight-of-bags distance. With clothes now I always go to the charity clothing "banks" at the recycling centre which is open till almost 7pm, or the ones at the supermarket which are 24/7 access. Our recycling centre has an Oxfam bin for books now too - it's really just the more 'bric a brac' stuff I can't find anywhere to take other than ye olde charity shops directly. I understand why having secure 'bins' for that sort of stuff outside the shops would most likely lead to a lot of rubbish being stuffed in there, so not sure what else they could do. I just try to save stuff for a Saturday morning and take it in stages...

Wouldn't let it bother you, but you are right to be annoyed.

Our Village council did something recently where old appliances and electrical kit was to be put out for collection by a local firm with the scrap proceeds going to the parish council.

The collection time was 10am, at 745am the village was crawling with....Erm, how do I say this in a PC way...... Battered transit vans driven by Irish sounding guys. Barely the odd printer left when the official collection happened. Oh and surprise surprise a couple of burglaries.

Seems to be the issue with any of this sort of "charitable" collection, you almost need to ensure you hand it over yourself. I guess to some extent we should give these people grabbing our discarded stuff some credit for being enterprising.

yep I know someone who did this. I hate them. took stuff and sold it on telling everyone it was a business. Thought it was there god given right to do it. makes me sick thinking of them.

Another point to consider is if anyone in your household is a tax payer, your chosen charity can claim gift aid on the donated clothes. The shop would have to be open for that though, my local hospice swipes a card when I donate anything.

My charity shop closes at 4.30pm. I make sure I'm there before then if I have a car load for them.

You can't dump stuff in a doorway then complain because someone helps themselves.

If I were you I'd be having a nosey on Ebay to see if any of your things pop up.

"why would it be worse than going to landfill??"

Mainly the environmental costs of transporting it around. It's generally better environmentally to make things reasonably locally than to ship them across the world. I don't think there are hard and fast rules though and generally the whole thing is incredibly difficult to work out.