I need a rant and working away from home I can't potter round to a friends to do so!
DP is most of the time lovely, supportive interested in my high powered but otherwise incredibly boring job (noone has any genuine interest in what i do seriously it's impossible to but he'll listen to my rants about it), i hardly ever cook my own evening meal or breakfast, supportive of my hobbies and niche interests, very good with my incredibly difficult mother and 'chaotic' sister, does more than his fair share of the housework, pops up with little thoughtful things, even if it's just something he's seen that he thinks i'll find funny, or the name of a song on a radio he heard that he thinks ill like.
BUT get his bloody mates involved and he won't say no to them for fear of looking 'settled' like bloody 18 year olds do!! When the main protagonists are married and one has their first child on the way and they frequently will turn down stuff to spend time with their wives.
This weekend took the PISS. I've got a flight tomorrow as working away for 11 days, i had a train to airport hotel at 5 today. Thought all things considered it would be nice to spend a weekend together, we've both had a few nights away here nights away there for work, he agreed, we discussed a few things we could do, I made sure my dairy was free told a friend who asked if i was around I'd not be able to see her for example and she understood all good.
Anyway Saturday he suggests we all go down to the pub as his friends are there, i like them that's fine, go to pub. He invites 5 of his friends round to watch eurovision... chippy tea few wines and beers, they finally leave at midnight.
Next day he's a bit quiet, announces at 12:50 that he's going to go and play fucking cricket and has to leave in 10 mins time and he HAS to play cause the team are short. You do not play for england. You play for the village side. You do NOT have to play. I make it clear that i'm not happy with this. I get a phone call when there saying we are apparently going to someones house for a bbq... could i go and get some food for it seeing as i'm just sitting at home with nothing to do because i've cancelled all plans. Anyway go and get food dump it outside the changing room entrance and piss off cause i'm just not happy. Go round to my friend who lives local to DPs friend for a moan. Go to BBQ and he's very very apologetic, promising me we can do XYZ, we'll go out for lunch tomorrow blah blah blah. Anyway i probably made a bit too strong a point of being poisonous company, hardly spoke to anyone there (all blokes tbf), just scrolled through stuff on my phone. And when they started talking about going i was just a bit like "ok bye" and went and stood by the car for 10 mins.
This morning looking forwards to having a day when i finally get to actually spend some of my weekend not with his bloody meathead friends. Get up late, make a cooked breakfast together. Then at half 11 his best mate comes round with loads of beer/snacks to watch cricket, and this is NOT spontaneous, meathead friend is not capable of spontaneity. They settle down to watch it, promise we'll go and do something after cricket has finished... which will be interesting as cricket finishes after I'll be in my bloody airport hotel. Anyway train at 5 and i leave at 12:30 instead cause i've had enough. Get a text telling me who's won and thats it until obviously meathead has left. then i get loads of grovvelly stuff through, sorry but he really wanted to play cricket, sorry but meathead was really keen to watch it.
I've basically said do what you want but don't expect me to clear my diary for him again. Which he's said, oh we can go do this this and this once you're back. I then replied will meathead (not actually name of best friend but may as well be, not convinced isn't a neanderthal) be invited and no reply as yet.
He is nearly 30 and doesn't want to be teased by his friends for spending time with his other half... who happens to have to go to the states for 11 days.
I know i need to be a grown up and talk about this but i am so bloody cross and will totally lose my cool if i ring.
If it was a one off that's fine, but we went on holiday together and jesus, a friend (not meathead, one i can actually tolerate in all fairness) said during a conversation that he's always wanted to go where we were going, and he invited him along, and I ended up having to put my foot down saying that he was NOT coming on OUR holiday and not-meathead was actually very apologetic saying he'd never dared have agreed if he'd known it was a 'just us' thing.
HOW can impressing your friends come before everything else.
not even an AIBU just a full on rant I'm just so so upset.