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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Re The Daily Mail and Benjamin

23 replies

Aermingers · 25/05/2015 03:50

AIBU to think all parties in adoption (whether here or abroad) should be entitled to anonimity? Has anybody seen the reporting on this? It's absolutely horrific. A mother has said that she can't cope with her baby and given him up. I have adoption in my immediate family, it's worked well. I think this mother has done the right thing. She has admitted she can't cope and has given her baby up so he can have a better life.

The Mail is printing her name and picture and pictures of the baby. AIBU to think they shouldn't be doing this? Surely the mother has done the right thing in saying she couldn't cope and looking for a good home for her son? I don't understand why she is being vilified for doing something which is ultimately for the good of her son.

OP posts:

Royalsighness · 25/05/2015 06:44

The Daily Mail are arseholes. When I saw this I wondered where on earth they found out about it? Someone somewhere has breeched confidentiality as nobody should have been speaking to the media about that baby or letting him be photographed. It's disgusting.

Icimoi · 25/05/2015 08:18

Unfortunately it presses lots of buttons for the Mail's readership - eeeevil forrins, immigration, feckless young things. So in their minds everyone concerned is a legitimate target. They really are nauseating.

Mrsstarlord · 25/05/2015 08:54

Haven't read it but the daily mail have always been arseholes about adoption stories so I'm not surprised.

bumbleymummy · 25/05/2015 09:03

That's not the mother he is pictured with.

They imply that he was only just put up for adoption now - at 6 months when he's actually been in the care of SS since he was born. He just can't be adopted out here because he's not a UK citizen.

owlborn · 25/05/2015 09:14

That is a horrific article even by DM standards. The poor mother, who undoubtedly already has enough to deal with in these circumstances and it's totally wrong that the baby be photographed in this way.

I have adoption in my family too. This kind of treatment of it makes me sick.

MissMooMoo · 25/05/2015 09:19

bubble there is a picture of the mum without the child crying

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 25/05/2015 09:22

Yes it's grim. Photos of the baby in the social worker's arms on his way to the plane. How did they get those pictures? Now apparently the grandfather is saying he wants to care for him as if this has never been considered. He will have been assessed undoubtedly already .

bumbleymummy · 25/05/2015 09:23

Where MissMoo? I just see photos of the baby at the airport with social workers and he's been in care of SS here.

Newbrummie · 25/05/2015 09:28

She's decided she wants him back now do the mother has now been photographed too.
Ffs this has been handled very badly by the authorities

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 25/05/2015 09:38

Why do you say that newbrummie? What evidence is there that they have handled it badly?

MissMooMoo · 25/05/2015 09:42

bubble,
on the most recent DM article. They have a picture of the mother with her full name and age, a photo of the mother's parents and a photo of the block of flats in Slovakia where they apparently live.

bumbleymummy · 25/05/2015 09:46

Sorry, haven't seen that one. Very sad if that's the case.

Original poster

Aermingers · 25/05/2015 12:29

Yep. They have printed all the details. It doesn't sound like the Grandparents have been assessed. They didn't know about the baby until the Mail told them. The daughter kept it secret. And she must have had her reasons for doing that, perhaps she was frightened she would bring shame on her family. It sounds like they are being supportive now though. I hope it works out well for all of them.

But I don't think there should be any shame or stigma attached to giving your baby up. Surely if you can't cope the best and most responsible thing to do is find a better home for your baby?

I have a close relative who is adopted, the birth family are very involved with us and I consider them family too. They did what, at the time, was the best thing for my relative. I hate the inference that this woman's actions are cold and uncaring, when actually she's probably trying to do the best she can for her little boy.

OP posts:

fairgame · 25/05/2015 12:34

It's really unfair on the mother and the baby. I read this mornings article online and they've even gone and interviewed the mothers friends. Her family didn't know anything about until approached by the papers according to the article last week. This story is so so personal and I don't consider it in the public interest to report it. I don't know how they are getting away with it.

Tryharder · 25/05/2015 13:36

I'm glad someone has started a thread about this.

This young girl had a baby she didn't want, handed him over to the authorities and all being well the baby will be adopted by a nice family who really want him. Win-win.

Would the Daily mail prefer that the girl keep a baby she didn't want or feel able to look after? Give up work, get a council house and claim benefits?

The poor girl couldn't win really.

What horrible, irresponsible reporting. I suspect the girl is now under a great deal of pressure to say she wants the baby back when this might not be in the child's best interests at all.

The Daily Mail are CUNTS.

Bragadocia · 25/05/2015 13:45

This was awful, and I was very surprised to see it as the top story on DM online one day last week.

I am intrigued as to how on earth a 'story' like this reaches the DM's ears though? Is it through having a network of local reporters in every court in the country or something (if indeed issues like this are arranged in any way in a court that has public access - I'm shamefully ignorant about this).

Newbrummie · 25/05/2015 14:08

I thought the family courts were like fort knots for secrecy ?
This will have been leaked by somebody who deserves shooting or sacking

Newbrummie · 25/05/2015 14:10

I have a friend who's a sports journalist and only interested in reporting sports news but the gossip - true and untrue - he is fed by so called friends, doctors, physio's, people in positions of trust would make your hair curl. They think they'll be paid for it, they never are.

LotusLight · 25/05/2015 14:12

If relatives want the child that should always trump adoption.

mkz10 · 25/05/2015 14:19

It is a horrendous piece of reporting and a real invasion of privacy, don't know how they can get away with it.

The photo of the little boy really tore at my heart though, he looked so confused in those photos, he is such a handsome little boy.

Original poster

Aermingers · 25/05/2015 15:02

Well no, relatives shouldn't always trump adoption. If the relatives can't offer a good home adoption is better.

This mother decided that adoption was the best thing for her son. The DM is implying that she dumped her baby to go out partying. I have no idea whether that's true or not. But surely if you can't give a child the life it needs it's better to find someone who can give them that life?

OP posts:

Original poster

Aermingers · 25/05/2015 15:05

mkz, I agree. It's a horrific invasion of privacy, not on the public interest and cruel. DM is always complaining that the family courts are not open enough. But this shows exactly why.

OP posts:

RachieS1986 · 25/05/2015 17:08

Is this the same one where the headline read that she came to the UK looking to party and was giving the baby up because he was holding her back?

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