To think most men look at figure first?

[welliesinthespring]

I have been trying to meet somebody, and haven't been very at all successful.

Racking my brains trying to think of why and I have to admit all the women I know who get snatched up have lovely figures - slim and toned and long legs.

AIBU? Or is there something in this?

I just don't think anyone would find me sexy

Well there's your main problem, a happy smile and some self confidence goes a long way.

Beleive me - I'm on match and Pof (I think Match is better but you need to pay to make that work) on a good day I get a couple of emails and 10 winks (on a bad day nothing).

A pleasant smile and a slightly funny profile seem to work perfectly well - and I'm a size 22/24.

Well did you do the plunging cleavage etc?

Try the wellies and spade or be on a windy hillside in walking boots and woolly hat.
I also took a photo of myself next to my son's old style mini as I'm sure men like cars. Perhaps that's what did it!

I only don't think anyone would find me sexy because no one ever has! I think I have a nice smile but perhaps not.

Honestly men will like different figures of course some figures will attract more men though. From what I have seen I don't think men are won over on personality alone, they will need to find the woman physically attractive as well, however what is considered attractive will differ from man to man.

Not sure. Closed it down now :)

Like usually goes for like. Apart from the age thing, men of 50, if they look after themselves can usually get at 40 year old. Not so the other way round.

I am what i would class as very average.... nothing special about me at all. However i get asked out a lot by the guys i meet through work.... i work at a tube station.
I am very friendly, i talk, laugh and smile a lot too.... pretty much like TinklyLittleLaugh daughter i guess.
I have been asked out by really good looking, model type guys as well as the average kinda guy.
However having said that, because i smile, laugh & talk a lot i also attracts the wrong attention too..... a lot of men mistake me smiling & being polite (good morning, how are you kinda thing) as me fancying them
I have been asked out by numerous married guys, guys who are engaged as well as single guys..... its actually shocking how many guys are willing to cheat.

Personally i like a man who has some meat on him..... the guy i'm currently seeing looks like James Corden and has his body type too but i think he's gorgeous..... but my friends think he's short & tubby.... but thats the look that i like.
He has a great personality which is really important.
Some women love the sporty, David Beckham body type guys.... but they do nothing for me.
Everyone has their own view on whats attractive or what attracts them to someone.
I think i come across as down to earth and thats probably why i get so much attention.

I think your negativity rather than anything physical is what's putting guys off. I find looks do count a little but it's not really about the overall package, it's more the eyes or the smile or they're a little bit cheeky. I find guys are much the same though - look them in the eye, a little bit of chat, smile etc. all makes a massive difference - let's be honest no one wants to go out with someone who looks a bit sour faced - which I'm not saying you are btw...

I don't know. I'm a size 16 and have never really had trouble finding men.
I guess it's the kind of men though... I genuinely go for personality and connection over all else.

I'm also reasonable confident.

Just asked my OH what first attracted me to him....his romantic answer was boobs

I think if most men had to chose between..

A.....A plain woman with a hot figure

Or

B....A stunningly beautiful woman who's plus size

They would choose woman A.

formerbabe

As a bloke, I totally disagree.

OP, it's confidence, confidence, confidence imo. A good figure is neither here nor there. You have got to fake it until make it.

Forgot to say though, confidence is a major thing. I have been fat and thin and have never struggled to get a boyfriend. Do your hair, put on some make up and nice clothes...It makes all the difference.

I just don't think anyone would find me sexy

Nobody's going to find you sexy if you spend all your time projecting "I am not sexy" through your words and looks and posture and actions.

Bit of a catch-2 really.

formerbabe

but you assume that all men have the same standards of "hot body" - I can promise you there are plenty of men who find plump women very hot. Of course being confident and happy and well scrubbed up helps too. I can assure you that for every 5 men who would go for the size 12 there is one who would choose the size 20 even if they had equivalent looks. And from experience, one of the 5 only goes for the thinner one because thats what society expects and he wants the trophy girlfriend and doesn't want to explain to his mates why he chose the fat bird!

Formerbabe- What would you say was a hot body?

I know two women in separate friendship groups.

One is at least a size 26...she is very confident, bubbly and happily married.

The other is a similar size but has much less confidence..she is single.

I agree Trills. Yes it's very clique to say it but, "If you don't like and sell yourself not a damn soul on this planet is going to.
I bet you're gorgeous op. I hated people undermining themselves.
And about confidence, well RE Rag's post you've heArd thAt from the horses mouth.

A hot body in my opinion is not necessarily skinny...but i think well proportioned, with a nice butt and boobs..

Hate not hated.

in my opinion

Weel then obviously if you were/are a man thats what you'd go for. Do you find it impossible to understand that some men like chubby women, some like androgynous women, some like athletic women, some like an hour glass...

Kewcumber...I agree with you. I wasn't saying no men find larger women attractive.
Fwiw I have been every size from an 8-18! I always had attention from men at every size. I also think different cultures view weight and size differently.

My friend who has the most male attention is a size 16/18, wears jeans, converse and hoodies, never wears make up and has bushy eyebrows.

What she has in spades is a huge smile, shiny hair, a wicked sense of humour and a dirty laugh. She's everyone's friend and is adored by all who meet her. She literally has men facebooking or texting her weekly asking her out. It's all about her confidence.