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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think drinking excessively at special occasions is just selfish?

122 replies

KorsILoveMichael · 24/05/2015 11:26

I was at a wedding yesterday and one woman drank about 3 bottles of wine and got drunk. Became very rude and aggressive and just embarrassed herself. This woman was in her late 30s so you'd think by now she'd know how much she could drink without getting wasted.

I was also drinking but I paced myself as I knew it would be a long day and I wouldn't want to get the point where I was so drunk I was ruining what is suppose to be a happy day.

I think when you're out in town having drinks its different. But I really think drinking excessively (way over your own limit) at a special occasion (weddings, christenings etc) is just really grim and selfish behaviour.

OP posts:
roundtable · 24/05/2015 13:09

Yabu op, you should have offered her a cup of tea and a hug. Wink

On a serious note, I think at weddings some people find it difficult to pace themselves because of the amount of time hanging around doing nothing. Mix that in with liking the taste of what you're drinking=very pissed person by the end of the night.

I got utterly pissed the first wedding I went to after ds1 was born, I was mortified the day when we met for brunch. Didn't realise my tolerance for wine was as low mixed with the excitement of being out for the day. Never again.

ImperialBlether · 24/05/2015 13:09

There is nothing in the OP or further posts to suggest the OP woke up in anything other than a foul mood, Iliveinalighthouse!

EmeraldThief · 24/05/2015 13:15

Yes, Weddings are quite ridiculous now. Why is there such a long gap between the ceremony and the reception meal these days? Drinking on an empty stomach is a recipe for disaster, Im pretty good at pacing myself but having even one glass of champagne without lining my stomach beforehand goes too my head!

redredwine4 · 24/05/2015 13:22

OP- it sounds like the bride and groom put problem people at the same table. You sound like you'd have been great company.

As Winston Churchill once said ' in the morning I'll be sober....'

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 24/05/2015 16:06

lots of people use an occasion as a reason to let their hair down and have more to drink than they usually would, its part of the fun of the occasion for them, as it's not a regular thing then often there are some who end up worse for wear, on the other hand it's an easy excuse for someone with a drink problem to excuse the fact they are overdoing it as in society it is a legitimate reason to be pissed at a wedding or birthday bash etc. tis only a problem for anyone, other than the drunken person, if their behaviour impacts on everyone else i:e starting a fight,throwing up, falling over and getting hurt,other than that they just look a bit silly and can be ignored, laughed at indulged depending on the audience.

AnyFucker · 24/05/2015 19:15

"it's always the same people"

yep, that'll be the ones with the drink problem

I see op has shown her arse anyway. She sounds highly unpleasant and maybe this woman had to get pissed to get through a whole day looking at her snotty face Grin

fearandloathinginambridge · 24/05/2015 19:42

I have recently quit drinking because I have a drink problem. Nobody but the drinker can decide if they have a problem any third party declaring "she's not an alcoholic because of x y z" is wrong, wrong wrong.

Whilst I have sympathy for anybody who has a problem with booze, I also have sympathy for those who have to deal with the bullshit us drinkers can cause.

LaLyra · 24/05/2015 20:01

I think it depends if it was deliberate or not. DH's younger cousin got really drunk, really quick at our wedding and ended up making herself look really quite silly. However, she simply hadn't realised that the wine she was drinking was stronger than the cheap booze she was used to sharing with her mates at the weekend. She was mortified and she's never done it again.

My cousin's boyfriend, on the other hand, is a selfish prat. He knows that beyond a certain point he becomes an obnoxious knob, he knows that he'll pick a row with someone (often cousin) and he knows that he'll end up embarassing cousin in front of her family/friends. He will always promise not to drink or just have a couple, but 8/10 times he'll just drink anyway. Not because he has a drink problem, but because (in his words) he never remembers it anyway so why bother not. He doesn't have a drink problem, he has a selfish arsehole problem.

ImperialBlether · 24/05/2015 20:13

You can imagine the guest hearing who she was having to sit next to and yelling, "Who? Are you kidding? Listen, the only way I can cope with that is if I'm pissed. Mum! If I make a tosser signal at you, run and get me another bottle of wine, will you? I don't care if I don't remember it - I don't want to remember sitting next to her!"

namechangewontchange · 24/05/2015 20:48

AF stop being a bully. First you de-rail the thread, then you put the OP down. OP does not want to get into if the woman has a drink problem or not. She isn't her saviour so stop pressing on love.

crustsaway · 24/05/2015 20:53

I think the odd piss head at a do makes my night Grin

ImperialBlether · 24/05/2015 20:55

She's not being a bully. AF suggested that the woman had a drink problem - I think for most people on here, if not in the world, a woman who drinks three bottles of wine has a drink problem. The OP was rude to everyone and that's what caused the problem on here, not AF.

namechangewontchange · 24/05/2015 20:58

Impreial- you were also quick to join in. Look at your post at 20:13. Is there any need-really??

ImperialBlether · 24/05/2015 21:14

She said we were thick and I was affronted, namechanger.

namechangewontchange · 24/05/2015 21:28

Imperial- look at what you posted back at 12:35 trying to push the OP off Mumsnet. So you have been upset for over 8 hours about it. Please grow up.
OP- YANBU

crustsaway · 24/05/2015 21:29

The OP implied that everyone should "behave" themselves just as she does. This to me smacks of what I call a flatliner, everything has to be just so or it's met with pursed lips and disdain.

Get over yourself is my reply.

liquidstatebacktowork · 24/05/2015 21:31

YANBU

Its rude and not much fun for everyone. My bridesmaid got bladdered at my wedding and verbally abused my sister and me. We haven't spoken since. She always drank too much and it wasn't appropriate to be off her face at 7pm at any wedding.

DancingDinosaur · 24/05/2015 21:31

Its fine to do it if you're not going to get rude / pick fights with people / pass out on the floor / need other people to look after you.

crustsaway · 24/05/2015 21:36

I like a bit of controversy myself. Your bridesmaid was probably mortified the next day. If it was a friend of mine I'd call her and play it down for her sake immediately after but speak to her frankly about the situation at a later date. That's what kind friends to for each other.

ImperialBlether · 24/05/2015 21:38

namechange, I can assure you I haven't been even thinking about this thread, never mind being upset about it, for hours.

If you re-read it, you'll find the OP said:

What a waste of time to start a post if people are too thick to understand it.

And I replied:

Maybe you need to reconsider whether MN is the place for you, OP, given your superior intelligence.

I don't think that was out of order at all.

FlaviaAlbia · 24/05/2015 21:40

I'm always amazed at how blithely people accept really heavy drinking as normal and assume there's no 'drinking problem' as that to them means destitution and rock bottom. There's usually a long way to go before you hit rock bottom and it has to start somewhere.

BastardGoDarkly · 24/05/2015 21:41

I got pissed at my own wedding, is that allowed? Grin most people were pissed by the end of the night, it's a wedding. Only one woman was a PITA, and yeah, she was annoying, but she's a good friend, so I called her the next day just to let her know there was no harm done.

crustsaway · 24/05/2015 21:41

People that do all the above dont set out to do that! a bit of kindness, laughing it off is called for, pursing your lips and saying they are of a lowly species is exactly what Imperial is talking about.

The OP came across like that in her opening and guess what, her poo smells like the rest of ours.

BastardGoDarkly · 24/05/2015 21:42

I don't think that was harsh either Imperial quite measured considering.

ilovesooty · 24/05/2015 21:43

I think people are pretty much agreed that getting pissed enough to cause disturbances at events you've been invited to is pretty inconsiderate.
I'm in agreement however with those who have found the OP unpleasant on this thread and I certainly don't think AnyFucker has been a bully.