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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think drinking excessively at special occasions is just selfish?

122 replies

KorsILoveMichael · 24/05/2015 11:26

I was at a wedding yesterday and one woman drank about 3 bottles of wine and got drunk. Became very rude and aggressive and just embarrassed herself. This woman was in her late 30s so you'd think by now she'd know how much she could drink without getting wasted.

I was also drinking but I paced myself as I knew it would be a long day and I wouldn't want to get the point where I was so drunk I was ruining what is suppose to be a happy day.

I think when you're out in town having drinks its different. But I really think drinking excessively (way over your own limit) at a special occasion (weddings, christenings etc) is just really grim and selfish behaviour.

OP posts:
EmeraldThief · 24/05/2015 12:31

YANBU, it's really disrespectful to get horribly drunk and make a scene at someone else's party/gathering. My parents hosted a NYE party a few years ago and one woman got really pissed and started a huge row with her DH before bursting into tears. It really spoiled the whole night, and what made it worse was that she didn't even apologise for it, despite having form for it and doing it other parties/social events.

It is always the same people who do this IME as well.

Original poster
KorsILoveMichael · 24/05/2015 12:32

^ oh for god sake. Can you read?

Obviously not.

Ok please debating about a woman you know absolutely nothing about and miss the entire point of the thread.

What a waste of time to start a post if people are too thick to understand it.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 24/05/2015 12:32

I would have thought that it's fairly obvious that someone passing out at a christening has a drink problem.

I do agree with you, actually, about the inappropriate behaviour of getting shit faced. Sometimes though it does happen accidentally!

But on the whole, if I saw someone get that drunk in front of their dc I would think they had a problem with alcohol, even if that problem is that they don't know when to stop drinking it.

madreloco · 24/05/2015 12:33

Its the being rude and aggressive bit thats the problem. Lots of people can drink a lot without being either of those things, and lots of people can be both without touching a drop.
Why blame it on the drink instead of on the person and their behavious?

Original poster
KorsILoveMichael · 24/05/2015 12:33

And that was not aimed at you Emerald who is actually smart enough to understand what the aibu was about.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 24/05/2015 12:34

Judging from your posts, OP, you don't have to be drunk to be rude and aggressive...or have you imbibed this morning?

ImperialBlether · 24/05/2015 12:35

Maybe you need to reconsider whether MN is the place for you, OP, given your superior intelligence.

ilovesooty · 24/05/2015 12:37

I don't think your response to people's replies is exactly pleasant quite frankly. Referring to people as thick because they're exploring other possible aspects if the situation is pretty abusive.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 24/05/2015 12:38

I'm kind of feeling sorry for the drunk woman now. Were you this rude and aggressive to her, so she was rude and aggressice back OP?

expatinscotland · 24/05/2015 12:39

3 bottles?! Holy cow!

YANBU.

madreloco · 24/05/2015 12:39

But you know nothing about this woman either, so really we know just as much as you do!
You have decided to judge her on no info, and are complaining about people here doing the same thing and having different opinions.

Littleen · 24/05/2015 12:41

Never been to a christening with alcohol! Anyway, you went to a wedding so different story. I think yanbu, it's just a bit stupid all in all. If this woman have a drinking problem, you would think those close to her would know (since she obviously doesn't care about people seeing her drunk), and would have taken some precautions to stop this situation from happening.

Trills · 24/05/2015 12:43

It sounds like all you wanted was for everyone to say 'yes, people who get pissed at special occasions are dreadful'

Is that what you man by "people who understand what this thread is about"?

It sounds as if you don't understand how conversations work.

You raise a subject, people will talk about it.

They might not always agree with you.

They might agree with you but additionally talk about other apsects of the situation.

StickEm · 24/05/2015 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 24/05/2015 12:44

Your post of 11.52 was also pretty unpleasant with its oblique reference to (presumably) SN.

I'm wondering now why you felt it necessary to name change specifically for this thread.

girliefriend · 24/05/2015 12:48

Op YANBU I hate this and it is one of the reasons why I don't drink any more. My friends dh is like this, she went to a wedding with him once where he drunk a ridiculous amount and spent most of the afternoon/ evening passed out in the hotel room. My friend was left on her own at a wedding where she didn't really know anyone else, he was so hungover the next morning he couldn't even make it down for breakfast.

HearTheThunderRoar · 24/05/2015 12:50

Yanbu. There's a time and a place. Get bladdered in your home or parties by all means but you shouldn't have to inflict it on other.

Last Christmas, my brother's SIL (mid 50s) got totally pissed by about 1pm (probably about 3 bottles), she was singing and dancing etc and being hard work by asking everyone to fetch her stuff like more wine, including my 15yo DD because she was that pissed she couldn't get it herself. She then spilt boiling coffee all over herself. Repeat on Boxing day. So embarrassing.

Her excuse? Apparently the wine is so good in NZ that she can't help getting pissed (she's Canadian).

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 24/05/2015 12:52

"There is always at least one person who gets bladders at weddings."

YY

It's a set of events which often leads to extreme pissed-ness, and there are lots of reasons for that.

I'm kind of surprised that someone is surprised that someone got really pissed at a wedding. I mean sure it's not great and when people get aggressive etc it's shit but it always happens IME.

Happybodybunny12 · 24/05/2015 12:56

It sounds like a wedding from hell what with the drunk, aggressive, superior rude and judgy guests.

imwithspud · 24/05/2015 12:57

YANBU, it is selfish and embarrassing. I am guilty of doing it on two different occasions when I was younger, both weddings and both times I had to be 'looked after' and put to bed. I felt a bit embarrassed the next day for making such a show of myself but still didn't really understand what a twit I was being, all because I wanted to get drunk. I really hope I didn't ruin anyone's special day. Now a few years down the line I'd never dream of getting wasted like that at a special occasion. I don't think the way I acted was down to a drink problem, I think I was just young and stupid. I'm glad now even though I'm still fairly young I can see the error of my ways, I'd hate to be 'that' person at any future occasions.

I do agree with the others though that behaviour like that can be down to a drink problem, not always but it's actually quite common.

chipsandpeas · 24/05/2015 12:59

Sometimes they just love having an excuse to get wasted.

thats a drinking problem

Feminine · 24/05/2015 12:59

On one side of my family they are heavy drinkers.
Everyday they drink something and then at weekends, even more!
The only benefit to this, is at family occasions they just peacefully stew.
I think there is more to it, than just trying to be annoying.
It isn't really natural to want to obliterate yourself at a 'do'
I don't really know if you are being unreasonable. I don't know the back story.

southeastdweller · 24/05/2015 12:59

YADNBU. It really is horrible behaviour and usually much more common when the drinks at the occasion are free.

imwithspud · 24/05/2015 13:03

Just caught up, YABU for calling people thick for making a perfectly acceptable assumption that this woman's behaviour may be down to an alcohol problem. No ones saying it to justify behaviour like that, just that It's perfectly feasible.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 24/05/2015 13:05

Ynbu. It is selfish behaviour. I mean yes she is over 18, so can drink as much as she likes, but it's when it spoils it for others that!s unfair.
However it'll be her wakes up or will have woken up thinking "Shit, What did I do. What did I say. Did I upset/offend anyone. At least you've woke up with a clear head and memories from which hopefully on the while was a good day