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Original poster

Mums of two - do you regret your decision to stick at two?

96 replies

GlitteringJasper · 23/05/2015 18:29

Wondering about this.

I'm especially interested in mums who have passed the baby stage and have got their 'life' back as such!

I've a ds and a dd, youngest is 6 months, I can see pros and cons for sticking at two and having another!

A big part of me wonders if I just want the baby stage again!

Are you happy with 2?

OP posts:
comingintomyown · 23/05/2015 19:17

I'm divorced with 2 16 and 18 years old

Thank merry fuck I took no notice of XHs " I want 5 kids" bullshit

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 23/05/2015 19:18

We always planned two, they're 9 and 11 now and I'm 48, so definitely won't be any more, never regretted stopping at 2, not for a single moment.

Athenaviolet · 23/05/2015 19:20

We waited a long time after dc2 to have dc3. I wouldn't have wanted couldn't have coped with 3 little ones at once.

And now my DC 1&2 are older I realise how expensive older DCs are! Babies are so cheap.

chutneypig · 23/05/2015 19:23

I'm very happy with two. From the moment I found out I was having twins I was certain I'd not want any more. They're eight now, not wavered at all.

TiggieBoo · 23/05/2015 19:27

Very happy with two. They are both school age now and the idea of dealing with pregnancy, a baby, putting my career on hold yet again, spending a stupid amount on childcare frankly fills me with dread. Fingers crossed, no more pram pushing again for me, unless as a grandma.

123Jump · 23/05/2015 19:33

My eldest two were 6 and 8 when we had DC3. It has been the most relaxed and enjoyable time for me. The eldest are in school, can look after themselves and are able to entertain DC3 so I don't have to do it 24/7,and I knew what I was doing and enjoyed every minute.
I'm 40, youngest is 3 and DH really wants one more...just not sure if I would be asking for trouble with my age.

Sparklingbrook · 23/05/2015 19:36

Now as the parent of two teenage boys, stopping at 2 was the best thing ever.

DS1 is doing his GCSEs. In 3 years time DS2 will do the same. The thought of any more doing it would be Sad. What with the hobbies and the socialising and having friends round-two is plenty.

AChickenCalledKorma · 23/05/2015 19:40

Totally happy with two. But then, my very first thought when DD2 was born was "Thank goodness I never need to do that again" Smile So I think two children was always the way we were heading. I have never felt remotely broody and am perfectly happy that we are well past the baby stage!

Two = one child per hand when they are small. And one child per parent when they need some one-to-one time (or both have school concerts on the same night in different locations!)

I'm also realising now that we are fortunate not to have to multiply everything by three or four (or more) when the kids want to go on trips/camps/try new activities. They get really expensive as they grow Shock

MrsBartlet · 23/05/2015 19:41

Very pleased to have stopped at 2. Always thought we would have 3 (dh is one of 3 and I am one of 5) but by the time my youngest started pre-school I started to see how I could get my life back more quickly and we just couldn't have gone back to the baby stage. Now the eldest is about to go to university and I am very glad we stopped at 2! They really do get much more expensive as they get older.

nooka · 23/05/2015 19:44

Zero regrets from me, it was a decision we made very early on (pretty much after dd was born) and I've never had any second thoughts (dc are 14 and 16). Two has worked really well for us.

When they were small it was great to have one each, or at least one hand for each of them and as they have got older it's been handy to be able to have a parent each for activities etc (we don't do a huge amount but they have a bit of a tendency to be at the same time).

306235388 · 23/05/2015 19:46

I'm mainly pleased although am having a wobble now by youngest is almost school age. I don't think I'll ever rule another out until it isn't physically possible! I'm 34, Dc are 8.5 and nearly 5

Bluetrews25 · 23/05/2015 19:47

Never ever regretted stopping at 2. Never even thought of having more.
So easy to cut the cake or pie or whatever it is for dinner into four pieces, so hard to cut into five....

ProfYaffle · 23/05/2015 19:48

Mine are 11 and 8 now, I'm very happy with 2. However we always knew we wanted 2, planned for 2 and got 2 so I never hankered after more or wondered if we should have another or anything like that.

foreverton · 23/05/2015 19:49

Mum of 2 here, ds, 12 and dd, 4. Dp got "snipped" after dd, were now 37 and 38.

I'm happy with 2, me and dp are both the eldest of 3.

My brother and his wife had 2 dd's, he was desperate for a boy so decided to try for a third, ended up with twin boys:)

Dp has recently admitted he is broody, lots of friends having babies. I'm not at all, they're hard work.
The hard thing is trying to find things to do to suit both age groups!

DancingDinosaur · 23/05/2015 19:50

I secretly hanker after the 3rd child. I've got my life back now and am too old anyway. Dh didn't want a 3rd though, so we stuck with 2. Although I'm sure it would have been much harder with another, and less money / sanity etc, but yeah I do still wonder what if .....
I might foster one day though when the kids are older, so not all is lost Smile

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 23/05/2015 19:51

My youngest is 18 months and I regularly daydream a third child although I veer between REALLY broody or being happy with two. Dh wants to stick at two (for very sound reasons) so ultimately I think two it'll stay. I think that I'm just sad at the thought of no more babies for me Sad (loved being pregnant etc).

kavv0809 · 23/05/2015 19:58

Still on the fence. I've posted before about this. I remember clearly a conversation with DH when I was really ill in pregnancy with DD2, where I told him if I ever mentioned any more babies he was to remind me how ill I was and how I was never doing it again. At 41 weeks pregnant I laughed in the face of a friend who was pondering a third, so sure was I that I was done.

Dd2 was born, she is 15 months now and I've contemplated a third every day since. I can't understand the change of heart. Both DC are fab together they are so close and my heart swells at the thought of another.

It is definitely a heart/head thing though. I did a for and against list. Reams of benefits for staying as we are. Benefits if everything went well for a third but also so many risks and variables.

We have three chances left (assisted conception) and I'm romantically viewing it that we should use those three chances and let fate decide. DH is far more pragmatic and not keen.

Hope you reach a decision OP, what have your thoughts been?

CalleighDoodle · 23/05/2015 20:02

It is mainly a financial decisiok for me. New house and car would be needed. My youngest is three and soon, soon we will be able to have a night out! I see people post on fb out in a restaurant with their husband or worse still in a hotel alone with him and i get very bitter...

Sparklingbrook · 23/05/2015 20:03

Three small children is one thing, three teenagers quite another.

willnotbetamed · 23/05/2015 20:04

We were totally on the fence for the best part of two years...in the end decided to go for DC3. DCs are now 7 and 5 and I am 29 weeks with DC3 as I type. I am nervous about throwing the family out of kilter and about the expense, but the DCs are both really excited about their new sibling, and in retrospect those exhausting baby years do seem quite short... Wish me luck!

treaclesoda · 23/05/2015 20:04

No, I've not regretted it. I feel finished.

I do love babies and get the odd twinge of 'ah, I'll never be mum to a newborn again, sob' feeling, but it's a fleeting thought, not an all consuming one.

We had quite a big age gap between our two and I never felt 'done' in that time, so I'm fairly certain that I won't change my mind.

knackered69 · 23/05/2015 20:08

Mine are 17 &12 and I was sterilised after ds2- I would lay down my life for them - they are happy ,healthy, brilliant children - but I had severe pnd after ds2 and was admitted to a M&B unit ,, and although I made a complete recovery I knew my limits and so was sterilised.X

seaoflove · 23/05/2015 20:21

DC2 was born last week and I am DONE. Two children was always the plan. I am one of two, DH is one of two, we have a three bedroom house, and have neither the money or the time to devote to any more children.

But more importantly, two pregnancies has wrecked my body and I have no desire to be pregnant again, ever Grin

NinkyNonkers · 23/05/2015 20:28

I have spent a long time debating this. Mine are nearly 5 and 3. We always thought we wanted a big family, but now I think we are settled. Dh doesn't want another, a little part of me does...to snuggle a newborn, carry them, get to know them etc. But at the same time, I like the fact we are settling now. The kids play independently, we have a room each, we are balanced, the youngest is nearly out of nappies, we are getting more sleep. It feels sustainable and right.

If another one appeared they would be as loved as the others and we would be very happy, but I don't want one

cheminotte · 23/05/2015 20:37

Happy with 2 here. I once thought I'd have 4 but I had Pnd after 1st and nearly didn't have no 2. No way would DP agree to no 3 either. Two is hard work as it is.

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