Cheer up it might never happen

[ChuffinAda]

Aibu to absolutely detest this phrase? How do they know it hasn't already happened?

They don't. I tell them it already has.

It's hideously rude and there's often an air of male entitlement to it. (The same one that prompts comments like "You'd be really pretty if you smiled.")

I once snapped back at one idiot, "It already has, you witless cunt."

expat

It's an awful turn of phrase

I always say what If it already has. It's a stupid expression

I'd had a vile day, maybe Tuesday this week, and some sleazy old man said this to me at the tram stop. I didn't lamp him. Just.

Horrible, horrible thing to say to someone. And you're right pocket, often comes with that air of male entitlement too.

The afternoon after my brother died suddenly (he died the night before iyswim), I walked to meet a friend, probably looking a bit tired, upset etc. A random man caught my eye and said the phrase, I think it was accompanied by a 'smile love'. Not in a friendly voice at all, really sneery and rude.

I was young and shy and just gobsmacked as to how to respond. So just carried on walking. Have been over that exchange since many times in my head with some cutting retorts...

I was always say it already has too.
Even though I very rarely mean it.

Inane deserves inane.

Maybe the sad looking person is sad because it actually might never happen.

(whatever it is they want to happen, that is)

Daft expression.

YANBU it does my head in. People say it to me when I'm absolutely fine, just walking along with a neutral expression.

Effective responses include "you cheer up" - makes them all or if you dont mind interacting with these freaks then go "Sorry? Didnt catch that mate? " which seems to make them feel like a right dick. Though I normally just ignore completely.

I've only ever come across this sort of thing being said by males to females, so agree with the male entitlement view.

It's as if a certain type of bloke expects women to be "on display" all the time and god forbid them actually having feelings or thoughts of their own that might mean they aren't decoratively smiling.

So, when it's been said to me, I admit I've simply said "I'll cheer up when I want to".

A certain type of absolute knob says this. Are we meant to walk around grinning like the fucking Cheshire Cat?!

Now I'm older and somewhat braver, I tell them to fuck off, if I can be arsed. But when I was younger it used to make me feel horrible.

"Don't worry, I'll cheer up when you're out of the way"

"It's looking at your face that makes me feel so miserable"

I was a Goth. This used to be said to me a lot. Always by men. Why on earth would a pretty young woman want to dress for herself rather than the entitled male gaze?

I tried, "it already has" but changed that to "it just did" with a withering look.

YANBU, they have no idea. I dreaded that phrase just after my miscarriage.

pocketsaviour I've heard it used by women as much as by men.

Some bloke said that to me at my Grandad's funeral. I nearly chinned him.

YANBU it's an awful phrase.

I remember Susan Hill, in her book "Family", writing about a hospital porter saying this to her - just after her baby had died. You would think hospital employees above all others might have the sense to work out how inappropriate that would be.

You know as a woman you are supposed to walk around with an inane grin all day, lest you offend your overlords.

I'm shocked that someone hasn't posted saying "they're only making conversation/you can't say anything these days".

Yanbu, op. It's a punchworthy offence.

Someone said that to my mum as she sat in my uncle's open top car at traffic lights one, sunny September day. Little did the man who said it know that my 2 year old sister had just died on the operating table at GOS hospital. I hate that phrase too.

A hospital porter said similar to me when I was being wheeled off for d&c after a late miscarriage. Cunt.

I had it said to me when it had just happened. Unfortunately you are in such a state that you can't respond in the way they deserve.
It should never, ever be said. Absolutely nothing like 'just making conversation' - which I have used on here to people who over analyse.

YANBU. I hate this phrase. It's only ever said to women by men (usually men you don't know) in my experience. I think the poster who remarked on the sense of entitlement had it right.

It's happened to me several times (once just after my marriage ended) and I usually just stare at them stoney faced and keep walking. What I really want to say is 'oh do fuck off you utter cunt'.

If I want to walk about looking miserable then I should be allowed to do so without asinine comments from randoms. Or are women supposed to waft about looking like Stepford Wives at all times?

YANBU. I could not agree more. It is male entitlement, it is the assumption that women should be decorative and compliant at all times. I find it very invasive.