To be surprised at some of the threads that garner acrimonious responses

[chaletdays]

I've just seen another thread, about a fairly tame subject, that has prompted some really nasty replies.

There are certain topics that I know are going to attract very strong responses because they're quite emotive, but AIBU to sometimes be shocked at how some posters kick off and become really unpleasant over something fairly innocuous that you would expect to attract a handful of replies, not a bunfight?

You kind of expect it in AIBU - but it really makes me when it turns up in Arts and Crafts or something similar

AIBU has become a really horrible place where people just pile in and make the OP feel awful. It was a great idea for a thread but I think it just attracts all the vicious posters now.

One of the worst I saw years ago was when a woman posted saying AIBU to leave the washing out on the line overnight and just wash it again in the morning? (I think it had been raining.) You would have thought she wanted to slaughter babies to eat with her lunch.

I think there are some pretty angry people on AIBU who read it just to get riled up. Recently I rarely come here because I'm exhausted by the fighting and wildly one sided opinions. It's not a forum for diplomacy!

THE SKY DOWN HERE WAS GREY ALL OF YESTERDAY LUNCHTIME!!!

BASTARD!

My personal favourite was the "do you put your clothes back in the wardrobe after wearing them" thread. I had no idea such a topic could have so many opinions. And of course the "here's a link to the science" posts.

Some of them I just don't see coming OP I agree with you.
My favourites are the completely bizarre angry people. I was once posting to someone and used a phrase from the language we both speak, and this was very clear from the thread. Someone told me I'd said the equivalent of n*er. Needless to say I hadn't but that was very angry and bizarre

ImperialBlether
One of the worst I saw years ago was when a woman posted saying AIBU to leave the washing out on the line overnight and just wash it again in the morning? (I think it had been raining.)

Um, how can that be anything other than YANBU?

I guess because they're anonymous, they revel in the freedom of being able to say 'that's a fucking stupid thing to say, you're being an unreasonable twat'. Because they can't turn around and say that to their boss on a bad day. Well they could, but then it'd be a REALLY bad day.

Um, how can that be anything other than YANBU?

What the fuck? How can you fucking say that? You are so unreasonable!!!

I think the forums and AIBU in particular are an outlet for some of us.
Sometimes an Op can post something that to their mind is a light hearted musing on life and other people's perspective differ so wildly to this that it becomes an attack on their viewpoint.
Their was a post a few weeks back about someone's partner acting childishly in public, physically carrying her out of a shop, making gormless faces and other stuff that escapes me right now. Lots of posters piled in because it was initially put as a geninune concern but then morphed into something else when the replies weren't what the OP clearly anticipated.

Are you stupid? Or being deliberately offensive? Why don't you just go and educate yourself properly before starting a thread about something that you know nothing about. Perhaps look up "empathy" while you're at it.

I think the first few replies set the tone for the whole thread, tbh. A few years ago I saw a post about soft play where some poor sod was given a drubbing for being overprotective and 'a helicopter parent'. So I stared a thread asking if I was U to not helicopter and allow my toddler to play unsupervised. I got a thrashing. I laughed for hours.

TedandLola

But yes, there do seem to be quite a lot of threads that are clearly (to some) meant to be light-hearted and others take it the wrong way and appear to have a sense of humour bypass.

And a lot where people use incorrect terminology for something and the entire thread is lost in a barrage of "that is so offensive" even after the OP has explained and apologised!

AIBU is weird.

I was pleasantly surprised when I posted a thread yesterday which I could have been crucified for. In my ignorance, I'd been insensitive and offensive, and I apologised for it once it had been pointed out.

But I still received lots of supportive and helpful replies. Even the replies calling me out were stated constructively.

On the other hand, I've seen threads which seem fairly harmless turn into gunfights.

Thanks for the replies - even though you're all being unreasonable fuckers and making me very [mad].

I remember a couple of years ago starting a thread about the kind of toys kids play with nowadays and I couldn't believe some of the nasty, angry responses I got. It's made me very wary now as I feel any thread I start could just go pear shaped and have me backing away nervously.

It is why Chat is the safer option but you won't ever get rid of AIBU as it garners the most traffic...hence all the AIBUs that are not AIBUs. I personally think it should just be called The Vent where posters just purge...and replies are restricted to one emoticon.

even. See what you've all done now

Gunfights? Autocorrect fail. That should have been bunfights.

My favourites was the helium balloons one.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes
My favourites was the helium balloons one.

Was that the one where a poster's children were releasing a balloon each in memory of their deceased father? That was one of the worst threads I've ever seen. So nasty.

Yeah fine, there's environmental issues but a polite "this probably isnt the time but when you're feeling a bit stronger, you might want to take a look at this link and consider other ways to remember him". Full on berating is not the way to go on a thread like that.

I think there's often on Mn an odd disconnect between complete non-issues like putting your clothes back in the wardrobe and (to me) a deeply bizarre prim-lipped 'each to their own' line on crucial things like, to pick a current issue and current thread, the Irish same-sex marriage referendum. There is no reason to vote 'no' other than a desire to deprive other people of the rights you enjoy yourself, and I don't think anyone owes that kind of bigotry respect or an 'each to their own' get-out clause.

Somewhere in the middle are current threads like the 'tampons on display' one, which I do think has shown up some quite odd, deeply ashamed 'learned behaviour' around menstruation as a taboo. While I'm not about to start shrieking 'Grow up and own your own blood and make handprint bathroom art out of it, Little Miss Prims!', it may actually be an instructive thread for some of the slightly alarming minority on it who seem to have learnt a deeply ingrained shame about a normal bodily function which would sit more easily in 1950 than 2015.

The thing I love most about AIBU is my complete, utter inability to predict what the general response will be by just reading the thread title.